Fixation

Chapter 3

When he woke up, he thought he might actually have lost his sight altogether. He opened his eyes, but all he could see was a soft white light. He wasn’t in any pain and he was wrapped in a comfortable warmth. For a moment, he wondered if Kaiba had actually managed to kill him. That thought brought a sad smile to his face. It would really suck if Kaiba ended up killing him right when he had finally figured out what Kaiba’s problem with him was. Of course, most of the things in Jou’s life didn’t feel fair, so he couldn’t expect his issues with Kaiba to be any different.

Someone nearby was singing softly, an old American country tune that Jou hadn’t heard since he was a very young boy. It was an old Johnny Cash song about spending an entire career on a car assembly line to steal enough parts to build a Cadillac. It reminded him of quiet sunny days fishing off of the pier in New Jersey, where his dad and grandpa would sing Johnny Cash songs all day long to make him laugh. It conjured up the unique salt and sewage smell of the American ocean, and the taste of real American pizza. The memory brought a smile to his face, despite the fact that he couldn’t see anything.

“Dad?” Jou whispered.

The singing stopped, only to be replaced by a yawn. “I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to wake up.”

“Dad? Where am I? What happened?”

“You’re in the hospital. The police said somebody must have jumped you in an alley on your way to work. That doctor said you crushed a lung and had some kind of seizure. He said you’ve been working for him, running errands and doing yard work and shit. I swear I remember his face from somewhere, but I had it in my head that he was some kinda social worker. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t exactly polite the first time I met him.”

Jou chuckled. His dad never sounded that coherent when he was drunk. Did he remember that he was the one who broke Jou’s ribs? It didn’t really matter, Jou knew. His dad was sober at the moment, and he was there at Jou’s side. Jou wasn’t going to say anything to ruin it. “He does kind of have the social worker look, doesn’t he?”

“You lucked out, having a boss like that. He said when you didn’t show up on time he went looking for you, figured you got distracted at the arcade. If he hadn’t found you, Gods, Katsuya, you’d be dead… He was there with you through the surgery, and he even talked to the hospital about the money. I guess the bill is taken care of. I can’t believe I almost lost you…”

“It’s no sweat, Pop. I’m still here.”

“Look, Katsuya, I know I ain’t never been the best father. I know I lose it sometimes, and I ain’t going ta blame in on the alcohol like some kind of coward. I want you to know that I’m sorry, and that I’m glad you’re alright.”

A calloused thin hand covered Jou’s own.

“Also, I’m… You know, your history teacher came by the apartment all worried about you? He said you aced some test for the first time and he was worried that the change in behavior might mean problems at home…” Jou heard his dad laugh and knew that if he could see his old man there wouldn’t be a bit of humor in his face. “I’ve really fucked things up for you, haven’t I?”

“No, Dad. It’s not your fault I can’t stay awake through math or science.”

“No, hear me out. It is my fault. I… I ain’t had a drink in a few days now, and I’m starting a new job down at the docks on Monday. I’m going to try to make things right, Katsuya, I really am. I’m going to be there to make sure you do your homework and shit like that.”

“Dad…” Jou didn’t want to remind his dad that he’d said all that before. Every time something serious happened, his dad would be scared into sobriety for a while. And for a while, things would be good. Then a month or two would go by, his dad would start to relax, and decide to bring home a six pack to unwind after work, and start talking about how he was definitely going to stay in control this time. It was times like those that reminded Jou that, no matter how bad things got, his dad was still in there somewhere. Unfortunately, he’d lost count of how many times his dad had resolved to clean himself up.

“Anyway, Katsuya, you know I ain’t crazy ‘bout the police. I don’t think they could do anything anyway—bunch of over paid lazy bastards. But some of the guys around the neighborhood, they’re worried about you. Did you get a good look at the guy who attacked you? Do you know who he was? What he looked like?”

Guys around the neighborhood meant Jou’s old gang. Rumor had it that they were running errands for the local Yakuza now, and despite the extortion and criminal activities, the Yakuza has always looked out for the folks in Jou’s neighborhood. Jou might have left the old gang behind, but he was still a local kid and if someone from outside their small section of streets was responsible, the local Yakuza would want to know. More importantly, the local boss had been the one to give Jou little errands to run when he was a kid, small jobs to keep him out of his dad’s sight when things were bad. The Yakuza saw themselves as the only source of justice for those on the fringes of Domino’s society. Jou knew that if his dad ever did kill him, the local boss wouldn’t let his dad live long. That had been a comforting thought, when he as little.

“I got smacked in the back the head,” Jou said honestly, remembering the way his head had bounced off the brick wall. “After that, I don’t remember a whole lot. Why can’t I see anything?” He raised his hands up, slowly touching his eyes. All he felt over his eyes was soft cloth.

“Right,” said his dad, his tone almost relieved. “I’m going to go tell the nurse you’re awake. She might be able to take the bandages off. That doctor of yours said your eyes would need to rest for a few days, but you’ve been out for nearly a week, so it should be fine.”

“A week? I’ve been unconscious for a week?”

“Let me go get the nurse.”

It took the better part of a day to actually get the bandages taken off his eyes. Various needles and tubes had been inserted into his body to make sure he had food and water, they all had to be taken out, and then Jou discovered that stinging burns had formed everywhere any of the bandages or surgical tape touched him. The nurse who took off the bandages apologized and said she hadn’t noticed how red the latex made his skin. Three different doctors came in and introduced themselves, apologizing for his not being able to see them yet. He didn’t have the heart to tell them it didn’t matter, that he could tell their voices from one another just as easily as he always could.

They told him that he was lucky, that he would need to be in the hospital for at least another week to heal, they told him that the hemorrhage he suffered was related to an underlying condition that had been aggravated by the repeated trauma to the back of his head. Each doctor repeated that exact phrase so carefully that Jou wondered if Sakura had written it out on an index card in case they forgot it.

Doctor Nakamura himself was the one to finally take the bandages off of Jou’s eyes. Jou felt a tiny pair of scissors run up the side of his head, cutting the rolled gauze. Then the gauze were slowly rolled off of his eyes. It took a moment for Jou to realize just how much the world had changed. Before, a dark filter seemed to cling to the world around him, peppered with empty spots that made everything gritty and hard to make out. Reading had always been a chore because the individual letters tended to blur together into small dark shapes. Now everything was clear and sharp. The evening sun was pouring in through the open blinds of the hospital room, making the entire world seem to sparkle.

“Better?” Doctor Nakamura asked with a small smile.

Jou couldn’t even find the words to describe the sight. He could only nod.

“I’ll check your stitches and let you get some sleep.” Nakamura pulled aside an open section of Jou’s hospital gown and examined a dark line of stitches just below Jou’s breast bone. He covered it with a latex-free bandage, then helped Jou sit up and pulled aside a small bandage on Jou’s head.
Jou was surprised that it didn’t pull his hair. “You didn’t shave my whole head, did you?”

“No,” said Nakamura. “You’ll want to get it all shaved off though, it looks ridiculous at the moment.”

Jou groaned.

In a seat by the foot of his bed, his dad laughed. “You’ve been getting a bit shaggy anyway, boy.”

“I like my hair long. It made it so I didn’t get in trouble for sleeping in class.”

“That wont be a problem. You’re wont be going back to school this year,” his dad said simply. “Doctor’s orders, boy, six weeks off. Since school’s out in a month, there’s no point in worrying about it.”

Jou felt his stomach drop. “Six weeks? I can’t go back to school? But that means I’ll have to do the whole year over again! I wont be able to start my Senior year with my friends! I’ve got to finish school!”

“Jounouchi,” Nakamura’s smile was replaced by a sympathetic, and unfortunately very knowing, frown. “There is only way I will release you to go back to school before six weeks have passed. If you file a police report, hire a lawyer, and file for an injunction and restraining order against the people who hurt you, I will sign a release authorizing you to return to school.”

People, Jou noticed. Not person, but people. Kaiba and his dad. The idea of telling the police, and the world, that Seto Kaiba and his dad had beaten him up, not once but hundreds of times between the two of them, made Jou’s face grow pale. He didn’t want to go to a foster home or have to deal with his dad going to jail. He couldn’t imagine facing his friends and classmates again if they thought, after all the times he’d been the one to start things with Kaiba, that he had run to the police for a restraining order. No one got a restraining order against a rival. Everyone would call him a coward if he did it. It would also mean giving Kaiba the chance to gloat that he had put Jou in the hospital.

And to top it all off, before Kaiba had punched him that last time, Jou had been too turned on to think straight. He would bet money on Kaiba feeling the same way. From what Jou could remember, Kaiba hadn’t hit him that hard—had hardly touched him, in fact. If Jou hadn’t been hurt already, he’d have laughed it off. Jou was sure that Kaiba had just reacted to avoid looking like he was molesting Jou in a dark alley. Even now, the memory of Kaiba’s aroused body pressing his into the wall made Jou blush. As sick and twisted as Jou knew it was, he wanted another chance to be pinned up against a wall by Kaiba. If he filed for a restraining order, after all the shit he and Kaiba had put each other threw over the last three years, Kaiba would assume it meant Jou wasn’t interested in him like that. He absolutely could not get a restraining order.

Jou shut his eyes and laid back, too ashamed by his own thoughts to look at either his dad or Doctor Nakamura.

“I expect that you could take some summer school classes and still enroll with your friends for your Senior year,” Nakamura said carefully. “Sakura was hoping you’d be available to help with some brick mosaic, but of course, we know your education must come before work.”

“Doc,” Jou’s dad stood up from the chair, “Could you give me and my son a moment alone?”

“Of course,” Nakamura bowed and left the room, leaving the door wide open. Still relying on his hearing more than his eyes, Jou noticed that there were no footsteps echoing down the hall. Nakamura didn’t go far.

“Katsuya, who was it?”

Jou met his dad’s gaze and was relieved to see that his dad wasn’t angry. “That rich prick, Kaiba.”

“The one you were suspended for fighting with last semester?”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the big deal with telling someone? Sounds like that bastard deserves some bad press.”

Jou had seen this coming. His dad may have been half-American, but he was an old fashioned working class man at heart. All Jou had to do was put this in the right context. “The big deal is that then he’d win! I ain’t ever backed down from that bastard and I’m not going to start now! Usually I can hold my own just fine, this time he hit me in the head and everything went dark. The next time I see him I’m going to kick his rich ass into next week! I can’t do that if I go whining for a restraining order like some girl! I’m no coward,” Jou said, realizing that he was echoing his father’s own words. “I am not going to do something that’ll make everybody in Domino think that I’m afraid.”

He knew he won as he saw his father nodding while he spoke. For a few moments, his dad stared at him then grinned. “Well, I guess I’d do the same. Can’t fault you for that. But don’t think you’re getting off easy, boy. You’re going to make up the time you miss in summer school, and if you told your boss you’d help him this summer, I expect you to honor that commitment, you got it?”

“I got it, Pops.”

“Good. I’m going to head home and get some sleep. You may have slept the week away, but I’m exhausted. Your friends have been leaving messages asking about you. I’ll let them know it’ll be alright for them to visit tomorrow.”

“Thanks Dad. See you tomorrow?”

“Yup. G’night, Katsuya.”

Doctor Nakamura returned as soon as Jou’s dad left. Just as he did the first day Jou saw him, he was holding another manila file folder. “So…” He took a deep breath, the shut his mouth.

“So did I really have a seizure?”

“No.” Nakamura looked at his notes for a moment. “Hemorrhage, actually. You would have been permanently blind if we hadn’t operated when we did. You also compressed your left lung, you were lucky not to puncture it. Roland saw the whole thing, he saw Kaiba-sama punch you… I would have expected the cracked ribs to break completely under the force. If it had, you would be looking at six to eight weeks in bed, not just out of school. You were lucky he pulled the punch.”

Jou looked away, too ashamed of the memories of his encounter with Kaiba to meet Nakamura’s gaze. If Roland had told him about the punch, he probably told him about watching Kaiba feel Jou up, too.

“The circumstances weren’t ideal, but bringing you in as an emergency patient allowed me to bypass getting the authorization from your father to treat you. It worked out alright, I think.”

“Yeah, but now I’ve got to go to summer school…”

Nakamura pulled the chair Jou’s father had sat in closer to the head of the bed. “I think summer school is your best solution. It is my medical opinion that there is nothing healthy about Kaiba’s interest in you, for you or him. You cannot keep interacting with him like this while your body is trying to heal. It’s aggravated your injuries and, since it’s the only social interaction Kaiba has outside of his career, it’s inhibiting his social and emotional development.”

“What social and emotional development?”

“Exactly. Right now I think that it’s imperative that you do not see him again until you are completely healed. If you can promise me that you can completely avoid contact with him, then you can probably go back to school in another week or so.”

“He’s in five of my classes.”

“Exac—“ Nakamura looked shocked. “What? Which classes?”

“English, literature, classical history, gym, and math. Oh, and study hall. I guess he’s in six of my classes.”

“English is your first language, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Advanced placement makes sense there, but literature, history, and math? What math class?”

“Pre-calculus. I usually get the theory by listening to the lectures, and there’s never a lot of reading in math,” Jou explained.

“Jou,” Nakamura shut his eyes, suddenly looking much more exhausted than he had before. “Kaiba is required to attend high school because his family services case worker thinks it’s necessary for proper social development. He took calculus, on the university level, when he was fourteen. He received extensive tutoring in classical, Japanese and Western literature. He speaks fluent English, along with Chinese and French. And, for three years he made me write notes insisting that he had exercise induced asthma to get out of gym. I didn’t realize quite how obsessed Kaiba-sama’s become.”

“Are you saying he’s stalking me?”

Nakamura chewed on his lower lip, serious considering the question. “I don’t know the extent of his behavior. If nothing else, I think it’s clear that he has a crush on you. While his approach to getting your attention is not typical, it is very much typical of Kaiba Seto. He researches everything before acting, and I would guess that he positioned himself in your classes to observe you. It’s entirely possible that he picks fights with you to test your response to various types of stimulation. What’s that look for?”

Jou tried to school his features, but the cringe he felt had gone through every inch of him and there was no way not to look freaked out. “Do you have idea how dirty that sounds?”

“That sounds dirty?” Nakamura pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh. “I guess that answers one question I had. You really were telling the truth about being a virgin.”

“Knock it off! If that stimulation involved feeling you up in a filthy alley, you’d think it sounded dirty, too!”

“Alright, I’m sorry,” said Nakamura, still chuckling. “But, it sounds like you can’t possibly avoid him and go back to school. Even if you changed your classes, after your last altercation, he wont back off. Do you think you could manage to do the work if a friend brought it home for you?”

“Home’s worse than school,” Jou reminded him.

“Oh, I wasn’t suggesting your home. Sakura wants to adopt you.”

Jou laughed for a moment, then stopped when he saw the serious expression on Nakamura’s face. “I… I can’t,” said Jou, the regret in his voice obvious. “My dad’s a great dad when he’s sober, and if I’m not around he wouldn’t even bother taking care of himself. He doesn’t eat unless I leave him food. I can’t.”

“Summer school, then. If you work hard you might be able to actually learn the material you’ve had trouble with because of your eyes, and it’ll keep you out of the house.”

“I just want to finish the year,” Jou insisted. “I just have to get through high school, I don’t need to actually learn this stuff. But I suppose it would make things easier at home.”

“You don’t plan on going to college?”

“Can’t afford it. Even if I could, there’s no way I could get in with my grades.”

“If that’s your choice,” Nakamura shrugged. “You might want to consider taking the entrance exams anyway, and maybe the American college entrance exams, just so you have the option if you change your mind.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Alright, get some rest. I’m keeping you here for another week at the least.”

“Another week!”

“At the least,” Nakamura repeated, “So get used to it.”

“There’s no way my dad’ll—“

“I’ve documented your injuries, Jou. If he takes you out of here without my permission, I’ll press charges and he knows it.”

“He knows you saw?” Jou asked, horrified.

“I made sure he knows,” said Nakamura, his voice low. “I also put you in a recovery room right next to the nurse’s station and requested a uniformed security officer be at the nurse’s station when your dad is visiting. I didn’t point that out to him, but I’m fairly certain he noticed.”

“Oh no…”

“Don’t bother being dramatic,” Nakamura said with a grin. “I have worked for Kaiba-sama for too long, I’ve learned a bit about being manipulative.”

“Hey Doc,” said Jou, adjusting the bed so he could lay down. “Could you hold on a second?”

Doctor Nakamura’s smile returned. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Are you sure about Kaiba? I mean, that he could have a crush on me?”

“Ah… Well, the gestures Roland described from your last meeting with Kaiba-sama aren’t really that hard to interpret. It’s the best explanation I can come up with for his behavior. If you’re uncomfortable with it, you really do have to be honest with him. Anything else and you’ll just encourage him.”

“Well, see, I’m not sure if I’m uncomfortable with it. I don’t know if I’m…” He couldn’t even say it.

“A homosexual?”

“Yeah, that.”

“That complicates things. If you were straight, I’d suggest you get a girlfriend. That would put an end to his attentions in an instant. But since you’re not sure… A boyfriend wouldn’t work anyway, since Kaiba-sama would likely see that as an encouraging sign and simply change his focus to drive away the competition. In fact, any competition would probably result in an increase in violent tendencies—male or female. Did anything happen, before your fight in the alley? Something else that made you believe me about his interest in you being of a personal nature?”

“I believe he’s a sadistic pervert, if that’s what you mean.”

“That’s wasn’t the question.”

Blushing like mad, Jou told him about his conversation with Kaiba in the arcade. Nakamura set his face in his hand and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. “Does he often go to the arcade with his brother?”

“Well, he didn’t used to, but for the last few months they usually show up in the afternoons.”

“Every afternoon, or the afternoons when you’re there with your friends?”

“I don’t know. I don’t follow him around.”

Nakamura sighed. “Please tell me about your entire day, try not to leave anything out.”

So Jou did, start to nauseating finish, including his experiment in study hall and going to the arcade with his friends, the headache after watching Mokuba and Yugi play chess, and the chance he took when he whispered in Kaiba’s ear.

“Just how do you feel about Kaiba-sama’s attention?”

Jou was too sore to turn his head completely. And it didn’t matter. He was pretty sure the blush that rose through his body extended all the way to his ears, so Nakamura would see it no matter what he did.

“Oh,” Nakamura said quietly. “Well, then there might be an easy solution. Flirt with him.”

“I can’t do that!” Jou pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them tight. “He practically raped me in that damn alley, I don’t want to encourage him. I don’t want anything to do with him!”

“Then tell him that. No arguing with him, no fighting, no whispering in his ear. Tell him you’re not interested, in a public place where he can’t kill you, and then ignore the temper tantrum he throws afterwards.”

Jou shook his head. “I can’t do that, either. I don’t know if I’m interested in him or not…”

‘Okay, this is easy,” Nakamura sounded frustrated. “The first option is that you flirt with him, see what happens, maybe end up getting a few more broken bones before you two give it up and sleep together. The second option is you tell him you’re not interested and you ignore his taunts and insults until he gives up and moves on. Which option freaks you out more?”

“Him moving on,” said Jou honestly.

“There you go, then. You’re interested in him.”

“So how do I…”

“No,” Nakamura stood up quickly, both hands raised in front of him, and headed for the door. “This conversation is getting too weird. You’ll have to find those answers on your own, from movies and porn, just like everyone else.”

Jou choked and ended up coughing, his eyes bulging. “Eww! You’re a doctor, you’re not supposed to tell me to watch porn!”

“Good night, Jou.”

Jou shook his head then squirmed down into the blankets.

Nakamura popped his head back in a moment later. “Oh, Sakura’s become obsessed with that mosaic walkway. She said she’s already talked to you about it, but if you ever think that it might be easier for you to manage work and school without having to walk home, you’re welcome to stay in our guest room.”

All of the shame Jou felt when faced with Sakura’s too obvious charity came flooding back into his head.

“Just when you think it’d be more… convenient. She mentioned something about what a relief it will be not to have to worry about a lawn any more, and something about water features and planting new trees.” The doctor looked slightly horrified. “It sounds like more work than I want to be stuck with.”

“You wont be.”