To Lose

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh Gx. I do not own the basis for this fanfiction, the concept is taken with permission from “Yami’s Chan” fanfiction ‘Slut’. I make no money from this.


To Lose
By 11


Chapter 03
Slut

It had been a week and four days. It got worse. Now Chazz’s pride was mere veneer. Calm and cool as he could be on the surface without slipping and falling apart, breaking into a thousand pieces.

More challenges with petty loser-does-winner mentality and action. Chazz used to win but then he lost, once, then a few, and it perpetuated until the duel became just a matter of foreplay – with no consequence as far as who actually ‘won’ the duel.

But it was going to get worse than that within the hour. Because by then Chazz was checking his e-mail.

It was a chain mail message – no way to tell who sent the original – the only certainty was that within the past few hours that this message had been sent to every student inbox on the island.

The snickering behind his back had become more pronounced but the storm-eyed youth chose to studiously ignore any and all sniggers and/or leers or ‘under the breath’ comments that came in his general direction.

“Newest on That Slut!”

So this was their ‘secretive’ name for him? Chazz scowled at the message line, pondering if he should even bother clicking the link. It was probably something juvenile, immature, and stupid – likely all three.

He clicked it open. He still may as well see what everyone else had apparently found so very amusing that day. The file loaded, and the image came up on screen. Chazz’s breath sucked in involuntarily.

A thousand curses streaming through his forethoughts as he stared at the image and then quickly snapped another browser to the front before Crowler’s usual pass during the lecture.

Crowler passed, continuing on in his arrogant high tones on the importance of whatever it was the class’s current focus was. Chazz forced himself to take a breath and switched the browser back to the image.

When had they even--? No, more to the point: how? He had been conscious every time that… something like ‘that’ happened. So HOW did this image get taken?!

It was unmistakably Chazz in the photo, the other boys he could somewhat identify though any real distinguishing marks were cut off at the edges or by another’s arm or leg.

He scrolled down and felt himself go numb, starting with his fingers, and ending with a cold and fuzzy cotton feeling in his head. There were more pictures. He was in all of them. In every one he was… doing things that no one should have ever seen him do.

Things he should never have done in the first place, things that no good, self-respecting, boy would ever do. How did it end up like that anyway?!

It was escalating somehow… he had to stop it. But was it already too late? Did he have a choice?! How could he possibly fix this?!!

He fought his facial features trying to twist in disgust and shame – he had to swallow back the urge to vomit after the fourth image. He wouldn’t get to see the fifth until later.
Crowler’s hand snapped down the front of his computer closing it.

“Mr. Princeton, I do believe you are not using this to take notes.” The sallow-faced man sneered at him.

Chazz fought the urge to scream as Crowler scooped up his computer and went back to the front of the class – dear gods that may exist DO NOT let him OPEN that computer!!

“Princeton! Notes! Now!” Crowler instructed snappishly, as he set the computer aside and continued of with his lecture.

Chazz got out the required pencil and paper and dutifully copied the board – but he couldn’t stop the agonizing everytime anyone came near the computer. All they’d have to do was open it up and it would automatically reload to one of those… ‘pictures’!

He was struck by an errant thought – had Sartorius seen those images yet?! If Sartorius saw… what would he do? What could he do?!

Chazz cursed to himself – he was asking that question far too often. But he still couldn’t think of a single answer – and it was slowly killing him with anxiety and panic.

Thankfully Crowler had not opened the computer during the course of the class. He was able to reclaim the laptop at the end of the lecture. More snickers, more whispering that was more like just talking now.

“You’re usually such a good student!” Crowler sighed melodramatically, “I don’t want you goofing off during class like some other student I could name!”

Some other student? Ah yes, the stupid Slifer, the slacker; Jaden. “It won’t happen again Professor.” Chazz assured him curtly before taking his computer and rushing out of the classroom – momentarily relieved.

He had planned to hole up in his room until the late evening, finishing homework and other work – and just staying away from the possibility of getting into one of ‘those’ ‘duels’.

Those plans were thwarted by a group of boys gathered and waiting just outside his dorm door.

Somehow it ended the same.

There was no duel involved. They pointed out that Chazz wouldn’t want to be seen in the hall in his ‘activities’ – so Chazz’s room quickly became defiled.

Alternating lengths of flesh between mouth and hands, faceless boys, eyes that looked away, that glazed over. Somehow he’d lost control of the situation every time – and if he could blot out their minds through this then maybe he could take control back in some small way.

But he couldn’t get his mind away from those pictures. Perhaps it was errant thoughts like those that distracted him from the half-intelligible gibberish those boys began groaning and moaning – just prior to flesh piercing his backside – skin searing skin as it thrust inside him.

A hoarse cry and another mass was shoved down his throat. A third pair of legs humping his middle, all wet skin and searing pain at his back, and choking hot and pulsing in his throat.

Then the boys were all jerking and moaning, and Chazz cursed loudly in his mind as the sounds intensified, and white liquid globs shot into his mouth, gagging his throat – and he fought to swallow down around that length still pumping and gushing into him.

The flesh in his back pounding inside hot viscous liquid jelly squishing inside him, the third smeared his belly and chest with cum – that shot and stuck at his neck and hair. The two others, shooting theirs into his stroking hands – across his arms, and sides. His bed would be a mess.

His hands pumped the last of the two panting boys, the third humping his body until he’d finally spent himself. The other lifting Chazz’s legs at the last draining his seed into the other’s body – pumping the last until soft and pink he slid from Chazz’s red abused entrance.

The hole closed, and the jelly still sat inside him, squishing and oozing, and trailing just a little bit out of him onto the bedsheets.

His mouth tasted bitter and hot with slime as the final one pulled away from his mouth, member soft, his seed drank down Chazz’s pale throat.

“Well that was fun!” they laughed to each other, as if Chazz were not even present, and they moved and dressed – “We should do this again sometime.” “Next time I get his ass!” “Think we could fit two of us in there if we tried?” “Yeah! Let’s try that!”

“Later Slut!”

Deriding, mocking, jeering – and then they were gone, and their thick seed sat drying on Chazz’s skin – oozing out his backside, still coating his mouth. The disgust welled up in his body like a tangible thing worming up from inside him.

His stomach convulsed and he shot up for the wastebasket – vomiting every content of his stomach – hopefully that loathsome one’s seed with it! He felt the other’s drip out of his backside onto his carpet, and the globs fell thick and jellied out form inside him.

He vomited again – until he finally gathered the strength to step into his shower and wash the worst of it from his body.

Here like this it was okay to curl his shoulders in on himself. It was okay if his body was shaking slightly, with fear? No it was revulsion. He wasn’t scared – just so thoroughly disgusted! With those boys! With himself for allowing it to happen.

Those pictures… it all still eluded him how people had found out – how a duel with ante had ended up turning into something like this. Would they always be waiting outside his room then?

He washed himself a second and third time – he still didn’t feel clean when he stepped from the shower. In his room, he could barely stand to look towards the bed – he’d have to wash the sheets – but the stain of the memory would remain. That would never go away.

His door was still unlocked. He could hear voices coming down the hall – toward his door. He felt the sickness again.

He dashed over and locked it – quickly – one hard twist and he felt the metal stock slide into place. Now he was safe – at least for a while. Maybe…

Chazz cursed himself again and stepped away from the door glaring at it, as thought the door itself had been the cause for his anxiety. This room wouldn’t be safe anymore if it had already come to this.

His room had already been made into a romping ground for ‘those’ kinds of things. He couldn’t go back and erase that. Perhaps he’d sleep in his tub tonight.

But then there was a knock on his door. “Hey, Slut! We know you’re in there. Tookeshi said you showed him and some guys a good time.”

No. No. No.

“Come on, let us in. We’re next in line – you can’t be that tired after one go – right, Slut?”

No. No. No.

They kept knocking – they weren’t going away. They weren’t even using his name – though that was a good thing really – it helped disassociate ‘Chazz’ the person he was fro ‘Slut’ the person these people made him be.

“Chazz~?”

NO! NO! NO!

If it would have helped Chazz would have covered his ears and screamed at them to go away. He had to get out of here! But they were at his door!

Chazz went for the balcony, leaving the door locked and the boys behind, leaping down to the dais room just below.

The female student within started with a cry – too shocked to stop him before he went to her door and exited to the hall on the second floor.

He had to get out of the dorm! He made it to the forest before it occurred to him he could have gone to Sartorius… maybe.

He didn’t want to see him yet. He hadn’t seen those pictures yet had he? If he hadn’t it would only be a matter of time. What would he say? What would he do?

Chazz didn’t know, so he kept walking – until he reached the cliff buffs and cool sea air struck his face and nose. It seemed cleaner here – he couldn’t hear the voices, or those boys calling after him.

The world was at peace, and Chazz was not. But right here, he could almost pretend that everything was right with him as well.

At least until he sat down and grimaced – his backside was still very sore, but at least he could still sit – that would have been a problem otherwise during class.

The pain was still there – so was the memory – too fresh for memory to full discard. It was getting worse, so much worse. He couldn’t think of a way to stop it. He couldn’t think of what he could do, let alone should do.

It felt like he was breaking – that the person “Chazz” was starting to slowly be picked away and was disappearing in chips and splintered parts. He couldn’t go back to the dorm… where would he go? Where could he go?

“Hey Chazz!”

Chazz cursed to himself, instantly recognizing the voice, it was no cause for concern. Only annoyance. Stupid slifer, he never ceased to find him when Chazz least needed the idiot around.

“So I didn’t see you at lunch after lecture with Crowler,” Jaden grinned stupidly, “Weird to see you goofing off during class – but dueling against a computer can be wicked fun sometimes, huh?”

Well obviously Jaden would think Chazz was playing a game and not reading his e-mail. Did this idiot even bother checking his e-mail?

No, probably not. If he did, he probably wouldn’t be talking to Chazz right now. He’d be too disgusted if he did. Jaden disgusted… Chazz had never actually seen that.

The slifer seemed to never get upset or angry or horrified at anthing – not unless the cafeteria was out of fried shrimp, that apparently was a top-ranked travesty. Chazz had no desire to see what real and true disgust would look like on Jaden’s features.

“—so I brought you this!”

Jaden finished talking and pressed the wrapped bun he’d been carrying toward Chazz. The storm-eyed boy sneered down at the offering, “Right – what is ‘that’?”

“It’s a meat bun! I would have gotten you a cheese one too except they were all out by the time I went back to ask Dorothy for some extras.”

Chazz’s stomach growled, but it wasn’t too loud. That’s right he’d skipped lunch directly after lecture so he could run back to his room… then he’d gotten ambushed. A fresh wave of nausea stole over his face.

Jaden frowned at the pallor, leaning closer, hand coming to rest on Chazz’s forehead – “Chazz? Are you sick? You got really pale.”

Chazz jerked away from the other, and the offending hand. “I’m fine! Don’t get to close – stupid slifer!”

“Oh good,” Jaden grinned again, “Your color just came back. Sorry about that – figured I’d ask though, since you did leave early. Here.”

Chazz stared at the bun offered for the second time. Oh yes, hadn’t Jaden been saying something about him missing lunch and was now bringing him this horrid thing. Even though he was kind of hungry… it was the stupid slifer offering.

Well his stomach wasn’t loud yet. He’d be fine until later. “I’m fine, I just wasn’t hungry at lunch – so get that thing out of my face!”

His stomach gurgled again – this time louder. Jaden’s grin just got wider, “Seems like you’re hungry now. Sure you don’t want it? It’s good.”

No! His pride would never allow him to accept something from ‘Jaden’! The slacker, the idiot, the general and total pain in Chazz’ side ever since the brunette came to duel academy!

“I’m positive,” Chazz glowered, “I. Don’t. Want. It.”

“Okay.” Jaden still grinned, sitting down next to Chazz and setting the wrapped bu between them.

Chazz glowered, as the slifer just sat down staring out to sea, still grinning stupidly, as if trying to mimic the sun or some other too bright and burning object. Not that Jaden was bright, or burned – probably. Though that grin certainly warranted squinting.

Pride stayed Chazz’s hand another five minutes, glaring at Jaden, before he glanced back at the bun, stomach snarling loudly again, and plucked the bun from the ground, tearing it from the plastic and scarfing it down as quickly as he could. To avoid the length of time that Jaden would be able to sit and grin in triumph that he was right.

And true to the annoying character that he had, the brunette turned and grinned, as if to mockingly say: “See! I knew you were hungry!” Chazz just glared back, in what he hoped was a scathing way, despite his eating during the death glare.

“You’re going to give yourself hiccups.” Jaden just kept grinning. Chazz kept glaring, like he cared if he got hiccups! Jaden laughed lightly, still grinning before turning back to the front.

Chazz finished chewing, and recounted that he would have hopped up and ran off someplace else to eat, if it hadn’t just been safer to stay here. That and he was too sore still to be jumping around a lot without ripping skin again.

He was glad for the bun though. He had needed that – he was feeling a little more normal now. This was usual – this was “Chazz”.

This was Jaden – like this there was no constant reminder present of the things that had gone on behind closed doors – and really should have stayed that way. Chazz swallowed the last and scowled again. He did have to go back sometime didn’t he… no.

No he really didn’t want to. Maybe he could hide out in the nurse’s office? Would anyone think to check there for him? Probably, it did seem like the most obvious place a student could hide from other students.

No. No. No.

He couldn’t go back there. He couldn’t…

Jaden took the empty bun’s wrap and krinkled it up in his palm for later disposal before standing up. The sun orange and gold on the ocean surface as it swooped lower in the sky. “I’m going back to the dorm. You heading back too?”

Chazz knew he had to, but he dreaded it, so he’d postpone that for as long as he could. As long as he possible could.

Jaden must have taken his silence as a kind of invitation to start talking to him again. “You could come with me? Syrus wouldn’t mind, and there’s a bunk free – if you stay over we can stay up and duel all night! Or watch old films – I think Syrus got some collection or another…”

“To the Slifer dorms?” Chazz almost growled, incredulous, “There’s no way! Never! Just go away, slacker! Not like I asked for the bun anyway!”

Jaden just shrugged, impervious to insult and invective. “Well if you want to, anytime you want to come by is fine, you know.” Then grinning he started away back toward the slifer dorms.

He wasn’t walking very fast, Chazz could still see the red of his back when his cell phone rang.

It was Sartorius. “Sartorius!” Chazz greeted, half shocked, half dreading, anxious and curious and still confused about how this could and would affect things between them. No. No. No. He couldn’t lose him. Those eyes were the only reason he’d started.

Those eyes that told him he was worth something. He needed that. Without that… what was there to it? Any of it?

“Chazz,” Sartorius’ fluid voice came over the line. There was a lot of background noise – was he in a meeting? A class? People were laughing, and there was a lilting tune somewhere like music playing. Where was he?

“Sartorius… If you’ve already seen it I don’t know what to tell you, if you haven’t, then let me explain before you do-!” Chazz started, but Sartorius cut him off.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you very well.”

Chazz tried again, “It’s just I’m confused, I don’t know how people found out, but it’s gotten worse, I’m--!” he stopped himself and wondered if that was something he should even attempt to admit…

No, if Sartorius didn’t know it was better. He’d try to explain to him in person or… something.

“I still can’t hear you,” Sartorius’ voice interrupted the quiet. Then it was his turn to speak, “I’m just calling to tell you I’m not going to be back for a couple of days – that’s all.”

“Oh,” Chazz breathed, relieved or disappointed. If Sartorius was here, he could talk to him, maybe he would know what to do about all this – because Chazz didn’t. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you,” Sartorius responded back, “I will see you then. Goodbye, Chazz.”

Then the line clicked dead, and Chazz contemplated the call. He hadn’t told Sartorius about the pictures, Sartorius still didn’t know, but he would eventually and then what? He had a few days to prepare, but that wasn’t long.

He really didn’t want to go back. He couldn’t go back to the dorms. Now he couldn’t seek refuge with Sartorius either. Where could he go?

His pride prickled again – a wonder it had yet to die, with all that had happened. He looked off after Jaden, the slifer was farther away but not too far, he could catch up to him easily.

He refused to think about it. Then he took off after Jaden.

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