Here's the next xhapter! Thanks to Kuromei for being the brave first reviewer. To everybody else, please send one! I don't bite. Years of Doritos have effectively rotted my teeth to nothingness. Enjoy the show!
Chapter 3: Unchartered Territory
“
In the middle of the night, I was watching you sleep. Didn’t make a sound, not even a peep...” Joey was making up the words as he went along.
It’s not MY fault that I didn’t get to sleep with you tonight, Mai. he thought.
The others were now in their beds as well, except for Tea, who was still doing her solo stripper dance. Despite many warnings and signs from God, the group decided to allow two people of the same gender in the shower at the same time to conserve water. When Joey tried to peek in at Mai when she was washing the still brain-dead Tea, Mai caught him before she dropped her towel and managed to effectively make Joey a tenor for the rest of the night. Rumor has it that Joey actually liked it, though.
I hope nobody figures out that I actually LIKED it when Mai got rough on me. Dude, I am a MAN after all. I’m supposed to be the tough one. AND WHY ARE MY
THOUGHTS BEING BROADCAST TO EVERYONE? PEER INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S HEAD FOR ONCE, YOU JERK! Fine then. Sheesh. What else happened tonight? Oh yes. When Yugi and Bakura showered together, they both simultaneously switched to their ancient alter egos. An argument occurred, a Shadow Game began, and when Yami Bakura inevitably lost, his towel was banished to the Shadow Realm forever, in which Yami Bakura responded by snatch stealing Yami Yugi’s towel and running out the door with it. Yami Yugi, not noticing at the time that he was naked, raced after him around the room while everybody else was playing the game of Life. Nobody noticed the ancient pharaoh in all his unchiseled glory.
Wow. Not even so much as a glance from Pegasus, or from Tristan and Duke. Not even from the girls. How depressing is that? Yami Yugi thought. He eventually had to use Shadow Powers in order to constrict Yami Bakura and get back his towel. But by now, he was already air dried, so he banished his towel to the Shadow Realm as well and then switched back to Yugi.
“What just happened? Why am I naked out here? Is ‘Cheers’ ever gonna be producing new episodes?” he asked in his confusion.
“MUAHAHAHAHA! So, the great Pharaoh decides to hide back in his Millennium Puzzle after our little romp, did he?” Yami Bakura says, trying to mess with Yugi’s mind. “I knew he might feel a little ashamed, especially for being in
that position for the first time, but to go back into the puzzle to cry? What a virgin.”
“What? You raped the Pharaoh? How could you?”
“Well first I told him to bend over and then...”
“Stop! I want you to apologize to him right now. And if he gets pregnant, you better start paying child support!”
“Ummm, right. Sure, whatever.”
“What! I got another baby? That fills up my second car! Where’s my husband in all this?” Mai says. “Why’d he have to leave me? I feel so alone!” Then she goes to the corner and cries. The next player goes ahead and spins.
Yami Yugi comes out and confronts Yami Bakura.
“What did you say to my partner? He’s in his soul room right now, crying like he did when I told him that Santa Claus isn’t real.”
“How dare you speak such lies! He IS real. I tried to steal his Millennium Sleigh thousands of times! But he always gets away and leaves me a lump of coal!” shouts Yami Bakura. He then joins Mai in the corner, crying.
“All I want to do is rule the world! Is that so wrong of me? I have dreams too!”
A few minutes later, the doll formally known as Tea wins the game, proving once again that these guys don’t know what life is all about: selling off your kids and ramming others off the side of the road of Life.
Leaving everything else unsaid, the gang of misfits retire to bed. The house soon became quiet. The only noises heard were some ruffling noises coming from one of the beds, and the soft sniffling coming from Yugi. It wasn’t until four in the morning that everyone miraculously woke up, having to go to the bathroom. Since the girls kinda needed the toilet, the guys were forced to go outside to relieve their bladders. Unfortunately, all the house had in the way of nature outside was the one lonely tree. So all seven of the guys, including Grandpa, had to crowd around the small tree and let loose. They all tried to make the best of the situation by playing a common game for guys. Grandpa won by an inch. Inside, the girls were playing a similar game as well. Mai won by a hair.
“I don’t get it.” says Serenity.
“I don’t think you should.” replies Mai, still feeling rather proud of herself.
Once everybody got back inside, they were all too tired to worry about sleeping arrangements, so they all slept with whomever they wanted to sleep with.
“YAY!” they all said. Much rejoicing came about, and a pie was made.
I think you know who everybody slept with, but in case you don’t, here’s the rundown. Yugi-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------POWER OUTAGE. SYSTEM FAILURE. REBOOTING COMMENCING MOMENTARILY. SYSTEM BACKUP NOW IN EFFECT. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR STAY AT CEDAR POINT, AMERICA’S ROLLER COAST.----who slept with Serenity. Now there can be no confusion!
(Blank stares come from the entire cast and cameramen while the awesome narrator guy looks on in obliviousness.)
What? Moving on, when morning came about, everyone woke up, except for Tea, who was still dancing and was by now bleeding at the feet. Because of the long night, everyone decided on having a great big heaping bowl of name-brand cereal. Since Yugi is a big fan of name-brand cereal, he had a wide variety of them in his cabinet. Everyone broke out a bowl and spoon, selected a cereal, and chowed down. Nothing of interest here, except for the interesting fact that Tristan, Duke, and Pegasus all had the same kind of conveniently named cereal. I can’t say what it was, but what a bunch of Fruitloops, they are.
Duke growled something that sounded a lot like an insult to the narrator. The narrator assumes that Duke isn’t a morning person.
“Got that right.” says his lover.
“Ohhhhhhh...its too early to start defending ourselves. Yugi, get me a cup of coffee will ya?” Duke asks.
“Oops. Doesn’t look like we have any left.” replies Yugi, after checking the pantry.
“What? No COFFEE?” says Duke.
“Did I just hear right? No COFFEE?” shouts Mai.
“HOW COULD WE HAVE RUN OUT OF COFFEE?” yells Grandpa.
“There’s no red Jesus Juice in the refrigerator as well!” exclaims Pegasus.
Suddenly, the four deprived people grow bigger and greener. Uttering simplistic words like “Mai smash!” and “Duke destroy city!”, the fantastically four goes into the nearby Metropolis and starts destroying everything in sight, whilest battling mutant radiation creatures, like moths and armadillos.
“Let’s see here. That’s The Incredible Hulk, Fantastic Four, Superman, and Godzilla so far.” counts Yugi.
Hey! Don’t make it too easy for the readers!
“Sorry.”
After the rampage is done, the four come back to the house.
“So, what do we do now?” asks Mai.
“Hehehehe. I like your style of randomized destruction.” says Tea. “It’s so beautiful to behold. What was the body count?”
“Three hundred sixty-four! But that’s not the point. Are you going to tell us how to get to the island now?” says Pegasus.
“Indeed. This doll doesn’t need to eat breakfast. She’s been anorexic for years.”
“Well, duh man. We ALL knew that.” says Joey.
“Anyway, you will all need to purchase a ferry ticket that leaves for Bigcreepypossiblyhauntedbutmostcertainlylethal Island soon. Once there, I will relinquish control over Tea and direct you towards my lair by other means.”
Tea then stops talking and goes into a coma. The gang looks at her defenseless body and Mai immediately steps up next to her, warning the other guys away by unleashing her hidden Electro-Whip.
“Back off, and no one gets hurt.” she warns.
The gang backs away and goes off, arms interlocked with each other, singing “We’re Off To See The Ticketmaster...”, to the ferry station, dragging Tea’s body with them. As soon as they left, Bonz, Mako, Espa Roba, Rex, Weevil, PaniK (yes, that’s how you spell his name), the Paradox Brothers, the Ghouls and Rare Hunters, all of Dartz’s ex-henchmen, and anybody else with a vendetta against the Pharaoh, all invade Yugi’s house, demanding a rematch, only to find an empty home. UV rays later find faint traces of “unknown fluids” everywhere.
The scene goes back to the gang heading for the docks, with each male face blushing slightly red. At the ticket gate, they can see that the boat, and not a very big or fancy one at that, is about ready to leave. The sign for admission prices says:
Adults...$15; Children under 18...$10; No unconscious or coma-induced bodies allowed! “What are we gonna do about this problem?” asks Ryo.
“Well, duh! Pay for yourself, you cheap bas-” exclaims Joey.
“I think he was talking about Tea, Joey.” Yugi interrupted, blocking Joey’s attempt at making this PG-17.
“Oh...I dunno.”
Yugi’s body is then switched into Yami Yugi’s.
“I’ll handle this.”
He then takes Tea’s limp body and goes up to the ticket guy. Or girl. No one could tell which it was. After a few minutes, Yami Yugi walks back with two tickets in his hands...and also Tea.
“Phew...I thought that you sold her for a minute there.” says Joey.
“How did you get the ticket for Tea?” says Serenity.
Yami looks a bit nervous and looks around at everybody. Joey, realizing this clue, goes and covers up Serenity’s ears to save her purity.
“Thank you. I told the...thing, that I slipped the date-rape drug in her and that I wanted to use the island to bang her hard.”
“OHHHHHHH! SCORE! Good job Yami!” was heard by everyone.
While everyone else got their ticket, Yami had a private conversation with his other self.
“So, what’s going on here? Why are we going to this island?”
“Weren’t you paying attention at all?”
“Nope. Just started tuning in.”
“I thought you knew. That’s why you did such a good job lying to the ticket guy/girl.”
“Errr... right, lying. That’s what I did.”
“What do you mean?”
But then the pharaoh retreats back into the recesses of the Millennium Puzzle so that he take matters into his own hands.
The gang boards the boat and it set sails. A few minutes later, Yami emerges again, reenergized, and sees that they are heading in the wrong direction. He goes to see the captain of the ship.
“Excuse me, Captain. But where are we going?”
“Well,” says the man, “I was thinking about going full steam ahead...INTO THE SHADOW REALM!”
He turns around and reveals that he is no other than Marik!
“HAHAHAHAHA slurps some water HAHAHAHAHA!”
Tension rises as our heroes figure out who is driving the boat. Will they survive? What is at Bigcreepypossiblyhauntedbutmostcertainlylethal Island? Do they have a gift shop there? Is it WI-FI capable? What is the true gender of the ticket person? Read on and maybe there will be answers, in the next installment of...Wacky Crazy Funny Silly Zany Party Fan Fic!
To be continued...
