Solitude

Your secret admirer... who could it be?


I stared up at the ceiling of the hospital room, bored. I had nothing to do but sit and wait until Atemu had decided I was ready to leave.

Can you die of boredom in hospitals? Or can they revive you with all those crappy pills?

Jounouchi-kun visited me yesterday. He was disappointed in me.


FLASHBACK:

"Yug', I thought you knew better... I thought you were better... Why'd you do it, Yug'?"

I stared listlessly at the ceiling. Atemu, being the wonderful, kind, loving beautiful, perfect... 'This is going a little too far...' person that he was, had never asked me after that first time, never brought up why I'd been cutting myself, never judged me for it. He didn't. But Jou did. Jou, with his brusque way of handling things, had seemed so disgusted in me, asking me why...

"Jou, Yugi doesn't need to tell us that right now." Atemu's calm, silky, dangerously sexy voice broke through the silence. Jou glowered at him, and then glared at me hatefully, which made me flinch when I met his gaze, and Atemu growled. "Leave, Jou, if you have not come to wish Yugi a speedy recovery."

Jou left.

END FLASHBACK


'(Yeah, but he has no idea what you're going through... Remember, he already has his perfect match, Mai 'Slut' Something-Or-Other. He doesn't know anything about your feelings for the Pharaoh... or the fact that every moment you're dying on the inside. He isn't even a true enough friend that he doesn't see that. You'd have to be blind...)'

I made a face, and protested against myself on Jounouchi's behalf.

'Love blinds people.'

Of course, I had an arguement for that one too.

'(Yeah, but if that's true, then that means the Pharaoh will never see, and then, when they're gone, you'll be the only one left completely and totally alone.)'

I sighed. I hate it when my mind's right. And it only made me feel worse. And it gets better. Apparently Atemu felt all that self-contempt, sorrow, and aching betrayal through the mind-link, because he came running back in only to tackle me against the mattress of my bed and hold me close like he used to, stroking various parts of my hair and face, murmuring to me. I almost didn't respond, but it felt so much like it used to before he went out with Seto-kun that I broke into tears.

Gods-damn me. I will jump off that cliff as soon as I get a chance.

More self-loathing filtered through the mind-link. Atemu held me tighter, kissing my forehead, my eyelids, tears running down his face as well.

'Great, now he's hurt even more because of me. Good going, Yugi. You fucked things up again!'

I pulled away from Atemu, looking at the floor. Suddenly that really super-clean tile of cream and gray was very interesting. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done this... making you worry... and..." Trying to not tell him my feelings while talking to him was a futile attempt, so I shut the fuck up. Not that Atemu wanted to hear what I had to say anyway. "Don't you need to be with Seto or something?" It took all of my effort and strength to keep the sorrow, and bitterness out of my voice, but I think it was still there anyway...

Can't you see, all along it was me?
How can you be so blind as to see right through me?


Atemu shook his head. "We broke up, Yugi."


Blink.


Silence.


Blink.


Processing information that didn't compute...


"What?" My tone was laced with a mixture of disbelief and hope. Had he said what I really hope he'd said? Atemu didn't hear that, thank the gods.

"Seto and I are no longer going out, Yugi."

"..."

"I have found someone else I love... so much more..."

Heartbreak. I forced a bright, happy smile onto my face. It must have failed, but Atemu wasn't looking at me. Instead, he was looking at the floor, a light blush on his face. That was odd... my sexy god doesn't blush... at least... not often... and normally it was because I teased him with something he didn't know about modern society '(MISTLETOE +evil cackle+)'... or we ended up on a... suggestive... possition on the floor because of my clumsiness... or our hands happened to touch each other's at the same time or I stood just a little too close...


Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Only you only true...


"Who?" I asked. My eyes widened as his blush deepened to the point where it was noticable to ANYONE who looked at him at the moment.

'Kawaiiiii!!!!!!!!!'

"Umm..." Atemu cleared his throat. "Do you promise not to run screaming?" Bewildered, I nodded, not exactly sure where this was going.

'Oh gods, don't say Jou! Or Anzu... ~shudders~ Anyone but Anzu...'

Atemu took a deep breath, and looked me dead in the eye.

"Yugi, the one I love is..."

(((+Cue dramatic pause+)))

"You."

I think my heart stopped beating.

I couldn't make any coherant sound when I tried to reply, so instead, I used the mind-link.

//ATEMU +mental glomp+ I love you too!//


The End