My life my pain
folder
Yu-Gi-Oh › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
22
Views:
9,657
Reviews:
112
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Yu-Gi-Oh › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
22
Views:
9,657
Reviews:
112
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Meeting
POV KAIBA
As I did so many times in the past two months, I visited the hospital. As I entered, nobody dared to asked me for my ID. I had solved this inconvenience the first time I came. At first I went to Ryou´s room as it was the nearest. After I talked to his doctor and made sure everything was alright (or as alright as possible given the circumstances), I went to Yugi’s room.
Over these two months I somehow managed never to bump into Jou or Honda, or any other who might visit the two of them. On one hand I was relived; on the other…
While I was still thinking about this, I opened the door to Yugi’s room and there he was, next to Yugi who was in a coma-like sleep. He sat on an uncomfortable looking chair, arms resting on the bed with his head buried in them. There sat Jounouchi. I couldn’t see his face because of his position, but it was unmistakably him. Nobody in Japan had hair like his.
I was thinking about just leaving, but before I could make up my mind I saw his head rising. His eyes looked somewhat unfocused, but when they landed on me they widened in shock.
“Kaiba…?”
I just nodded
“What are you doing here?” He asked in amazement.
“You are not the only one who worries about old friends.”
“Friends? You have never been his friend.” Jou said harshly, gesturing to Yugi.
I flinched at his words. I know I never considered myself their friend, but they always seemed to see it differently. I thought I was an unofficial member of their group, even though I never wanted nor appreciated it at the time.
“I see.” I said flatly, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. God how I hate to be rejected.
An uncomfortable silence followed.
He continued to stare at me, and maybe it was because of the pain he could see in my eyes or he just felt guilty for being so harsh to me, but either way his eyes softened. But before he could say something a nurse came in to inform us that it was time for Yugi’s check up and that we had to leave the room.
Jou tenderly patted Yugi’s head and told his sleeping form he would come back later, and then motioned me to follow him.
As we walked to the visitor room I got the chance to have a look at him. He hadn’t changed very much since high school. He looked tired, of course, and even though he looked more muscular he seemed to have become slimmer. But otherwise he still looked as cute as always.
‘…did I just think that Katsuya Jounouchi a.k.a. the mutt looked as cute as always?’ Dear god, I need to get laid.
The room we entered was quite small and nobody else was there. Jou sat down on a chair, and as I followed his example he softly spoke to me.
“…Look Kaiba I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that of course you were Yugi’s friend… on some level…He always would have been glad to take you into our group, but you never seemed to want that. You hurt his feelings after you rejected him time after time. So what changed? Why are you here all of a sudden? After two years Kaiba…what do you want…“ During his speech his eyes had hardened again. Remembering how I always had rejected them seemed to make him angry. Not that I blame him for that.
I looked at him for a long while. Should I tell him that I, the great Seto Kaiba, have been rejected myself? And that this was the reason why I finally understood? I didn’t want to. I was still ashamed and it still hurt, but…it was just fair.
“I… well, a lot happened to me in those two years. Believe it or not life isn’t all daisies and sunshine…not even for me.” I added somewhat indifferently.
Jou stared at me not believing one word I have just said.
“Pray tell me Kaiba! What could possibly be wrong in your life? Can’t think of how to spend all your money? Oh I know, you miss messing with people. You can’t feel all high and mighty without anyone around you can to stamp into the ground. You want to see how bad everyone is doing so you can feel better. I bet that’s the reason you’re here. Well look around, I’m all alone now. Yugi and Ryou are comatose. And me sitting here almost everyday…nothing else to do, nothing I can do to help. Bet you don’t think your life is so bad now after all. Am I right?”
Now it was my time to stare at him. Since when had Jounouchi become so mean and… bitter?
“Well, nice to know that you think so highly of me Jounouichi. Do you really think I am that kind of horrible person that I bask in the misery of others? Do you think I would laugh at somebody who has so much mental pain that they have lived in a hospital for two years?”
“Yeah, actually I do. I have no reason to think differently Kaiba. What do you expect? In school the only time you spoke to us was to insult us or to get something out of us. And now all off a sudden you are here. Claiming to worry about old ´friends´. Don’t make me laugh, Kaiba.”
What could I say to that? He was right. I treated them like trash during school. No wonder Jounouchi didn’t believe me.
“You are right Jounouchi. It’s just…never mind. Sorry I bothered you.” I said as I turned around to leave.
“Never pictured you as a chicken Kaiba.” I heard him say just as I was about to close the door.
“What?” I asked as I turn to face Jounouchi.
“I said I never pictured you as a chicken. You just run out without defending yourself. You couldn’t have been very serious about making up if you’re just leaving like that, without even trying to explain yourself. Or are you just afraid of how I would react?” Jounouchi said. A cocky grin spread across his face
Damn, he was right again.
Should I tell him? Will he laugh…or worse, pity me? But maybe a bit of compassion wouldn’t be that bad. I guess to gain his trust I would have to be honest. I am really sick of being alone all the time.
“I …” God, it’s so hard to admit my weakness. “…My lover left me for a woman…“
“What, you were in love with a lesbian?” Jou shrieked.
‘Still as dense as ever, I see,’ I thought to myself. “No, my BOYFRIEND left me for a woman. He wanted to have children and live a normal life. I just didn’t fit in his plan. At least not in the open, he…“ I realized that my voice had gotten bitter, so I stopped. This was no way to tell him my story.
Jou looked shocked.
“You’re GAY? You, Seto Kaiba, are gay and…“ Just then the rest of what I said seemed to fall into place. “…you got dumped? You, the richest and hot…and most powerful guy…because he wanted a NORMAL relationship? Man that was shitty of him. I’m really sorry for that. Because he wanted a normal relationship…“
Did he almost say hottest? No, couldn’t be. Even though all his friends were gay, he has never voiced that he was also interested in men. He had probably wanted to say hotheaded. Yeah, that must have been it.
“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m over it” That was an outright lie, and from Jou’s expression I could see that he knew it.
“So now you know what it feels to be rejected, but I still don’t understand why it gave you the impulse to come here. The one you’ve hurt the most is in no condition to forgive you or even recognize an apology.”
“I am not here for forgiveness. I want to help. I regret how I have treated you all and… I know it’s late now, but I want to make it all better. And even though Ryou and Yugi won’t recognize or appreciate my being here, I want to be there for them… After all, that’s what a friend is for, isn’t it? Being there in the worst of times and not expecting anything in return.”
Jou looked me up and down. Like he was searching for something.
“So you really want to be his friend.”
“No, I am not just here for him, but also for Ryou and…for you.”
POV JOU
I think I’m going to hyperventilate!!!
Here, standing right before me, is Seto Kaiba, telling me he is here not only for Ryou and Yugi’s friendship, but for mine as well. Oh my God!
So, that’s the third chapter…
God Kaiba is so out of character…is that bad? I think even a short period of time can chance a person drastically. And if there is hurt and rejection in it, this person could change even more. Some shut the whole world out, but because that is how Kaiba had lived his whole life I think its just reasonable that he wanted something to change - that’s what I think….and as it is my story my word is finale and I can do what I want, even his it makes no sense muhaha…
As before my beta blackwidow did a wonderful job in turning my crap into something readable (God knows it must have really been hart work- English grammar just makes nooo sense to me.
________________________________________________________
Next chapter will be Jou‘s POV.
I will have a Yugi and/or Ryou chapter soon, NO REAL action between them
Thanks for reviewing
LadyVirgo: You gave me some great ideas
Bandit: Glad you like it.
Dragon Kiania: Well, it will probably take some time till they have a physical relationship…or maybe not…don’t know jet.
Catti.dono:Help bringing back the Yamis…ha he will end up with them in hell MUHAHAHAHA (nor really ;-) )
Seto‘s wife: Thank you
Tkakaouto: You liked my `thingy` …thanks… I think…*lol*
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING. It makes me soooo happy…to each of you a BIG kiss…
you don’t want a kiss?
OK…sorry Seto they don‘t want you….
What? You thought I wanted to kiss you all? eww
Please review
As I did so many times in the past two months, I visited the hospital. As I entered, nobody dared to asked me for my ID. I had solved this inconvenience the first time I came. At first I went to Ryou´s room as it was the nearest. After I talked to his doctor and made sure everything was alright (or as alright as possible given the circumstances), I went to Yugi’s room.
Over these two months I somehow managed never to bump into Jou or Honda, or any other who might visit the two of them. On one hand I was relived; on the other…
While I was still thinking about this, I opened the door to Yugi’s room and there he was, next to Yugi who was in a coma-like sleep. He sat on an uncomfortable looking chair, arms resting on the bed with his head buried in them. There sat Jounouchi. I couldn’t see his face because of his position, but it was unmistakably him. Nobody in Japan had hair like his.
I was thinking about just leaving, but before I could make up my mind I saw his head rising. His eyes looked somewhat unfocused, but when they landed on me they widened in shock.
“Kaiba…?”
I just nodded
“What are you doing here?” He asked in amazement.
“You are not the only one who worries about old friends.”
“Friends? You have never been his friend.” Jou said harshly, gesturing to Yugi.
I flinched at his words. I know I never considered myself their friend, but they always seemed to see it differently. I thought I was an unofficial member of their group, even though I never wanted nor appreciated it at the time.
“I see.” I said flatly, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. God how I hate to be rejected.
An uncomfortable silence followed.
He continued to stare at me, and maybe it was because of the pain he could see in my eyes or he just felt guilty for being so harsh to me, but either way his eyes softened. But before he could say something a nurse came in to inform us that it was time for Yugi’s check up and that we had to leave the room.
Jou tenderly patted Yugi’s head and told his sleeping form he would come back later, and then motioned me to follow him.
As we walked to the visitor room I got the chance to have a look at him. He hadn’t changed very much since high school. He looked tired, of course, and even though he looked more muscular he seemed to have become slimmer. But otherwise he still looked as cute as always.
‘…did I just think that Katsuya Jounouchi a.k.a. the mutt looked as cute as always?’ Dear god, I need to get laid.
The room we entered was quite small and nobody else was there. Jou sat down on a chair, and as I followed his example he softly spoke to me.
“…Look Kaiba I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that of course you were Yugi’s friend… on some level…He always would have been glad to take you into our group, but you never seemed to want that. You hurt his feelings after you rejected him time after time. So what changed? Why are you here all of a sudden? After two years Kaiba…what do you want…“ During his speech his eyes had hardened again. Remembering how I always had rejected them seemed to make him angry. Not that I blame him for that.
I looked at him for a long while. Should I tell him that I, the great Seto Kaiba, have been rejected myself? And that this was the reason why I finally understood? I didn’t want to. I was still ashamed and it still hurt, but…it was just fair.
“I… well, a lot happened to me in those two years. Believe it or not life isn’t all daisies and sunshine…not even for me.” I added somewhat indifferently.
Jou stared at me not believing one word I have just said.
“Pray tell me Kaiba! What could possibly be wrong in your life? Can’t think of how to spend all your money? Oh I know, you miss messing with people. You can’t feel all high and mighty without anyone around you can to stamp into the ground. You want to see how bad everyone is doing so you can feel better. I bet that’s the reason you’re here. Well look around, I’m all alone now. Yugi and Ryou are comatose. And me sitting here almost everyday…nothing else to do, nothing I can do to help. Bet you don’t think your life is so bad now after all. Am I right?”
Now it was my time to stare at him. Since when had Jounouchi become so mean and… bitter?
“Well, nice to know that you think so highly of me Jounouichi. Do you really think I am that kind of horrible person that I bask in the misery of others? Do you think I would laugh at somebody who has so much mental pain that they have lived in a hospital for two years?”
“Yeah, actually I do. I have no reason to think differently Kaiba. What do you expect? In school the only time you spoke to us was to insult us or to get something out of us. And now all off a sudden you are here. Claiming to worry about old ´friends´. Don’t make me laugh, Kaiba.”
What could I say to that? He was right. I treated them like trash during school. No wonder Jounouchi didn’t believe me.
“You are right Jounouchi. It’s just…never mind. Sorry I bothered you.” I said as I turned around to leave.
“Never pictured you as a chicken Kaiba.” I heard him say just as I was about to close the door.
“What?” I asked as I turn to face Jounouchi.
“I said I never pictured you as a chicken. You just run out without defending yourself. You couldn’t have been very serious about making up if you’re just leaving like that, without even trying to explain yourself. Or are you just afraid of how I would react?” Jounouchi said. A cocky grin spread across his face
Damn, he was right again.
Should I tell him? Will he laugh…or worse, pity me? But maybe a bit of compassion wouldn’t be that bad. I guess to gain his trust I would have to be honest. I am really sick of being alone all the time.
“I …” God, it’s so hard to admit my weakness. “…My lover left me for a woman…“
“What, you were in love with a lesbian?” Jou shrieked.
‘Still as dense as ever, I see,’ I thought to myself. “No, my BOYFRIEND left me for a woman. He wanted to have children and live a normal life. I just didn’t fit in his plan. At least not in the open, he…“ I realized that my voice had gotten bitter, so I stopped. This was no way to tell him my story.
Jou looked shocked.
“You’re GAY? You, Seto Kaiba, are gay and…“ Just then the rest of what I said seemed to fall into place. “…you got dumped? You, the richest and hot…and most powerful guy…because he wanted a NORMAL relationship? Man that was shitty of him. I’m really sorry for that. Because he wanted a normal relationship…“
Did he almost say hottest? No, couldn’t be. Even though all his friends were gay, he has never voiced that he was also interested in men. He had probably wanted to say hotheaded. Yeah, that must have been it.
“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m over it” That was an outright lie, and from Jou’s expression I could see that he knew it.
“So now you know what it feels to be rejected, but I still don’t understand why it gave you the impulse to come here. The one you’ve hurt the most is in no condition to forgive you or even recognize an apology.”
“I am not here for forgiveness. I want to help. I regret how I have treated you all and… I know it’s late now, but I want to make it all better. And even though Ryou and Yugi won’t recognize or appreciate my being here, I want to be there for them… After all, that’s what a friend is for, isn’t it? Being there in the worst of times and not expecting anything in return.”
Jou looked me up and down. Like he was searching for something.
“So you really want to be his friend.”
“No, I am not just here for him, but also for Ryou and…for you.”
POV JOU
I think I’m going to hyperventilate!!!
Here, standing right before me, is Seto Kaiba, telling me he is here not only for Ryou and Yugi’s friendship, but for mine as well. Oh my God!
So, that’s the third chapter…
God Kaiba is so out of character…is that bad? I think even a short period of time can chance a person drastically. And if there is hurt and rejection in it, this person could change even more. Some shut the whole world out, but because that is how Kaiba had lived his whole life I think its just reasonable that he wanted something to change - that’s what I think….and as it is my story my word is finale and I can do what I want, even his it makes no sense muhaha…
As before my beta blackwidow did a wonderful job in turning my crap into something readable (God knows it must have really been hart work- English grammar just makes nooo sense to me.
________________________________________________________
Next chapter will be Jou‘s POV.
I will have a Yugi and/or Ryou chapter soon, NO REAL action between them
Thanks for reviewing
LadyVirgo: You gave me some great ideas
Bandit: Glad you like it.
Dragon Kiania: Well, it will probably take some time till they have a physical relationship…or maybe not…don’t know jet.
Catti.dono:Help bringing back the Yamis…ha he will end up with them in hell MUHAHAHAHA (nor really ;-) )
Seto‘s wife: Thank you
Tkakaouto: You liked my `thingy` …thanks… I think…*lol*
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING. It makes me soooo happy…to each of you a BIG kiss…
you don’t want a kiss?
OK…sorry Seto they don‘t want you….
What? You thought I wanted to kiss you all? eww
Please review