The Han Solo and the Princess Complex

Gah!

::dies::

Finally, AFF.net is working again... at least for now, anyway. Hopefully all the problems have been sorted through... though, note to self: donate to this site on a regular basis as soon as there's more than $10 on the credit card...

Anyway, cut to the chase; here's chapter three! Read, enjoy, and then review, and stop by http://skyladoragono.deviantart.com sometime to check out pictures I've drawn and will be drawing for this fic.

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CHAPTER THREE – PLOTTING AND SET-UPS

Circumstances usually brought unlikely people together… but unusual circumstances brought together people that normally would not give each other the time of day, not to mention being anywhere near each other. This was painfully apparent that day a week after the park incident in Seto’s spacious office atop Kaiba Corporation Headquarters, as said boy millionaire kept giving Marik a deadly look. Jonouchi shifted uncomfortably next to him; he accepted the fact that the Egyptian was an okay person now, but still being around him made him more than a little nervous.

Marik, for his part, ignored the death glare and unease that was directed toward him. Instead, hpt hpt his f pri primarily on the white board he was at, as well as Yugi and Ryou, who were the only ones not bothered by his presence.

“Okay, we have several problems here,” he said, writing Atemu’s name in black marker at the center of the board before circling it. “Most of them involve the pharaoh, so we’ll just assume he’s the center of attention as per usual.”

That got a giggle out of Yugi; Seto just rolled his eyes.

“Obvious problem number one,” the Egyptian continued, writing Bakura’s name near Atemu’s, before circling it and connecting the two circles with a line from a red marker. “There’s some heavy chemistry going on between these two, but several factors are preventing them from going all out. One of them…”

He trailed off, going to the other side of the board to write Seto and Jonouchi’s names. He connected the former to Atemu’s with a purple line, and connected the latter to the former with a red line.

“…is fac fact that Seto wants to – for lack of a better way to phrase this – screw the pharaoh senseless.”

Seto smirked as a bit of a scowl made its way onto Jonouchi’s face. Marik caught the look, however, and raised an eyebrow.

“Wanna add something, Jou?” he asked.

Jonouchi shifted uncomfortably, but this time it was not because of Marik’s presence. He looked up to his boyfriend a moment, before he caved, his annoyance from having to hear Seto rant about Atemu finally getting the better of him.

“Why you always gotta be after Atemu, hunh?” he demanded, crossing his arms. “What, I’m not good enough or something?”

Seto raised an amused eyebrow, wrapping his arm around Jonouchi. “I never said it wouldn’t be a threesome, inu-koi.”

Jonouchi blushed slightly at the use of his pet name in front of his friends, before he made a face.

“But…” he began as Seto leaned down to grab his drink from the coffee table before them, “I can’t do anything like that with ATEMU. I know him, and know OF him too well. For me, just kissing him would be like… kissing Yugi’s grandpa.”

Seto had just raised his drink to his lips when Jonouchi pointed that out. He made a face, disgusted by the mental image, before quickly setting the glass down. Marik had to hold a hand over his mouth to stop himself from busting out laughing as Yugi shook his head sadly.

“’Sides,” Jonouchi continued, “if you want a threesome so bad, why not Yugi? He’s cuter anyway.”

Both Marik and Seto raised an eyebrow at that statement. It was the former that had control over the whiteboard however, and he discreetly wrote Yugi’s name down on it, connectit tit to Jonouchi’s with a red line, writing a quick question moverover that line. Yugi flushed, his face turning about the same shade of red as the marker.

“Okay,” Marik said, “what else is stopping these two?”

The four boys looked at each other, considering, before Yugi spoke up.

“Me,” he said. “Or, at least, mou hitori no boku’s thoughts of me. He promised me that I would be the only one for him, but that obviously isn’t the case.”

“That doesn’t bother you, Yugi-kun?” Ryou asked, a bit of a guilty look on his face. After all, it was HIS yami that was making the pharaoh break that promise… Yugi just waved a hand dismissively.

“We haven’t even done anything yet,” he explained. “Every time we try to it’s just… weird. Besides, I’ve already accepted that he really isn’t the one for me, and it doesn’t bother me.”

Marik connected Atemu and Yugi’s names on the whiteboard as an oddly thoughtful look crossed Seto’s face, making the short of stature duelist shift in his seat uncomfortably. He tried to pretend that Kaiba was not looking at him as Marik stepped away from the board, observing it thoughtfully, before turning his focus to Ryou.

“So, where are you on here?”

“Me?” Ryou asked, incredulous. “Off on the sidelines. I’m not interested in anyone… And don’t give me that look, Marik,” he continued, as the Egyptian gave him a disbelieving look.

“What?” Yugi asked, confused.

Marik grinned. “Last time I was in Japan, I made a joke that Ryou and the tomb robber were together. I had to dodge knives on the way out of the house, but seeing the embarrassed looks on their faces made it worth it.”

Yugi sweatdropped as Ryou shook his head sadly.

“And what about you, Ishitar?” Seto asked, not sounding amused.

Marik gave him an exasperated look. “I keep bopping from country to country because of museum exhibits. You think I have time for a relationship?” he asked. He sighed, shaking his head. “Anyway… anything else holding these two back?”

He tapped the space between Atemu and Bakura’s names for emphasis. Another long stretch of silence passed, before Jonouchi offered the last piece of the puzzle they were mulling over.

“The past,” he said.

An enlightened look appeared on Ryou’s face. “Of course… if it weren’t for Bakura, the two of them wouldn’t even BE here now.”

“Why let that bother them though?” Seto asked, raising an eyebrow. “It happened THREE THOUSAND YEARS ago!”

“But, they also were imprisoned in their Items for those three thousand years,” Yugi pointed out. “They didn’t – or at least Bakura didn’t – have anything to focus on BUT the past.”

“And considering how much hate he felt toward the pharaoh…” Ryou trailed off. “Geeze, it really is a miracle they feel anything but absolute hate toward each other.”

Marik nodded. “Which leads to the second half of this meeting,” he began, taking up an eraser and wiping away all the names except for Atemu and Bakura’s. “Do we try to get these two together or noAnd And if so, how are we going to do it?”

Again, a thoughtful silence settled around those gathered… before SETO leaned forward, his face lit with an idea.

“Yes… or at least attempt to anyway,” he said.

Everyone looked at him like he grew another head. “Erm… Seto…” Jonouchi began.

Seto rested a hand on his boyfriend’s knee. “I’m mildly curious to see if it can be done or not,” he continued. “Not only that, but I can’t get that mental image out of my head.” He tossed Jonouchi a withering glare before continuing again, “Besides, I have a plan which, depending on how Bakura reacts to it, will leave everyone happy in the long run…”

~.oOOo.~

Yugi sighed as he stood outside the pharaoh’s oddly quiet room, wondering how he got conned into things like this. Though, he had to admit, Seto’s plan was brilliant… assuming they could even get it to the point where it could work properly. For the past week, Atemu had only left his room for the necessities: food, bathroom, and school. According to Ryou, Bakura had not even left his room at their place for that much, not that the teachers missed the tomb robber. If neither of them could get their yamis to come out… well, all that plotting they did would have been a total waste.

Mustering up a bit of courage, Yugi reached out and rapped twice on the door before opening it. Atemu was slouched in front of his computer, hunting and pecking at the keyboard as he attempted to do his homework from the day before, though it did not look like his heart was really into it. A length of wire that could only be a pair of ear bud headphones connected him to the computer, and even from the doorway, Yugi could hear some kind of music blaring from them.

Smiling to himself, Yugi crept up behind his darker half… leaning down near one ear…

“YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR HEARING LIKE THAT!!!”

Atemu sprang up into the air like a cat, missing the chair on the way down and crashing rather ungracefully to the ground, his headphones getting torn from his ears somewhere in the middle of all that. Yugi backed away, giggling, even though the pharaoh was focusing a death glare at him.

“Aibou, was that really necessary?” he asked.

Yugi just grinned impishly. “Yes.”

Atemu sighed in exasperation, before making an attempt to crawl back onto his seat. He did not get much of a chance however, as Yugi helped haul him up to his feet, brushing him off as he did so.

“C’mon, aibou, this is due when we get back…” the pharaoh protested, giving his little on an amused look.

“I know, we’re in the same class, remember?” Yugi replied. “Or have you been spacing out too much lately to realize this?”

Atemu gave him an apologetic look. “Gomen…”

Yugi just grinned. “C’mon, we’re getting out of this house. Kaiba-kun is holding a party at his mansion, and I’m dragging you with me even if I have to tie you up first.”

He poked him in the chest for emphasis. Atemu just sweatdropped.

“I… don’t think that’s a good idea, aibou…” he protested. “In case you forgot, Kaiba wants to get in my pants…”

Yugi cocked his head to the side, thoughtful. “I wouldn’t say IN your pants…” he replied. “More like he wants to rip your pants OFF…”

Atemu smacked the palm of his hand to his forehead, hardly believing that had just come out of his hikari’s mouth. Yugi giggled, taking that opportunity to grab his other hand and start tugging him out the door. He stumbled, obviously debating pulling away.

“C’mon, mou hitori no boku!” Yugi encouraged, giving his arm a good tug. “You’ve been cooped up in here for too long. It’s about time you had some fun.”

Atemu gulped slightly, but followed him away. Though… he could not help but wonder if the double meaning of that statement was intended or not…

~.oOOo.~

Bakura snarled quietly to himself as he hid in plain sight as far away from the other partygoers, wondering how Ryou had managed to convince him in coming to the Kaiba Mansion in the first place. Surely the fact that he would have never spoken to him again was not THAT threatening… though, admittedly, he probably would not have cared being at the mansion as much if it were not for a certain spiky haired menace sitting on another couch on the opposite end of the room…

Atemu tried to keep himself preoccupied with the book he had managed to purloin from his room before Yugi had dragged him off. It was a bit difficult though, considering he knew Bakura was sitting only a few feet away from him on the other side of the room. Maybe he should not have come; he just could not trust himself anymore while the tomb robber was around.

He closed his book and was about to get up, when his hikari practically jumped onto his lap. The pharaoh fell back against the couith ith an “OUF!” of surprise.

“Now, just WHY aren’t you having any fun?”

Atemu looked up at his hikari… before he stopped, looking at the item clutched in his hand, his eyes widening somewhat. Was that… a fudgecicle?! Who the heck was stupid enough to give his hikari chocolate; especially FROZEN chocolate?!

“I’m… reading,” he replied, eyeing the frozen treat warily.

Yugi giggled, before bopped him on the nose with the chocolate. “Reading what?”

Frowning disapprovingly, Atemu reached up to swipe the chocolate blotch left behind. “Something for school.”

“Really?” Yugi asked, bopping his nose with the fudgecicle again, before leaning forward to lick the chocolate off. “Find anything good?”

Atemu’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. Just what was he…? “Not… really…”

Yugi grinned a bit impishly, before reaching down to the pharaoh’s lap… and snatching the book away.

“So why bother reading it…?” he asked, his voice a husky whisper that sent a small shiver up the pharaoh’s spine. Yugi shuffled a little closer, practically straddling him as he idly drew a line of chocolate along his cheekbones. Atemu shifted a bit in his seat in response, silently cursing the fact that leather pants were too tight for this sort of thing.

“I, um…” he tried to say. “I… was trying… to read up… a bit… on history…”

“Oh…? Find anything…?” Yugi whispered, leaning closer to lick up the chocolate trail he had left. Atemu bit the inside of his mouth to try and keep himself under control. There were people around after all…

“N-not really,” he said, stuttering slightly.

Yugi’s impish grin turned a bit devilish. “So why bother reading it…?” he asked, using the fudgecicle to trace his yami’s lips.

Atemu went to unconsciously lick his lips, and that was when his hikari attacked, pressing himself close as he kissed him hungrily. The pharaoh’s eyes widened noticeably, before his eyes started to slip close. Maybe… he could finally forget about…

As soon as his eyes were closed, the image of his sweet hikari was replaced by the sinister face of the tomb robber, looking down at him with lust-laden eyes…

Atemu’s eyes snapped open in surprise, his hands reaching out and png Yng Yugi away from him. He sat there a moment, gasping for air, oblivious to the concerned look on his hikari’s face. After a moment, he looked over to him, a bit of a guilty look on his face.

“Gomen… aibou, but I…” he began. “I… can’t…”

Atemu looked away, shaking his head, before he got up from his seat, leaving his book and hikari behind… and missing the sly smile that had appeared on Yugi’s face. Bakura did not miss it across the way, however. A frown creased his face as he watched Atemu approach Kaiba. Words were exchanged before a grateful look appeared on the pharaoh’s face. He headed off for the stairs, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Bakura was watching him… or the hungry look in Kaiba’s eyes.

Bakura scoffed, reaching over to grab the drink he had purloined before going off to hide. Idiot pharaoh; was he too stupid to know he was being set up? He took a sip from his drink… just as a shadow fell over him. He glared up to see Kaiba hovering over him, one of those annoying smirks on his face.

“What the hell do you want?” he demanded, not in the mood to deal with his or anyone else’s crap.

That damned smirk of his got more confident. “To make a deal with you,” he replied, before his eyes narrowed dangerously. “When it comes to the pharaoh, I don’t like competition, and you, Bakura, are a rather stubborn thorn in my side.”

Bakura glared dangerously. “I don’t give a shit about your damn conquest,” he snapped. “You want his highness-ness, you can have him.”

Seto chuckled darkly as the tomb robber kept up his glare, ignoring the pang that hit his heart at his own words.

“Don’t care, hum…?” Kaiba returned. “Is that why you were sucking his face off in the park?”

Bakura stood up, irritated. “I don’t –”

“I’m offering you a deal, tomb robber,” Seto snarled, looming over him dangerously. “Shut up and listen to it.”

Bakura continued to glare at him, but he did not move.

“That’s better,” Seto continued, that smirk of his back. “He whom you so crudely refer to as ‘his highness-ness’ has just gone upstairs to take a, as he put it, VERY cold shower. If that’s not a good set-up, I don’t know what is.”

The tomb robber raised an eyebrow. “Just what are you getting at?”

“I’ll spell it out for you, ‘tomb robber’,” Kaiba continued mockingly. “There are three possible ways that you can walk away from this deal… two ways lead to success, and one way leads to failure.” He held up a finger. “One, you go up there, do whatever the hell you want to do, and end up walking away with a boyfriend.” He held up another finger. “Two, you go up there, fuck Atemu senseless, and end up walking away with enough dirt to throw in his face for a few years.” His smirk turned a bit sadistic as he held up a third finger. “Or three, you walk away empty handed, and I have Atemu all to myself…”

Bakura’s lip twitched slightly, but that was the only visible reaction he had. On the inside, his mind was warring between punching Kaiba’s lights out for daring to speak to him in such a manner, to actually accepting this stupid little deal of his. The former option gave him a very good excuse to leave this pathetic party early – which, he was getting the sinking suspicion that the whole point of it was to set the two of them up – but the latter option…

The latter option…

“Fine, moneybags,” he snapped, “I’ll take you up on your stupid deal.”

“Humph…” Seto replied, that smirk never leaving his face. “I knew you would,” he continued confidently, before waving up toward the stairs. “Fifth door on the right. You can’t miss it.”

“Tch.”

Bakura gave one last good glare, before stalking toward the stairs, heading up to whatever awaited him up there. Kaiba waited till he was out of sight, before letting out a brief laugh, falling on the couch the tomb robber had previously occupied. Jonouchi shook his head, going over to join his boyfriend as Marik looked up from where he was playing Duel Monsters with Ryou.

“You know, Kaiba…” the Egyptian began as Jonouchi sat down, “you’re a bitch.”

Seto pulled Jonouchi onto his lap. “Well, I do like men…”