I Never Should Have Left

YRE: =B Uh… I have no excuse for not having updated this fic earlier. Got lazy & forgot about it, I suppose ^^;;; I still sorta remember what it is I wanted to happen with this fic, so I’ll try to flesh it out again.

Disclaimer: YRE owns nothing but the demented plot and tendency to procrastinate for long periods of time…

Warnings: For this chapter- Partial Lemon and… uh… confusion XD Pairings not yet set, but goal is YY/K or YY/Y x.x;; We’ll see how it goes.

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~2 Years Earlier~

“…O-oh Gods… Mmnh…”

His back was arched clear off the bed, body taut and trembling with every wave of nearly excruciating pleasure, scarlet eyes dulled with euphoria as every strike within his body caused sparks of unbridled lust to rattle his slender frame to the core.

“Ngh… Harder… G-gods! Please…”

The normally authoritarian voice was riddled with trembling submission and blind want, hips rising to buck into each thrust, increasing the force of his lover’s violent jerks, and moaning appreciatively in a loud, guttural note.

“Please, please, please...”

Fingers tangled in the silky locks of the head above him, Yami barely managed to murmur coherent phrases any more as he simply keened and tugged the hikari down into a feral kiss, lips willingly parting as the slicked warmth of a tongue insisted on thrusting at the spirit’s mouth hungrily.

Needing.

Claiming.

Wanting.

“Ah… Mmmm… Yessss…”

And with a final drawled out moan, fingernails digging into the other’s scalp as Yami shuddered in ecstasy, an array of shockwaves pummeled his lithe body as he released between them. Strangled gasps accompanied the pleasure of the Egyptian boy filling the once-Pharaoh within another few thrusts, both orgasms shared and cherished between them with passing words and mingling breaths.

There were several moments of near silence; pants for air the only sounds they emitted aside from the soft kisses they peppered amongst sweat sheeted skin.

This was nice.

A mewled yawn escaped Yami as he squirmed closer to the other once Malik had removed himself from the royal body, a faint ache left from the more than obvious emptiness, but he could care less about that now as he situated himself against the boy’s chest and smiled like a fool. They hadn’t been together long, a month or two actually, although the freelance sex had been going on for quite some time before that, the grounds for a relationship having formed only once they both realized they could stand each other’s company outside of the bedroom.

Or living room.

Or kitchen…

…Or any other place with an available flat surface, horizontal or vertical, they weren’t particularly picky.

The low breath brushing against the top of his head nabbed his attention, and Yami blinked up in slight amusement as he took in the softened features of the Egyptian’s face while he slept. Nimble fingertips traced the inked patterns just beside closed lavender eyes, following the contours of the boy’s cheekbone, and lightly curving over the minutely parted lips.

An uncharacteristic purr rolled free from the Pharaoh’s throat, scarlet eyes becoming unfocused and lidding heavily when the tip of his finger was drawn into the warm, dark mouth. Teeth scratched over the comparatively paler skin as the digit was taken in further, Malik’s tongue doing sinful things even in his less than alert state of mind.

“Yami!”

Said spirit’s eyes suddenly snapped open amazingly wide, darting to look at the screaming numbers on the digital clock across the room.

“I’m home!”

4:35

“Can you come help me a sec?”

“Kuso!” It was hissed, of course, seeing as how Yami wished to avoid drawing his hikari’s attention up the stairs, a mix of other swears uttered while he untangled himself from the tanned arms encasing him so he could reach the door. “Hai, Aibou! I’ll be right down!” He called it through the crack of the door he dared to make, quickly shutting it again, and bolting the lock securely as he tripped through his room to grab a pair of pants, a struggle erupting as his leg refused to slide within the sheen leather immediately. “Malik, wake up! Yuugi’s home.”

“Mmnghm…”

“Baka… Get up!” A smack to the head with a fallen pillow managed to rouse the Egyptian, drowsy, half-annoyed lavender glowering at the Pharaoh. “Did you hear me? Yuugi’s-”

“I heard…” Mumbled along with a yawn, Malik shrugged casually as he flipped to lie on his stomach, blinking slowly before he shut his eyes once more. “…Jus’… don’t care…”

He really shouldn’t have expected anything other than such a response from his prone lover. Yami was the one left to worry about the exposure of their relationship while the Egyptian always rolled off any chances of being caught as though he didn’t care what the rest of Yuugi-tachi thought. Which was true actually, and no matter how often the Pharaoh preached to him just how important it was no one found out the ancient spirit was bedding his tomb-keeper, Malik always found a way to turn the rant into a rabid make-out session, which quite often resulted in Yami having a sore throat and ass.

Because, as Malik had so eloquently stated, the Pharaoh was a screamer, and he liked it rough.

Such a frivolous thing aside, the reason behind the secret keeping made enough sense to Yami; he couldn’t risk his name’s association with such openly risqué activities. Of course he had his own body now to do with as he pleased, but all the perks of being human and so very much alive with long withheld impulses and hormones had suddenly bombarded the spirit in a barrage of newfound, puberty-high, like cravings.

To be quite honest, sometimes he made himself blush with the activities he and Malik took part in, nearly always suggested by the Pharaoh as he came to appreciate the kinkier ideas of the pornographic magazines his fellow yamis had maliciously dropped off at the Mutou mailbox. Unbeknownst to anyone other than his lover, Yami had merely feigned the enraged outburst at the other darks so everyone would leave him alone to ‘cool down’. In all truth, the time he had been given was his planned opportunity to flip in wonder through the X-rated material, eyes wide in appreciation as he absorbed every detail and later enacted the situations with the Egyptian, who was wonderfully compliant, although at times more impulsive and more interested in ‘just getting to the sex part’.

All together, the Pharaoh simply didn’t wish for anyone to know of his rampant hunger, it was flat out embarrassing, and he wished for nothing more than to be able to manage his urges, mostly because he feared one day he would somehow unintentionally harm his precious hikari.

“Yami?”

The soft knocking on the door startled the spirit enough to cause him to fall over while coaxing his second leg through his pants, the pang on his ass going ignored as Yami zipped up and scrambled back to his feet while a button-up shirt was quickly slipped on.

“Hai, Aibou?” The spirit looked impeccable, save for the lack of socks or shoes, once he reached and opened the door, smiling at his hikari warmly, and even draping an arm around the boy’s shoulders as he guided them away from the door once it was shut behind Yami.

The slightly shorter male blinked and fought back a faint flush as he rested his head against the rise of his dark’s chest, poking along the yami’s ribs with a playful intonation. “You having a party in there you’re trying to hide? I heard you fall on your way out.”

“Nonsense.” Chuckles sprouted forth, effectively hiding the strained note of guilt at having to lie to the boy while Yami led them down the flight of stairs to reach the kitchen and unload the groceries. “I just… tripped.”

“Tripped… ?” The speculation in Yuugi’s voice lacked judgment, but the boy couldn’t help but overlook his darkness’s appearance more closely, raising a brow to the bare feet, and saying nothing as he aligned his gaze with the spirit’s.

“Yes, if you only knew the clutter I live amongst, Aibou. Why do you think I’m ashamed to invite you in?” A dazzling smile, because the spirit knew just what it did to his hikari, and the matter was as good as forgotten when the petit boy beside him giggled and shook his head in mock exasperation. “Now, let’s put away what you’ve brought home and we can begin dinner, Grandpa shall be home soon, and I’m famished.”

By the time they had finished their meal and chores, both Mutous agreed to watch a movie to draw out their evening together, Yami having to escape to his room once or twice for short segments of time before he seemed at complete ease, the shorter of the pair not questioning it terribly since his dark tended to act like this more often than not, and as odd as it was, Yuugi never intruded. Their quality time together was common practice, both comfortably curled against one another in a way that mimicked a hybrid relationship of brothers and lovers, although nothing more than an overly affectionate cuddle ever came from one or the other, usually initiated by the lighter half of the two souls… for personal, secreted reasons.

“Aibou…” He had caught the muffled yawn that escaped the hikari, Yami mimicking the action against his will, and chuckling at the pouting expression that was turned up at him from his lap. “No, you know the rules, Aibou. A yawn signifies your bedtime.”

“I’m too old for a bedtime, Yami!” Amethyst eyes blinked pleadingly at the spirit, adorable pout jutting the boy’s lip out as Yuugi clung and gently tugged upon the other’s shirt.

“Grandpa’s rules are to be abided even when he is asleep, Aibou.” An arch of his brow, daring the boy to go against his grandfather’s sacred word, and a firm point to the stairs was enough to get Yuugi to groan and sit up.

Stretching and yanking his climbing, rebel shirt back down, the boy sighed and pouted further when he yawned again, wagging his finger at the spirit to keep him from chastising Yuugi further. “You should go to bed too, I know you won’t sleep right away, but the TV will keep me up since you never lower the volume enough.”

“I apologize for that, Aibou. But I will take your suggestion and go to bed as well, I promised to meet Malik in the morning to help him at the museum while Isis is away.” Yami stood and shut the television off, ruffling his own hair as well as his light’s when he wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulder.

Giggling softly, Yuugi still couldn’t help but purse his lips together in thought, eyes flitting up at the spirit’s handsome face as they climbed hip-to-hip up the stairs. “Yami…?...” The Pharaoh’s charming smile and nod of head stated Yami’s acknowledgment, Yuugi suddenly finding the buttons along the dark’s shirt fascinating as he picked at them idly. “I don’t want to… I mean… Not that anyone’s really said anything… but you know how Jou and Honda are… I kinda thought it too… Not that I would mind… You can like who you want… And I wish it was… But I guess it would be weird…”

The half-sentences made just about as much sense had the boy spoken in a foreign language, scarlet eyes blinking in puzzlement before he paused them at the top of the stairs and gently grasped the hikari’s shoulders, leaning down just enough so their eyes would be level. “Yuugi…” Yami waited until the still mumbling boy took a small breath and met his gaze, minute blush tinting the light’s cheeks as their noses nearly brushed. “I don’t quite grasp what it is you’re telling or asking me, Aibou.”

“…Malik…” The spirit blinked slowly, scarlet depths wavering a fraction of a second before steeling and waiting for the boy to continue, grip tightening a sliver on Yuugi’s shoulders, unnoticed by both as they were preoccupied by their own worries. “We… I… was wondering… um… do you… like him?” As soon as he said it, Yuugi’s hands immediately flew to his mouth, petit fingers covering his lips as he blushed brightly. “Oh Gods. That’s too personal. I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have asked. Jounouchi and Honda told me I should! It’s just that you’re always meeting with him on your own, and I you always have reason to, but he only seems to hang around with us if you’re there, and you both get along quite well recently. And I’m still talking about it! Oh Gods, don’t hate me, Yami, I’ll never ask agai-”

Yuugi was cut off by a gentle pressure against his lips that turned out to be the darker half’s finger, and the boy gulp, which he was certain ended up being more audible than he intended. Links on either side of their minds were bolted shut, thoughts and emotions holed up privately as each tried to sort through the tangle of words and excuses, nervousness pressing up against the blocks as they wondered why the other had done the same.

Certainly they couldn’t both be guilty of facades?

“I could never hate you, Aibou.” Yami’s tone had taken on a firm ring, eyes locked solidly with his hikari’s while he continued. “We are essentially one. Never forget that I love you. Don’t ever let anything, or anyone make you doubt that, alright?” The tears that prickled the edges of Yuugi’s eyes were out of adoration and joy, the boy twisting the words in his mind and heart to suit his fantasies as they churned within him. “Now… as for Malik…” He took a breath and his cheeks puffed out a moment as Yami gave a pensive expression, smiling softly when he finally shook his head as though the very idea of he and the Egyptian being together was as ridiculous as thoughts came. “I can assure you that we meet solely for business, and while we have adapted friendlier grounds to acknowledge each other by, nothing more than a placid acquaintanceship has developed between Malik and myself.”

They were both prepared for the silence to follow, the shorter of the two taking in a slow breath, and finally smiling at his darker half once the dizzying feeling in the pit of his stomach subsided. A thrill was coursing through his mind and heart.

So, Yami wasn’t interested in the young Ishtar? Not that he was excited about that in particular, because what kind of hikari would he be if he jealously tried to keep his yami inhibited from relationships aside from friendships? But Yuugi found it enlightening and quite momentous in terms of opportunity, to have it confirmed that his darker half was uninterested in Malik; perhaps Yami wasn’t into the blatantly sexy individuals? Maybe the Pharaoh liked innocence and simpering smiles rather than exotica and flaunting?

Who know, but Yami himself of course, but the petit duelist’s hopes had risen, and now Yuugi couldn’t wipe the giddy grin off his face as he wondered what future attempts at gaining the spirit’s greater attention and higher level love could attain.

“I love you too, Yami.” The hug he presented the spirit was heartfelt, the peck on the cheek nothing different from his normal routine, except this time Yuugi honestly wished he could hang on for a fraction longer, claim kisses against his dark’s mouth, and not have to go to bed alone. “And I’m glad you are friends with Malik, maybe you’ll get him to open up with the rest of us too? Either way, no matter who you end up liking… like that… I hope you tell me about them.” A slight blush spread on the boy’s cheeks as he giggled at the taller, another indulgent kiss placed on the spirit’s cheek as Yuugi pulled away and walked backwards toward his bedroom. “I am your ‘Aibou’, after all, and I should know about your crushes… You can trust me with such secrets, Mou Hitori no Boku. I trust you with all of mine…” Another smile, this one serene and warm as Yuugi nodded at the darkness and retreated into his room, “G’night, Yami.”

“Ah… hai… Good night, Aibou…” The Pharaoh was left to blink after his light, shaking his head with a weary chuckle once the boy had shut his door.

He didn’t deserve Yuugi, one with such a kind and large heart needed another half to match. Then again, their polar characteristics were becoming clearer as time went by, the only difference between how things had been and how they were now was that Yami was the only one aware of their differences. He was the one developing the shameful fetishes and dirty daydreams, some of which were so terrible, he had scared himself into keeping his side of the mindlink shut much more often than not lest his hikari accidentally tumble into such a plethora of disgusting thoughts.

Perhaps in actuality, the Pharaoh was beginning to fulfill his duty, becoming the darker, tainted half of an otherwise unblemished soul, in a manner Yami himself couldn’t have suspected.

The plague of darker thoughts began to bombard his mind, Yami shutting his eyes and heading for his own room down the hall, palms clammy as degrading murmurs in his head rose in volume and refused to diminish until he clasped the knob to his door and entered in a quick dash, chest flaring as he tried to quell the negativity coursing through his veins from self-hatred.

“You lied to him, flat out…”

Back pressed against his hastily shut door, Yami shuddered and curled a fist into his hair, the loathing that usually subsided after several moments of secluded darkness not aiding him this time. There was no excuse for it, he had told himself that should Yuugi ever directly ask him about any hints of a relationship with the devious Ishtar, he would tell him the truth, or at least what he deemed appropriate enough for his light to hear. Apologies for the secretiveness would have been issued, and eventually, he had hoped at least, Yuugi would have forgiven him, as it was in his nature, and congratulated the dark for forming deeper relationships with others than just the shorter duelist.

“…Filthy liar… He won’t forgive you now…”

Having slumped to the ground, Yami’s eyes dulled a deeper shade than what they usually were, the scarlet bleeding into ebony vacuity as he stared at the ground, unfixed on anything as thoughts crept by and stole another sliver of hope. He had lied to his Aibou, lied! And for what? So he could keep up his promiscuous ways with Malik? The very person who had none too long ago sworn to destroy every one of Yuugi-tachi for the glory of crowning himself the new Pharaoh?

All based on lies and later more dementia as the boy’s darker counterpart had proven upon revealing himself, but at least Marik hadn’t lied, not even to his own hikari. No, unlike Yami, Marik had been concocted of deceit and anguish, he couldn’t help what he thought, much less did, but over time even the Egyptian yami had curved his psychotic personality enough to live somewhat peacefully among society, blatantly honest to the point it hurt.

Who Marik fucked and was fucked by was well known by the entire group, he had no qualms about sharing his sexual stories, willing enough to even demonstrate should he find a compliant partner at any given moment, and if Bakura was ever near, then an exhibitionistic performance was guaranteed to unveil itself. The point of the matter was that Yami considered himself worse off than either of the other two yamis, despite being strong at heart and mind, he was hopelessly weak when it came to opening himself to even his closest of friends, those who could understand his predicament were he to muster the courage to simply talk about the confusion he was pummeled with constantly.

Sex.

That’s all his life revolved around now, when he would next succeed in stealing away private time to ransack his lover in bed, sneaking out late at night at times to meet and taste and shamefully part his legs for Malik, and should either of their homes be cluttered by the presence of others, then the park would do, cheap motels had even become their Wednesday night spot for a good while now.

Anything, everything, all of it, Yami craved it like the sick drug it was. The most horrid thought of it all had only just recently come to surface in his mind, realized and contemplated when one day Malik had cancelled their rendezvous due to an unanticipated visit from his sister.

Yami didn’t necessary need it from Malik anymore.

When he had realized that the young Ishtar would be held up for several days tending to Isis’ every need for the time she was in Domino, the Pharaoh had felt such frustration, tension, and utter starvation for his dose of sexual satisfaction, that Yami had walked out in the middle of the night in search for a local, sleazy bar, congregation center for all who wished for a one night fix of fucking to gratify any and all perversions.

That night, and several after since then, had been put to full use, to say the very least.

“…You… whore… Lying, dirty, whore…”

Everything seemed to be crumbling around him, and not just metaphorically. At some point between wallowing in his vindictive thoughts, Yami had tapped into the Puzzle’s powers, a shroud of darkness encasing his body and slowly seeping throughout his room. Self-loathing had manifested itself into crushing shadows, ancient rage laced with newfound disgust thrashing about the room and wrecking havoc on what meager materialistic items lay scattered. Everything he felt like doing, from tossing aside mementos and scattering furniture, was done without a single movement of his physical body, all storming emotions doing the task for him as the curls of shadows broke and shattered nearly everything within the spirit’s room, leaving only a picture of both Mutous intact.

He had failed Yuugi, become something even the hikari could not cleanse with his half of a soul. There was little the boy could do to salvage the filth Yami had become, it was up to the spirit to reassemble what pieces he had lost of himself, but such a task would take time and space… for however long and however far away from his Aibou as it would take.

It would be painful and heart wrenching, but necessary. He wouldn’t’ allow himself to taint the boy throughout the spirit’s rehabilitative measures, Yami wasn’t sure what it would entail, but any risk was more than he was willing to allow.

Dulled scarlet blinked slowly as he looked up, unfocused and blind to the mess that had become his room. Mechanical movements eventually brought him to his bedside, a scrap of paper and pen in his hand, attained by an unknown step as Yami simply sat and gazed at the salvaged picture on his nightstand, a rush of tears blurring the photo as shaky hands traced the image of his hikari tenderly.

Yuugi loved him; he had stated such only moments before, and all the hurt his darkness was about to bestow on him would later be repented, of that Yami was certain of. The spirit knew that despite all the self-corruptive paths he had already taken, and would more than likely be tempted with in the coming quest for personal salvation, Yami loved his hikari just as much, if not more for reasons that lacked the words for proper expression.

He scanned the devastation around him, expression empty as tears receded once more, and nothing save for a quivering breath escaped him. Even his cards had fallen victim, mulched it seemed and then painstakingly arranged on the ground to look whole, how wonderfully representative of his feelings. So many pieces at once and yet compiled into an acceptable mask without anyone’s second glance to note just how truly irreparable the desolation was.

Shutting his eyes, Yami fought against the impending tears that pricked at the corner of his eyes, the attempt futile as he watched his hand begin to lead the pen across the paper before him, the words forming without his consent, and yet all the rambled truth was there, half hidden to keep more pain than was necessary from coming forth.

Yuugi,

I’m not sure what to write.

I’m not sure why I’m doing this.

By the time Yami finished the letter, he was dulled with sleeplessness, drowning in his sorrow that insisted on streaking over his cheeks, a ragged hiccup torn from a sob retched throat as the Pharaoh allowed the shadows to take him from his room and home, pen dropping to the ground as no one was left to hold it, the empty echo of a spirit’s whisper left to accompany the hikari’s awaited awakening.

“Never forget that I love you…”

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YRE: x.x;; Too long. Argh! So, yeah… that’s what led up to Yami’s departure, just a bunch of emotions finally catching up to him, because he’s a dirty, dirty boy- er… dead, spirit thing XD Shut up, I forgot the original reason over the course of the past year.

Thanks:

~Sansi: Thank you very much ^^ And yeah, next chapter should focus on him coming home finally.

~Deb: x.x;; Yeah, kinda killed the ‘update soon’ part, ne? XD But thank you very much.

~Kat: ^^ Glad you thought so.

~silent angel: LoL, obviously he lied about the world traveling, ne? XD I dunno, we’ll see if he can explain himself later. Thank you.

~Blue: Gah, I did this to you before with that other fic, but this time around, I –seriously- doubt you’re still around to see this update. Regardless, thank you, and if you really are still here, I will personally promise it’ll be a YYxK just for you XD;; Because I can twist this sucker as I damn well please, and I’m all for any pairing, honestly.

~Sethos: Thank you ^^ Wow… I do hope you did sleep between last and this update. Otherwise I’d feel terrible oo;;

~nife: ^^ I’m happy you thought so.

~Lamara-chan: Your review really was the inspiration for what shall later occur, although the coupling is still up in the air, your idea is quite nifty =B *snags portions of it* XD Thank you!

~Lila: LoL, I just may have to do that XD Thank you for the review.

~m0vi3ang3l: I emailed you, I believe XD;; I’ll thank you again though. *love* Your recent review motivated me to dust off this fic XD

YRE: omg, I don’t think any of my original reviewers are even alive anymore x.x;; Everything’s changed in the past year, and I’ve missed it all. Damn it. This is the bad part of procrastination T__T

Review though, please?... and then I promise I’ll update sooner =D I’ve been updating something once a week recently, so I’m not lying! Anywho, thank you for reading, much love for any comments ^^;;

~YamiRynEnjeru