Need

DragonBlade: Any writers in University? First year? If so, you’ll know what I’m going through. Class, sleep, class, sleep, sleep, get dragged out by friends, class, sleep, class, computer borrowed by friends …and so on and so forth. I’m rarely EVER alone, so I don’t have a hell of a lot of time to work on these …damn school! So, I’m writing a few chapters, and posting them all at once.

Kurai: Yeah, umm …It’s getting a bit worse …and I haven’t been writing for a while so my style might seem different, it’s just because I haven’t done it in so long and have lost my groove, lol. Be nice to the broke University student! Review!

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Chapter 3


~Do you really want to think and stop,
Stop your eyes from flowing out.
So you want the world to stop,
Rushing to watch your spirit fully drop~


Mokuba never usually despised the school day. The school was a place for him to talk to friends, as well as a get away from the house that felt to big without the presence of his brother.

Then again, this was no ordinary day.

Seto had promised Mokuba an answer that night, so Mokuba just wanted the school day to hurry up and end!

His friends noticed his anxiety; the nervous twirl of a pen, the thousands of little random doodles in the paper margin.
When they tried to question him, the small teen became flustered and brushed it off as Monday stress.


Mokuba looked up at the clock again for the fifth time in what felt to him like an hour.

9:35am

He had last looked at the clock at 9:30am, and then at 9:25am.
Mokuba swore the clock was slowing down just to spite him. He attempted to use his patent ‘Kaiba glare’ on the device …needless to say …it didn’t work.

“Mokuba, are you sure you’re alright?” Mokuba’s friend, Suki asked.

“Yeah, just fine!” He answered quickly.

“Then why are you trying to set the clock on fire?”

Mokuba chuckled nervously, “the hands were moving backwards!”

“Mhmm …right Kaiba.”

“They were!”

Suki rolled her eyes and playfully shoved Mokuba.

“Kaiba-sama! Ryoko-sama!” The teacher barked.

Both youth’s ducked in embarrassment, “gomen nasai Sensei,” they grinned at each other as the teacher turned her back.

When the final bell rang Mokuba practically steam-rolled the other students down as he rushed to his locker.
Tossing his textbooks and binders around, he zipped up his backpack and closed his locker before literally running from the school.
Of course, the limo was waiting for him, and of course, he was the only occupant.

The entire drive back to the Kaiba mansion Mokuba prayed that Seto would be there.

Alone.

“Master Mokuba!” The driver yelled as the raven-haired youth leapt out of the still moving vehicle – slowly moving vehicle, luckily.

Mokuba threw open the front doors, “nii-san!?” He shouted.

No answer.

“Nii-san!” He continued to shout as he barreled up the stairs to their bedrooms. He almost flattened the poor maid on the landing.

“Mokuba!” She gasped, ending in a laugh.

“Mina! Mina! Is my brother home?”

The maid lightly grabbed Mokuba’s arm to calm him down, “no chibi, he isn’t home yet.”

Mokuba let out a light sob, his gray eyes widening with unshed tears. The maid looked momentarily sympathetic; Seto never spent enough time with his younger brother, and they were the only family either one had left.

“Why don’t I get the kitchen staff to make you something?” She pet his cheek fondly.

“Ok, I guess.”

“Chocolate chip pancakes?”

Mokuba lit up slightly, “dozo!” He chirped.

Mina smiled and left for the kitchen.
Mokuba figured he could do his homework while he ate, hoping that his brother would be home soon.

Dinner passed and there was still no sign of his older brother. Mokuba hoped that he was simply held up at work; that happened often.

It wasn’t until Mokuba intended to go to bed that his doubts arose.

10:00pm and still no Seto.

Mokuba paced his room, to nervous to sleep.
A loud bang and two masculine voices startled him out of his thoughts.

The raven-haired teen peeked his head out the door, and his heart almost stopped.

Seto was pinned to his door, clutching at the muscular body grinding against him.

He moaned and the other male laughed, whispering seductively to him. Kaiba grabbed a handful of red hair and pulled the other male’s face to his own, kissing him roughly. The red head pulled away and moved down to Seto’s neck.

Mokuba let out a sob accidentally when Kaiba moaned and let his head fall back against the door.

The red head turned slightly, looking over his shoulder. His eyes met with Mokuba’a and the small teen clamped his hand over his mouth, startled at being caught.

The other male turned back around, quietly whispering, “we have an audience,” to Kaiba.

Seto’s head snapped up, his eyes widening, “Mokuba! Get in your room!”

To shocked to do otherwise, Mokuba slowly backed into his room, eyes downcast.
Mokuba stood silently at his door, head still bowed.

“His answer was no.”


The bedroom door was thrown open and the two males stumbled inside, clothes roughly ripped off. Buttons torn from shirts, belts ripped from pants. The two made it over to the bed, the red head shoving Kaiba down onto his back.
“Now be a good little bitch,” he growled seductively to Kaiba.


Mokuba paced his room, his hands fisted in his hair. His breathing was quick and erratic. Thoughts were quickly running through his mind, none forming coherent sentences.

How was he ever going to be able to face his older brother again?

The one that knew about his feelings, yet didn’t return them.

Was it because he was too young?
Was it because they were siblings?
Was he inadequate in some way?

Mokuba wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything to get rid of the pain burning in his chest.

He raked his nails over the left side of his chest, tearing skin.

Tears began to fall faster and harder with the more blood he drew from his own body.

Scratching himself didn’t help; his pain was too great.

He started pulling roughly at his own hair, biting his arms, scratching the tender insides of his upper arms …but nothing helped to dull the pain.

He felt his throat tightening with the need to scream, but he couldn’t. Seto would hear.
The scream rumbled in the bottom of his throat as he pulled at his hair again, long black strands plucked by the force of his fingers.

The pain was too much. The physical trauma not even realized by his nerves.

He paced back and forth again, whimpering a single word.

Why?

His mind finally snapped when the screams of ecstasy reached his room.

He couldn’t handle it.
The humiliation, the knowledge, none of it …he couldn’t deal with it.

He remembered the events of the night before.
Did Seto even realize it was him he was pleasuring? Or was his mind still clouded from his previous lay?

He couldn’t take it. Seto wanted to forget it, but he never could.

Memories couldn’t be stopped …

Or could they?

He stripped down to his boxers and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

He turned the water on in the bathtub while he rummaged around in the cupboard under the sink. He tossed things behind him until he found what he was looking for; the black handled razor his brother had bought him.

For when he was a man …was that why Seto didn’t like him? Because he still looked like a child?

Mokuba wiped furiously at the tears; no more, he couldn’t do this any longer.

He removed his boxers and stepped into the tub, turning off the water and settling down.

Without a second thought he broke the small razor blades from the plastic handle, his fingers sprinkled with blood from the sharp edges.

Starting at his wrist, he drew the razor down with shaky fingers towards his elbow.


Kaiba lay staring out his window as his one-night partner rustled around looking for his clothes.

“Oi, Kaiba,” the male started.

“Hn?” He turned to regard the other male, wondering why he wasn’t just leaving like they all usually did.

“I know this isn’t my place, but you might want to go check on your little brother, he looked pretty damn upset when you told him to leave. Like I said, this ain’t my place, but I have a little sister and I can’t stand to see her upset,” the male looked sincerely worried.

Kaiba nodded, remembering the look on Mokuba’s face.

The other finished dressing and quietly left the large dark room, knowing his way out of the mansion.

Once the footsteps of his one night stand became inaudible Kaiba jumped from his bed, not bothering with the clothes he had previously been wearing and grabbing a pair of boxers and a white undershirt from his wardrobe.

He dashed out into the hall and down to his brother’s room.

Knocking on the door received no response.

Kaiba knocked again, knowing well that Mokuba didn’t deal with stress and rejection well.

Rejection?

Why?

Kaiba pressed his fists to his temples; now was not the time to think about that!
Make sure Mokuba is all right; THEN figure out why you rejected him!

Another loud knock.

Still no response.

Kaiba attempted to open the door, only to find it locked.
He pressed his ear to the door and heard only silence.
Jerking the door once, he growled and threw his weight against the door, busting it open.

Mokuba was nowhere to be seen.

At first Kaiba felt foolish, but the light creeping out from under the bathroom door sent him running.

He crossed the room and attempted to open the door, calling out his brother’s name.

No response.

No response!

Locked doors, silence.

Kaiba tugged at his hair before throwing his weight against the solid wooden door.

The door swung open and his heart stopped.

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DragonBlade: Okay, This is what I mean by ‘scenario that I haven’t seen’. I have never read a fic where Kaiba refuses Mokuba. That doesn’t mean they aren’t out there, that just means I haven’t found any.
And I’ve had a shitty-ass time so this is kind of reflective of that.
Yeah, ever been on suicide watch? Not fun!