Sexual Frustration

Ryou was suspicious as soon as he laid eyes on the Teddy Ruxpin. However, he decided to keep his comments to himself, for once, and hoped for the best.

“So Ryou, are we making chocolate or vanilla today?” Leon asked innocently, clutching his Teddy Ruxpin to his chest tightly.

“We’re… making… vanilla.” The light haired boy responded slowly. He was trying hard not to be suspicious. Really, he was.

“Goodie goodie gumdrops!” Leon smiled and began to open the package of vanilla cake mix. (Yes, it’s VANILLA cake! Not white. Not yellow. Vanilla!)

“Say Leon…” Ryou began, edging the question in casually. “…don’t you think you’re a bit old to still be playing with a Teddy Ruxpin?”

“No!” Leon exclaimed defiantly. “He’s special to me, precious even. I wouldn’t trade him for the world!”

“This is starting to sound familiar…” Ryou sighed, assuming early that he would end up making the cake on his own.

Suddenly, an evil Cinderella threw two glass slippers through Malik’s kitchen window at them! Ryou managed to dodge it with his horrible physical skills, but Leon had no such luck…. 300 direct lifepoint damage!!!

The boy bobbled around the kitchen in a daze for a few minutes. Meanwhile, Ryou raised a small crop of figs. He wanted to make fig pudding, but found that most of them were stolen. Saddened, he returned to the kitchen.

“Woah that was weird. Hey Ryou, where does Malik keep his electric mixer? I don’t think we can blend this together very well by hand.” Leon said, finally done bobbling around.

“I think it’s in the pantry, you’ll just have to push Pegasus aside for a second. Be careful, sometimes he bites if he’s agitated.” Ryou warned.

Leon was able to get past the Pegasus guard with success! He plugged in the mixer and was about to set it’s blades down into the gooey mess of cake mix when he suddenly heard the most beautiful singing he had ever laid ears on.

“That voice… who is singing?” The boy wondered outloud.

Leeeeeeooooonnnnn~ Come with me! Like a spring flower in bloom!~ Sang the voice again, the dulcet melody echoing off his eardrums.

“Is it you Ryou?” Leon turned to his friend, but found that Ryou was simply staring at him with his mouth agape. “No I guess not.”

Oh Leeeeoooonnn~ Won’t you be my warrior? Protect me and I’ll protect you!~ The singing continued, the melodious voice taunting him.

Finally Leon realized what it was, and his eyes glowed like a nuclear reactor core! “Oh my darling! You have such a beautiful voice! The Teddy Ruxpin could never compare!” He set the fuzzy bear on the countertop and hugged his love to his small chest.

The electric mixer.

Yes yes Leeeeooooonnnn!~ The mixer spun it’s paddles, one clockwise, one counterclockwise, to entrance the boy. It purred seductively, rumbling softly in Leon’s arms. Oh baby yes! Just you and me!~

Suddenly, something attacked him from behind! Something soft and fuzzy, speaking calmly of fairytale stories.

“T-Teddy Ruxpin? What are you doing? I’ve already found my love, I don’t need you anymore.” Leon cast a disapproving look at the bear, but it would not listen.

No! Just because you’ve found someone new, you can’t forget about me! What about all those times we shared? Those moments you said you would cherish forever? The Teddy Ruxpin wept. What about my feelings and pain?!! Don’t you care at all?!!

Don’t listen to him Leeeeooonnn!~ The electric mixer sang in warning! It jumped, trying to knock the desolate bear off of Leon. It’s just trying to trick you!~

“I… I don’t know who to believe!” The boy clutched his hands to his head. Before he could do anything else, the electrical appliances had begun to undress him, each showing Leon why it was the best choice.

Ryou sighed and began to make the cake by himself. “Well, there he goes. I knew I shouldn’t have invited anyone over to Malik’s house.”

Teddy Ruxpin ripped Leon’s shirt off, still clinging to his back, whispering in a loud voice Leon’s favorite fairytales. “…but in her haste, Cinderella left behind a single glass slipper…” He cooed, rubbing a furry paw up and down Leon’s back.

Huffing, furious at the intrusion, the electric mixer stripped the rest of the clothing off little Leon. It began to jingle and frolic merrily, enticing the boy with its tunes of gnashing goodness! Leeeeeooonnnn~ Love me tender! Live and be my eternal love!~

“Ooh… oh mixer…” He moaned, but then the Teddy Ruxpin began to purr and nip at his ear with it’s electric mouth. “T-Teddy?”

“What a startling dilemma! I wonder what he will choose?” Ryou wondered out loud thoughtfully.

Author’s Notes:

Bwahahaha!!! And with that I end this chapter! Leon’s fate is now up to YOU the reader! I have had my choice in random appliances for much too long. Review and vote for the electric mixer or Teddy Ruxpin now! ::evil grin::