My life my pain

Two month later


Enrique looked longingly into my eyes after he had forced himself on my lap. “Please Jou! Why do you still resist? I know you want me too.”

It was true. I did feel some desire towards the black haired beauty, but it was simply a sexual sort of attraction. He was gorgeous looking and an okay guy when you looked past his snobbishness, but I didn’t love him –not that he loved me either, I could tell by the way he was throwing himself at me that he wasn’t looking for love, but for a simple lay and maybe a bit fun.

I didn’t blame him for that though. I remember times- not to long ago – when I didn’t care for my bed partners beyond the pleasure they could give me either.

I sighed and pushed him off my lap. Enrique groaned and rolled his eyes. “Really Jou, I don’t get you. What do you think is so wrong about a little bit of fun?”

“I don’t love you.” I simply said.

Enrique raised an eyebrow. “So? I don’t love you either. Don’t tell me you have never had sex just for the fun of it.”

“Of course I have, but it’s…I don’t know, I just feel different about it now.”

Enrique rolled his eyes again – a really annoying habit of his. “I really don’t get you. I’m out of here. Call me again when you have removed that stick up your ass.”

Enrique turned around and left; slamming the front door behind him.

I sighed. Why exactly had I accepted his apology again?

When we first met, we fought over some guy and Enrique was really nasty to me. Strangely enough, I can’t remember us fighting over this guy that I was so passionate about it. Try as I may, I just can’t remember the guy’s name or face…nothing, and neither does Enrique.

It’s really strange. I’ve talked to Yugi and the gang about it, and they’ve all said that they feel like something…maybe someone is missing. None of them feel as deeply about it as me and Mokuba though. The young CEO has been struggling for two months now. He told me that it feels like… like someone has taken a part of his heart, and he can’t get it back. I feel the same. The only difference is that, he feels like it’s a beloved family member who’s vanished, and for me it’s like the love of my life has…disappeared. Is it possible…? I—arg!

It’s weird, but can never seem to bring that thought to an end. Every time I try to think about it, these strange feelings rise inside of me and an immense headache will force me to stop that train of thought. It’s like something inside of me is hindering me from remembering… It was the same that morning two months ago, when I woke up at Mokuba’s mansion. I was in a room that seemed much too personal to be a guest room. In fact, not even Mokuba seemed to know anything about it, let alone how I had ended up there. I had the feeling that I was there with someone though…someone important—the person that the room belonged to, but…

Again, I found that train of thought eluding me. Suddenly, my head felt like it would split into two. Thankfully, though, the phone rung and I was distracted from both my thoughts and the pain.

“Hey Jou, its Mokuba…listen, I know I asked a lot of you lately, but could you come over? I really need some help, and could you call Yugi and the others too? I have something to ask and…well, could you call them? I know it’s on short notice, but…”

“Relax Mokuba, of course I’ll help. Let me call Yami and we’ll all be over in about an hour, okay?

“Thanks Jou, I appreciate it.”

“Your welcome, see ya.”

I hung up and called the gang and told them to be at Kaiba Corp. within the hour. Afterwards I got ready as fast as possible; thinking that poor Mokuba was up to his neck in work. Lately the poor guy just hasn’t been able to catch up on all the work at Kaiba Corp. Regularly he calls one of us – normally me, seeing as I’m the only one without a steady job – to help out.

Quickly, I left a note for my dad, grabbed my backpack and left in a hurry.

On my way to Kaiba Corp. I took a detour towards the local park. It’s become a strange habit of mine to go there at least twice a week.

I spotted him almost immediately—the poor creature that makes me do this detour.

He sat on the same park bench as always, wearing the same shady cloth, his legs drawn up to his chest, as he hid his head in his knees.

I first saw him a couple of months ago, and since then I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind. I don’t know whether it was pity or some other feeling, but I can’t forget about him or stop being concerned. I’ve tried to ask him for his name on multiple occasions, but he never acknowledges me in any other way than sinking further into himself. That’s why I decided to call him, Brownie. His mop of brown hair the only feature I could ever see, and that gave me enough reason to call him that. That and I simply love food (if I could I would call Yugi apple-pie, Mokuba blackberry and Honda would be banana). Snicker

“Hey Brownie.” I called out as I approached him.

As soon as ´brownie´ heard me, he sank further into himself…hiding his head deeper in his knees. I sighed. I don’t know what I did, but since the first time we met, I seemed to have intimidated him somehow.

I slowly sank down right next to him on the bench. “I got something for you.” I said while rumbling around my backpack. He didn’t react.

I pulled out some Tupperware with freshly made sandwiches inside. I sat it on the bench. Then I grabbed the thermos flask I put it beside the Tupperware. “I hope you like black tea.” Of course I got no answer.

I sighed and pulled the last item out of my backpack. “Here,” I said and I laid the quilt around his shoulders. “It’s supposed to get very cold tonight. I will be back later to pick up the Tupperware and the flask; make sure you’ve finished everything by then – you can keep the quilt.”

I was about to get up when I heard a raspy sound. Had he just…did he…?

Brownie cleared his throat and spoke again. “Thank you” He whispered and I stared wondrously at him, right into his face. “No problem blue eyes.” I breathed out.

This chapter was really dificult for me and I would like to thank my beta mycrimsonrose13 for her help and for being honest.


Also Thank you to those who have reviewed...don´t be shy and do it again please ;p