Fractured future

Title: Fractured future 2/4
Author: Akuchan
Rating: R
Pairing (s): Seto/Jounouchi
Wish maker: Joey
Beta: Daisey
Spoilers: Throughout the series
Disclaimer: I never have and never will own Yugioh. And I don't make
any money from this story either.
Summary: After a run-in with Kaiba, Jounouchi foolishly wishes for
something that adversely affects Kaiba, and changes the course of his
own life. The two are thrown together, and gradually become closer
but to take their relationship to its full potential Jounouchi has to
overcome his guilt.

"You're joking, right?"

Yugi's voice startles me, and it's only then that I realize that I've
been looking out the window the whole time that I've been telling my
story. Actually, it was his tone that startled me more than the fact
that he was speaking; I don't think I've ever heard him sound so
angry. I take a quick look; nope, never seen him looking that mad,
either. "Look, Yug', I know it's awful, but ya gotta know that, if
I'd thought for one second that it would come true, I never would
have wished that on him. Honest."

"Jounouchi, you don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?"

"Well, I was hoping that ya knew me better than that!" I half scream
at him. "As much as I despised Kaiba when we were in high school, I
really didn't want anything bad to happen to him." I try to keep my
temper under control, best friend and all that garbage. I can't
believe that he would actually think that I'd really want Kaiba to
fall down those stairs and break both of his legs.

"I meant the story, Jounouchi." Boy, does he ever sound
exasperated. "You expect me to believe that you wished for Kaiba to
fall down the stairs and break both of his legs and that it happened,
just like that?" he asked, snapping his fingers.

"Yep, just like that," I say, nodding my head.

"Jounouchi, I want to believe you; I really do," he says. I can tell
that he's trying hard to reign in his anger to avoid a fight. Not
that we've ever had a major one before, and honestly, I don't want to
fight with him now, either. "I might believe you but for one little
fact: you- and- Kaiba- never- fought- in- school," he says
punctuating each word as if I'm a half-wit and won't understand what
he's saying. "The only time I can recall the two of you ever coming
to blows was that time at Duelist Kingdom. Once your sister had her
surgery and you'd decided on your path, you calmed down quite a bit
and virtually ignored Kaiba."


Fuck, that's right. I forgot about that, sort of. Yugi doesn't
remember anything about the way things used to be. It seems that
this wish changed a whole bunch of things pertaining to me. From
what I can tell, even though my life changed drastically, nobody
else's did at all, except in the way that they related to me. What I
mean is that Yugi still solved the puzzle, we went through all that
stuff with Pegasus, Marik, Dartz, and so on. Yami's memories were
recovered, and he moved on. The dog suit incident with Otogi still
happened, because Shizuka hadn't yet had her surgery, and I hadn't
decided that I wanted to become a nurse. And, that's another thing
that still freaks me out. What the hell? A nurse? I'm squeamish, and
I don't like blood. And I'm gay, not girlie. Yeah, yeah, I know all
about throwing away stereotypical gender roles and all that, BUT A
NURSE? Come on! The powers that be could have chosen something else
for chrissakes.

Yugi is clearing his throat; oh right, back to him. He's still
looking mighty PO'd, and me ignoring him has probably pissed him off
that much more. "Look, Yug', I know it sounds insane. Trust me, I've
tried ta convince myself that it's all just one, great big crazy-
assed nightmare, but I can't. I have two separate sets of memories of
two lives that I've lived. There are a lot of similarities, but
there are a whole lot of things that are different, too. Take, for
instance, Kaiba and me. You say we never fought, but in my real
life, or my first life, or whatever the hell ya want ta call it, the
two of us were at each other's throats all the time. It was almost
an Olympic sport I tells ya." I can't help but chuckle over the
memories. We had some doozies.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" he asks. I wouldn't
say he's changed his mind yet, but there is definitely a thaw in his
attitude.

I nod, and then ask him what the hell he's doing. He's gotten off the
chair and he's looking under picture frames and inside the light
shade. Now he's grabbed a chair from the dinette, and he's poking
around in the ceiling fixture. The way he's hanging from it- in one
long lean arch, or as long and lean as a guy who's topped out at 5'5"
can be- is giving me ideas. He's got a cute little tushie—that's
taken and straight—as Anzu likes to remind me whenever she catches me
eyeballin' her fiancé. Though god only knows when the two of them
will tie the knot, seeing as she's in the States as often as she is
at home, and Yugi's still working his way through school. He's going
to be a doctor. Despite my initial reservations about Anzu's true
feelings for Yugi—I was afraid that she saw him just as a substitute
for Atem—I'm very happy for them now, as her feelings seem genuine
and everybody ~knows~ that Yugi has been carrying a torch for her
forever.

"I'm looking for the hidden cameras."

"What?" Oh yeah. I'd asked him a question before I started checking
out his ass. "What cameras?" I ask to cover the fact that my mind,
or should I say my eyes, or more accurately, my mind ~and~ my eyes,
had been focused someplace else.

"The ones that are recording this so that you can post it on the
Internet and laugh at me later," he jokes as he climbs down. "And no,
Jounouchi, we are not going to have wild monkey sex hanging from your
chandelier." It sucks to have a friend who knows exactly how my
perverted mind works. At least ~that~ didn't change, and I'm
grateful that he's trying to lighten up the situation; nothing upsets
me more than when Yugi is well and truly pissed at me.

"Sorry ta disappoint ya, Yug', but it wasn't you I was picturing," I
grin at him. Hey, I wasn't! Ok, so maybe I was, but I was also
thinking about how I'd like to get Kaiba into a similar position, if
his legs ever heal well enough to take the strain, that is. Shit,
my always-just-below-the-surface guilt has just taken the fun out of
~that~ fantasy.

"Uh huh. Kaiba, maybe?" He snickers and winks at me.

I hate it that he knows me so well. "Yeah, well, that ain't never
gonna happen. It's my fault he broke both his legs, Yug'. Remember?
I can't get intimate with him now, knowing what I did to him." And
now we're right back where we started. I'm waiting for more protests
and funny looks from Yugi, but they're not coming.

"I'm sorry for not believing you earlier, Jounouchi," he says as he
pats my arm sympathetically.

I can't tell you how much it lifts my spirits just knowing that he's
actually willing to believe me now, even if he can't do anything to
change it. That's one of the many great things I love about Yugi—if
he's your friend and he has faith in you, he will usually give you
the benefit of the doubt, no matter how crazy you might appear to be.
And, at this moment in time, I know I'm looking mighty crazy. I
think that's why I'd decided to unload on him to begin with. I knew
that, despite his initial disbelief, his faith in me would
prevail. "Hey, you're actually taking it better than you should be,
all things considered."

"I'm having a hard time processing it. It all sounds so fantastic.
From what you're saying, all of our lives were accelerated six years
just to make your wish come true."

"Not just us, Yugi; think about it. The whole world was put on fast
forward, just so Kaiba could fall down those stairs and break his
legs." As I say that, the enormity of it is a crushing weight on my
soul. It's a concept that is way too big to wrap my head around, so
I do what I've been doing with that thought since it first dawned on
me. I shove it aside to think about it at another time. It's one of
those things I'm just going to have to learn to live with because
there is nothing that I can do about it, so why waste my emotional
energy worrying about something I can't change? I should apply that
concept to this whole situation; what's done is done, and since I
can't change it, I'll just have to learn to live in this altered
reality as best I can. Pfft, easier said than done.

"If you were anyone else, Jounouchi, I would say that you were
suffering from delusion of grandeur, but I believe you. I don't know
why I do, but I do. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that
you've never lied to me before, and as much as I'd like to think that
you're making it up, I can't actually make myself believe that you
would say something like this just for the hell of it." See? There it
is- his everlasting faith in me. In both of my lives, I know that
that is one thing that has helped to keep me on the straight and
narrow.

"Did my life change at all? I know it's selfish to ask, but I'm
curious."

I can't blame the guy for asking; I think I'd want to know too. And
I'm pretty sure that I know what it is that's really burning him
up. "Nah; as far as I can tell, things happened the way they were
likely to have happened anyways. Atem is in my memories from the time
before the wish, so I think that you were always meant to solve the
puzzle, Yug'."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Yeah, and I bet you're relieved to hear that it's just my life that
is totally fucked up," I joke with him. But, I can't even say that
it's fucked up, because it's pretty damn good. In my life before, I
had no idea what I wanted to do. But, I know for sure that nursing
wasn't even in the realm of possibilities. "You don't find it all
odd that I went into nursing, Yug'?" I ask him, seemingly right out
of the blue. But, he's used to my random thoughts.

"No, Jounouchi, I don't. After Shizuka had her surgery, and you saw
how wonderful the nurses were with her and your family, it was all
you wanted to do."

"Yeah, I know, but why a nurse and not a doctor like you? They make
more money, and ya know I'm all about the cash." I grin and wink at
him.

"I don't know, Jounouchi. I've never thought about it."

"I'll tell you why; it's because of the wish. I said I wanted to
take care of Kaiba while he was convalescing, so whatever power was
in charge of making this happen made me a nurse, and I'm not sure how
I feel about having my career choice taken away from me."

"If you're that unhappy, Jounouchi, once Kaiba is healed, you could
go back to school and take something else."

"I suppose so." It's something that I've thought about as well, but
as much as it's something I never would have picked for myself, I
can't see me doing anything else. I'm good at my job, I don't hate
it, and I have been looking to upgrade my education so that I can get
into one of the better positions. In my first life, I had no chance
of going to a top-notch school. But, in this altered reality, I not
only went to the best nursing school in Japan, I did it on a full
scholarship, and graduated near the top of my class. That part of
the wish turned out very well; it's the other consequence that I'm
having a hard time coming to grips with.

"So, what did you do in the moment that everything changed?" Yugi
asks me, completely changing the tack of the conversation. Yo, and
people think that ~I'm~ the one with the short attention span and no
focus. Actually, in this existence, they don't- or, not when it
comes to my school and/or work at least, though I am still quite the
clown with my friends.

"Ya know, I don't know ~how~ I kept it together. It was the craziest
thing evah, Yug'. One minute, I'm sittin' in the nurse's office
cursin' out Kaiba, the next, I'm in a meeting, at Kaiba manor, with
people that I've never seen before- and yet I've known them and
worked with them for over a year. We're going over everything and
making sure that all of the medical equipment is in place and in good
working order before Kaiba comes home from hospital the next day.
And the crazy thing is, I ~knew~ what they were talking about. When
they discussed his meds, I knew exactly what the dosage that a man of
his age and weight should have for each drug; stranger still was the
fact that I knew what each one was, and what it would do. Had he
been prescribed any that I was unfamiliar with, I knew that I had
pocket drug guide in my briefcase that would bring me up to speed. I
knew what we would have to do to prevent bedsores, and the best way
to stop his muscles from atrophying. I understood it all, Yug'.
Picture, if you will, the top of my head flipped open like it was a
lid, and everything that I needed to know being fed into me in an
instant. I spent the duration of the meeting in a daze, and when it
was time to leave, I walked out with one of my coworkers to the car
that I knew I'd purchased six months ago, even though, when I had
woken up that morning, I didn't have my license yet, let alone a
car. I knew what my apartment- this place- looked like before I ever
walked through the door. I knew that the old woman whom I ran into
in the lobby was Sasamoto-san, that her husband had passed away from
cancer just a few months ago, and that I had been one of his homecare
workers. Even though I had never seen her before in my life. It was
nuts I tell ya, Yug', nuts."

I end up pouring out exactly how I've been handling this – which, I'm
afraid to admit, is not very good at all. Most times my grip on my
sanity is tenuous at best and the only time I seem to be completely
balanced is when I'm taking care of Kaiba. As long as I'm working I'm
fine, but when I'm at home alone, the guilt about what I've done
almost eats me alive. Don't try telling me that it's not my fault; it
is, and I have to figure out a way to fix it. As I'm talking, I'm
smacked over the head with an idea so brilliant and so obvious that I
have no idea why I hadn't thought of it before. "Hey, Yug, any chance
that you picked up any magic powers from Atem?"

When he looks at me, I can see he's confused about why I would ask
something so strange, and then, as realization dawns as to where I'm
going with the question, he shakes his head sadly. "The short answer
would be no, Jounouchi. I don't have any magical powers. But, you
never know. Atem ~was~ a part of me…" I can see that he doesn't want
to discount the idea right away, and he mentions that maybe there is
something that Ishizu might know how to bring out. Or, she might know
of a spell that can be cast to change things back to the way they're
supposed to be.

I'm not keen on tellin' anyone else, but Ishizu is not just anyone,
and I'm almost certain that she won't brush my story away as the
ramblings of a certifiable lunatic. You wouldn't think, anyways,
considering her background and all. We talk for a little longer and
Yugi leaves me with the promise that he'll contact the Egyptian woman
and see if there's anything that can be done. After he's gone, I
notice that I don't feel quite so out of sorts at being left alone
tonight. Perhaps it's from sharing my burden, or maybe it's from
finally doing something proactive. Whatever it is, I have a feeling
that I'll sleep better than I have since this ordeal began.

Despite that, though, I'm feeling a bit of doubt about reversing the
wish. Is it a stupid idea that is best left alone? I don't know. I
could end up screwing things up even more than they already are, and
this reality seems to be better for me than my original one. But, I
feel like an impostor- like I'm not living the life that I'm supposed
to be. When I said something similar to Yugi earlier, in all of his
wisdom, he asked me if maybe the life that I had been leading- the
crappy one that I remember- wasn't actually the one that was wrong,
and that perhaps my wish had just rectified all that. I know he
means well, but my heart tells me he's wrong. Even though I'm doing
pretty damn good, I just can't help but feel that I don't deserve the
ease with which it was all handed to me. Not to mention the price
that Kaiba had to pay. And that, more than anything, is reason
enough to try and switch everything back to the way it should be.

TBC