Secrets

Home definitely didn't provide the solace he had hoped for. The fact that Atsuko had taken advantage of the extra day off she now had from work to go and take the children to visit her mother was rewarding in that at least he now had silence. But silence wasn't what he wanted. What he truly wanted was the sound of his brother's voice soothing him, telling him he wasn't stupid for screwing up his life so royally. The need to talk to Seto drove him to dig around in his pocket, and push the underused speed dial on his phone.

Blue eyes didn't leave the computer screen as one elegant hand neatly picked up the phone and opened it. "Kaiba," the owner of eyes, hand, and phone said distractedly.

"Seto, talk to me." The voice that flooded through the earpiece sounded desperate and lost.

That elegant hand suddenly went nerveless and dropped the phone; the tall man went into an absolutely undignified heap on his knees to catch it on the floor before it hit something and accidentally disconnected. "Mokuba?!" he said as he caught it again. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" Only then did he pushed himself back into his chair.

"Nothing happened...I just wanted to talk to you." Mokuba almost felt pitty for himself at how pathetic he sounded. ANd he certainly regretted calling Seto.

"I'm glad you called..." the brunet said quietly. "I was thinking..."

"What were you thinking?" At least this was conversation...

"I was thinking I would never hear from you again."

Silence flowed through the line as he tried to figure out something to say, "The way you spoke, I wasn't sure you wanted to hear from me again..."

"It was just a goodbye... It felt like it had to be so final because... I expected to never hear from you again. I didn't want to leave anything unsaid... but I did anyway." The computer was abandoned, and he looked up at the ceiling

"What didn't you say?" This had him wondering. Why did they have to both be so damn evasive?

"...That i love you."

Another silence before Mokuba could figfure out what to say. Seto didn't mean anything by that, he couldn't mean anything by it... "well of course...I love you too, But that hardly seems important."

"Right..." Seto said quietly. "Nothing important..."Why should telling his brother that he loved him be anything important? Kami, this conversation was another one that should never have happened...

"What I meant was, I already know you love me...I thought that there was something of some importance you might want to tell me..."

"No, just that. I thought it was important enough to regret not saying."

"Ah..." Now he felt quite stupid for having discarded the statement when it clearly meant so much to Seto...but he just couldn't think about those words without thinking of something undesirable, "Are you at work now?"

"Yes, I came right after you left... There wasn't any reason to stay home anymore."

"I'm sorry about that...I just felt...uncomfortable."

"I know. And I'm sorry for that..."

Mokuba sighed, running a hand through his hair, "It's not your fault in the least bit, so don't apologize..."

A soft laugh traveled the airwaves. "You don't think I'm stupid enough to believe that, do you? I am the genius here."

An annoyed sigh, "It really isn't...I wouldn't tell you it wasn't your fault if it was..."

"There's something you're not telling me now..."

"Must I tell you everything?"

"No, you don't have to. You used to..." Now it was wistfulness that drifted around them. "But it seems like you're afraid to tell me... whatever it is. You don't have to be.”

"Aa. If you knew what it was then you would know I would have to be." Despite this melancholy conversation, he was smiling at how concerned Seto seemed to be.

"But you don't have to be," he repeated softly. "I told you. not matter what it is."

"If I felt that it was something that would benefit you by knowing, then don't you think I'd tell you? Now can we please just talk about something other then this?"

"You don't need to protect me from anything," the elder told him over the machine, wishing for perhaps the firs time ever that they could get the technology out of he way and speak face to face. "Especially not yourself..."

"Seto please." There was a sense of desperation to this plea as he tried to drive his brother away from the topic.

"Mokuba, I want you to tell me." This time the voice was firm, but only in an unyielding way, he wasn't pressing. "And if you tell me no once more I'll never ask again... but I do want to know." This was Mokuba's last chance to tell him what was eating at him - what had likely been eating at him for years - unless he brought it up himself in the future.

Mokuba was quiet a while, thinking about what his brother had said, "Well...Would you rather know and never see me again, or not know?" It was Seto's turn to make a decision.

"I would never choose to never see you again, no matter what..." Seto said quietly, his free hand holding onto the armrest of his chair tightly enough to make his fingers go numb, his eyes shut tightly as he tried to drive away the beginning of a panic attack that was already forming at the idea. "I can't do that..."

"Then I can't tell you. If I told you, I'd never be able to see you again." Hanging up the phone sounded like a good idea about now...

"Then don't tell me." The words were quiet as he gave in. It was possible, he could have stood his ground and demanded and answer, but he didn't think he could handle never being allowed to see his brother again... by Mokuba's choice...

"I'm sorry Seto..." His voice was soft as he spoke, "Maybe I should just let you get back to work..."

"Will you come back?" Seto suddenly found himself asking, as he meant to say goodbye and hang up. "For a short visit, tonight? You can be home before work tomorrow."

Mokuba wanted to say no. Every bit of intelligence the man had gained in his twenty five years of life told him to just say no, "I...Sure." But hadn't he already established he wasn't intelligent. "What time should I be there?"

"Whenever you want. Just call when you're on your way." What he didn't see a need to tell his brother was that he was closing up his office to go home immediately, so that he would be there when Mokuba arrived, without fail.

"...Fine." Why did he have to give in like this? It still wasn't to late to change his mind... "I'll be there in a few hours..." and with that, he finally hung up his phone and collapsed down on to the couch.

Seto hung up expressionlessly and walked out brusquely, telling the secretary we would be gone until tomorrow, and calmly drove home to await his brother's visit, admirable mind still running over what Mokuba was so sure he couldn't tell him.

Once Mokuba had finished calling his wife and explaining a lie to her, he had his permission to leave and so he did. The journey to Seto's home seemed to go by faster than it normally did. But wasn't that how it always was? If you dreaded something with every fiber of your being, it would only come to you faster. Sometimes he really hated how the mind worked. It felt as if only minutes, as opposed to hours, had passed since he'd turned the car on before he was pulling up into the driveway he had pulled out of only that morning.

The car pulled into the driveway; Seto knew this, and he would have known it anyway even had his ears not been tuned for he noise; it seemed as though he could feel it's foreboding presence. The silence after the engine cut out was deafening, as Seto stood and opened the door without waiting for Mokuba's knock.

If only Seto hadn't opened that door...Then maybe he would have been able to turn around, drive away, and pretend he had never been there. But instead, He stepped out of his car slowly; Making sure to take his time as he made it up to the porch and where Seto was waiting. Mokuba said nothing, and didn't move at all as he looked into his brother eyes; reading him was as impossible as always.

Seto calmly stood aside and allowed Mokuba to enter. This shouldn't have been so solemn. In all honesty... he couldn't have said why it was.

Mokuba nodded his head before stepping inside and slipping out of his shoes. "What did you call me here for?" Straight down to business - Wasn't that supposed to be Seto's style?

Unreadable as always, Seto regarded his brother,dark blue eyes focused on his face, evaluating his demeanor and everything he knew about him, pulling it all together into a reasonable conclusion. Then he took one step forward, without a hint of hesitation, and kissed Mokuba lightly on the lips.

Just as it had been the night before with Seto's embrace, the reaction was immediate and a bit more desperate as he pushed the older man away. No words passed his lips, but his harshly narrowed eyes did all the talking for him as his breathing became slightly irregular. This couldn't happen; he couldn't kiss his brother.

Perfectly calmly, the brunet watched him. Mokuba's reactions were either from rage, or... something else. He was fairly certain he knew which. "That's what you couldn't tell me," he said calmly.

"You're wrong." The harsh gaze didn't lessen, but his feeling of discomfort raised higher than ever. How the hell had Seto managed to figure him out again?

"I'm not," he said just as calmly. "I know you. I listened to what you said. The reason you felt you had to get married was to get yourself away from me."

Shaking his head, his gaze softened as he turned it down to the floor. Silence again. Deafening, appalling silence. How the hell was he supposed to respond to this?

"I told you you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything, and you don't have to protect me." Watching Mokuba was a hard habit to break; he tried to finally look away and couldn't even blink. But he was right. There was nothing so horrible that Mokuba wouldn't have already told him in the face of this.

"It's not right." Mokuba muttered, shaking his head. "Not at all..."

"Does it really matter? I don't care what you do with the knowledge, but at least know that I accept it."

"How the hell can you accept that?" Finally, he raised his gaze; a look of cool indifference in his stormy eyes. "It doesn't matter anyway...Like you said, I'm married now."

"I can, because I love you. That won't change. An I know you're married; I'm not trying to tell you what to do; I'm giving you options. You have the knowledge. Do as you wish."

There were times when Mokuba really wished he had some ounce of intelligence in him; This was one of them. "Just...shut up..." In a matter of seconds, his hands were pressed firmly against Seto's shoulders and he pushed him back into the door. Next thing he knew his lips were crushed against the other's, demanding what he had wanted for years.

Seto didn't fight; he kissed Mokuba back, his hands coming up to his waist. Honestly, he couldn't find it in himself to mind. Over the last several hours since he had made the connection he had adjusted to the idea, and now it simply didn't matter; it was all part of his love for Mokuba. Perhaps it had always been deeper than it should have been. Perhaps it was a new development...

With eyes squeezed shut, he dared to go further then this. His tongue demanded entrance into the elder's mouth with all the forcefulness of a spoiled rich child that had always received what he had wanted. When he felt the hands on his waist, and the lips working back against his own all hope was lost. If Seto was willing, then Mokuba wouldn't be able to stop himself.

Entrance to his mouth wasn't a problem; Seto gave it willingly and returned the kiss just as eagerly, or as close as he could come to Mokuba's eagerness. He hadn't been suppressing these feelings for seven years or more... He wondered idly if Mokuba ever took his wife from behind and imagined she was him; the idea made him moan against Mokuba's mouth.

Mokuba felt himself getting lost more and more into the kiss, practically drowning. It was a good feeling, but if he drowned completely he'd never be able to come back from it. With a great show of self restraint, Mokuba tore his lips away from Seto's, panting as he leaned his forhead against his brother's.

"....I knew I was right," Seto couldn't help but point out rather smugly.

"Why did you have to do this?" His voice came out strained as he was obviously trying to suppress something - probably tears.

Seto raised one hand to lift Mokuba's chin to make him look at him. "I want you to be happy. I know this won't do it, but you don't have to feel trapped anymore. You don't have to worry about what I'd think anymore."

"Now I only want you even more..." He muttered as he turned his face away from his brother again.

"I'm sorry, Mokuba." That was all he could say. "As far as I'm concerned I'm already yours. In any way you want."

"But I'm married..." Was the phrase he repeated for the millionth time that day, "If only this revelation had come about 7 years earlier..."

"If you need to, you can get a divorce... but I wouldn't ask you to do that. You can visit me on weekends. You can ignore me... There are always options.'

"I can't get a divorce." The response came quick and even sounded automatic, "I won't do that to my children..." As for the other things, neither seemed like a satisfactory option. There was no way in hell he would ever even consider ignoring his brother.

"I know this won't be easy... but you can do whatever you want." Seto leaned forward to kiss him briefly once more before letting him go.

"Seto..." He reached out, running a gentle hand through his brother's soft hair before letting it fall to his shoulder. "I love you...so much...If you're really willing then I'll be here every weekend..."

"I am willing," he reassured him, moving to lean into his hand only to have it fall away. "...When does your wife expect you home?"

"Tomorrow after work...That's when I told her I'd be back..." Though he doubted he'd ever want to leave.

"Then you can stay for several hours yet... stay the night, if you call in to work."

Mokuba nodded, and loosely wrapped his arms around Seto's waist. "Then that's what I'll do..." It felt so odd to finally have his brother in his arms in this way, but damn did it feel good.

With a small smile, Seto allowed himself to not get in the last word this time and leaned forward to kiss Mokuba again.

This time he kept the kiss slower, more gentle. He allowed himself to get wrapped up in the feel and taste of his brother; Mokuba never wanted to let this feeling out of his grasp again.

Seto kissed him back, then slowly pulled back. "This is going to sound very sad..." he murmured. "But I believe you have a lot more experience in this area that I do..."

"With a woman maybe..." Though how much different could it be? "I've never done anything with a man before..."

"Me either," Seto admitted. "Is it sad to be a thirty year old virgin?"

"Slightly." Mokuba teased, before reaching down to grab his brother's hand, "No more sad then losing said virginity to your younger brother."

"Well, then let's make this sad state of affairs complete..." He squeezed his hand to tug him toward the bedrooms, upstairs.

With a nod of the head, Mokuba gladly followed him. This was what he'd fantasized about for as long as he could remember. Now that he was going to have it - have his brother - he doubted he'd be able to use the illusion when making love to his wife...

Nervous...? Slightly, Seto could admit that. Long ago he had resigned himself to living to be a repressed old man and dying a virgin... so there was also relief there. Reaching his time-stagnant bedroom, he turned around and kissed Mokuba again in the doorway.

Mokuba was eager to kiss back, slick lips dancing against his brother's. It felt so wrong, but so damn good, to be with Seto like this. "Come on..." his voice came as a husky mutter as he grabbed Seto's hands, dragging him further into the room and over to the bed.

The elder sat down heavily, pulling Mokuba with him and ending up on his back with his legs off the end, kissing desperately back. It felt so damned good... he didn't even want to know why. It just was. Long hands traced gentle paths over his muscular brother's broad back, over the top of the silky shirt.

Mokuba straddled his legs across Seto's waist, tongue making quick work of prying open the other's mouth to get back inside. His hands moved down to the bottom of his brother's short and he worked it up slowly, hands caressing every inch of skin that was exposed.

The pale flesh shivered at Mokuba's touches and he gasped gently into the kiss as he returned it, pressing against Mokuba above him. Their clothes had to be disposed of, certainly, but it wasn't sure if he could last that long...

The fact that, in order to remove their clothes, he would have to break the kiss annoyed him; it wasn't something he wanted to end. Mokuba crawled over Seto towards the center of the bed before tearing his own shirt off and grabbing his brother. With a gentle tug he pulled Seto up onto his knees and into the center of the bed in front of him. His shaking hands pulled off the other's shirt quickly and then grabbed the sides of his face, pulling him back into another heated kiss.

Everything was happening so fast; Seto could barely keep up with where his brother's hands were and whether they were vertical or horizontal. It had really all ceased to matter a while ago. His hands settled on Mokuba's waist and moved around to unfasten his pants, shying away from touching what was within but pushing them down.

His eyes followed Seto's movements, as he shifted slightly to pull his own pants off completely. Slowly, he leaned his head down, littering kisses along the smooth pale skin of his brother's neck. Meanwhile, his hands drifted down to the belt that held up the other's pants; he made quick work of it and was soon pushing away the last thin barriers between he and Seto.

The elder gasped and tilted his head away, shifting to fall back onto his back with his legs splayed, tugging Mokuba down on top of him. Having the warm body on top of his own felt so right...

Mokuba hated to admit it, but he wasn't entirely sure of where to go from here. Tearing his mouth away from Seto's neck, he allowed his eyes to travel over the body he'd fantasized about for so long. "God you're beautiful..." His lips moved back to Seto's neck, attacking it with a lusty drive he hadn't had a few seconds earlier.


The flush that crept up his cheeks was something Seto would never admit to; he would pass it off as exertion or excitement if it ever came up. for some reason, though, hearing that line from Mokuba wrapped him in a warm blanket of pure good feeling... nearly as good as the things Mokubas body was doing to his own, even just touching him...

Need wouldn't be contained much longer, and he pulled himself over his brother's body more. Without warning, he pushed his hips down against Seto's, rubbing groin against groin.

Seto gave a groan and pulled one leg up alongside of Mokuba's so that he could press up against him.

Mokuba had every intention of fully taking the other when this had began, but now he couldn't manage to tear himself away from his current actions. The combination of pleasure and total lust was completely taking over his mind. Finally, he was able to gain some amount of control over himself, "Seto...Are you positive you want this?" he asked, looking down at Seto intently.

"Mokuba..." the elder gasped, looking up at him. "I'm thirty... gay... alone... a virgin... and now horny as hell... yes, I want it. Please."

A smile couldn't help but spread over his lips, and he pulled himself away from the other, "Some sort of... lubrication..." He muttered to himself, looking around, "DO you have any?"

"Of course I do," Seto said, sounding vaguely affronted. He slid up a moment to reach into his drawer and toss a tube of lubricant at him. "There should still be enough there."

Mokuba eyed it warily, smirking slightly, "You use a lot of this for a virgin...or maybe that's why you've used so much." Yes, teasing Seto was still fun even in times like this.

"No, I use so much because I'm single. I have to do something. I don't think being a virgin has much to do with it." There was a box under his bed that he wasn't about to mention... "Do you know what you're doing, or do I have to tell you?"

The basics were obvious, but the finer points..."Just tell me what you want me to do."

"How about we let me take the lead this time," Seto said, plucking the lube from Mokuba's hand again and pushing him back onto his back, there one hand trailed up his brother's hard cock lightly.

Mokuba shivered, unsure of this arrangement; He'd never had someone take the lead before. "Seto..."

"At least I know what I'm doing," Seto pointed out, and squeezed a fairly generous amount of what was in the tube into his hands, rubbing it smoothly over Mokuba's member. "And I know how to do it so I won't hurt myself." He'd never been with anyone before, of course, but... well, he was creative, and rich; he had other ways of getting satisfaction. Leaning over to kiss Mokuba lightly, he squeezed him for a moment.

Seto's movements elicited several appreciative noises. "Uhn...Fine..." Mokuba was certainly not in any position to argue and was content to simply watch his brother do whatever he needed to do.

The elder smiled a little, looking down at Mokuba, and then straddled him, rubbing his hands together, and then reaching behind him to prepare himself a moment as his other hand kept working on Mokuba's body. Impatient, he quickly removed his hands and positioned himself over Mokuba, pressing against him without going further just yet, enjoying that sensation.

His eyes were wide as he watched Seto prepare himself. Mokuba was fairly certain he had never seen something so incredibly sexy. When he felt Seto's tightness pressing against hims, but not around him he nearly lost it and thrust up and inside of his brother. Instead he settled for rubbing the tip against the entrance, waiting for Seto to push himself down onto it.

Seto's eyes closed a little bit in pleasure and rubbed against him a moment, then his hands rested on top of Mokuba's chest and he slowly settled down on him with a slightly hiss, pausing halfway down to adjust.

It took every single ounce of self control he had to not force himself further inside of his brother's body. The feeling was so damn amazing that he just wanted more, "Oh god Seto...Please..." He groaned.

"Patient..." Seto told his brother. He shifted a little, then drew up and worked himself back down, breathing deeply as he settled down against Mokuba;s lap. Gods, it was...

"Fuck...I've already waited too long..." He reached up, gripping Seto's hips tightly in his hands as he pushed up into his brother; Not hard, but with enough pressure to gain pleasure for himself.

He gasped deeply and shuddered slightly. Most of the discomfort was gone; he slid back up and came down on him, giving Mokuba what he wanted.

One hand slid in between his brother's slim legs and began pumping the other's erection, while his other hand held Seto's hips in place as he continued to buck up into the tight heat that was his brother.

Riding with the movements, Seth groaned, holding onto the younger's biceps. A noise that approached a cry escaped hims as Mokuba thrust against that spot inside of him that made his vision pale a moment...

Assuming he did something right, he didn't change his angle as he thrust up again and again, becoming more and more desperate in his attempt to find release.

His panting increased, turning mostly into moans as he rode him hard, slamming himself down on him. Oh gods... "Mokuba..." he gasped out breathlessly, then stepped it up as he felt the edge coming fast.

"Fuck~" Mokuba groaned as he felt Seto increasing his movements. It was almost over, and he knew it, but he didn't want it to end; It just felt so god damn good.

Seto was panting harshly, unable to speak another word. His vision greyed out as he gave a loud cry when his body tightened and arched over Mokuba's, shaking with the force of his release.

As he watched his brother release, Mokuba couldn't help but follow suit. With one final thrust deep inside of his brother he came, panting heavily as wave after wave of pleasure crashed down upon him.

Panting, Seto slowly let himself down on top of his brother, unable to stay up. "Toys will never do again..." he muttered.

Once Mokuba had redeemed some control on breathing, he reached up to loosely wrap his arms around Seto. A pang of guilt struck him as he felt how much more enjoyable being with Seto was over being with his wife; He couldn't think about her now or he would lose it.

After a while, the elder brother raised his head and kissed the younger lightly. "Thank you, Mokuba."

Mokuba shook his head slightly, discarding the thank you as if to say it wasn't needed. He simply wrapped his arms tighter around Seto, nuzzling his face into the crook of his brother's neck.

Seto sighed slightly, resting comfortably against him. Even if Mokuba didn't think the thanks was necessary, he did. Mokuba had freed him from his self-imposed prison with these feelings.

Gently, he pushed his brother off of him so he could sit up, running a hand through his hair. "Was it.... good?" He muttered quietly. Though he was fairly certain Seto had enjoyed himself...

"The best I've ever had," Seth brunet said dryly, lying on the bed and looking up at his brother. "Do you regret it?"

"...No, Of course not." Though his voice didn't do much to support the words.

Seto frowned slightly and sat up."I'm sorry," he said quietly, responding to his voice and not his words. "I never should have forced you into this..."

Mokuba shook his head as he leaned forward to rest his arms on his bent knees, "You didn't force me into anything..."

"I forced you to admit it. I could have left it alone. I should have left it alone; I was selfish."

There was truth to those words...If Seto hadn't said anything, then Mokuba would have continued to go through his life as he had been for seven years already...things wouldn't have to feel so broken. His gaze remained on the sheets, not saying a word.

"...Can you forgive me, Mokuba?" he asked quietly. "We don't have to do this again. I just wanted for a moment..." He fell silent.

"I need to take a shower." Was the only thing he said before standing up from the bed and moving across the room for the bathroom.

Seto slowly fell back on the soft bed and stared at the ceiling. One single conversation had destroyed his imperfect but livable life... if he had only never told Mokuba that he was gay, none of this would have happened. Mokuba would still be with his wife right this very moment, not in his shower, cleaning up from their illicit affair... even if it was never repeated, it could never be take back. And selfishly, for himself, he would never want it taken back... for Mokuba's sake, he would do anything to fix it. Blue eyes drifted closed against the hopelessness of their situation.

The water was scalding hot as he attempted to scrub away any little remainder of what had just happened. Things weren't supposed to have happened this way. If only he hadn't come back...Why the hell did he even come back anyway? This was what he had wanted all along wasn't it? Out of sheer frustrating, he punched his hand into the smooth ceramic tile, the pain from that making him forget for a few moments about how fucked his life was.

Unnoticed, Seto fell peacefully to sleep.

Once he was through with his shower Mokuba stepped back into the room silently, one towel around his waist and another draped over his wet mane of hair. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he moved to retrieve his clothing and pull it on.

Seto didn't stir in his sleep. The CEO, in this state, didn't look thirty; he always looked young, in fact, but now he barely looked twenty.

Mokuba sat down beside his brother, a small frown on his lips. The younger felt terrible for the way he had abandoned the conversation before leaving to shower.

Seto sighed and shifted on the bed, breathing his brother's name in a sigh of contentment, a small smile on his face.

It tore at his heart to see the look on Seto's face, and the way he whispered his name in his sleep. He wanted to wake the other up, tell him that he was leaving, but what good would that do Seto? No...it was just selfishness that made him want a few last words with his brother before disappearing into oblivion. Just as silently as he had entered the room, he left it; Out the door and into the hallway was the man's escape route.

And Seto didn't stir, though the smile faded away when he breathed Mokuba's name again.

He made quick work of the stairs and then the front lawn, practically sprinting to his car. It was a mistake. This whole thing was a huge terrible mistake. There was nothing he wouldn't give to take it all back or have it be just a terrible dream, but he knew that wouldn't happen. With one last look on the house where he'd grown up, Mokuba slammed on the gas and drove off as fast as he possibly could.

And when Mokuba pulled into his driveway hours later, he could see two small faces peering out of the front window. As he stepped from his car, and walked up the steps of the front porch, he could see the little faces running for the door way. "Papa!" An excited little girls voice flitted gently into his ears as the door was opened. He leaned down, kissing the tops of each of their heads in turn before lifting his gaze. With a few long strides, he was across the hallway and leaning down to kiss his wife on the sofa. This is where he belonged; This is where he was supposed to be.

When Seto awoke hours later, he knew he was alone, and that he would always be alone from this point forward...