My life my pain

This is the second part of the Prolog.


Prologue: Seto Kaiba

As I look in the mirror, I see the same self I have seen for all my life. Ice cold blue eyes, featureless expression. There is no physical difference between the high school me and the 20 year old me. But I have changed so much on the inside. If somebody would actually spend time with me in private, they would realize I am actually a very fragile person and not as strong as I had once been and still pretend to be.

Mokuba also says I have changed (since he is the one person I would allow to see the real me). He told me I have become easier to deal with, but at the same time have become more of a loner than I ever was.

I guess he’s right. I have lost all will to socialize…even though I long for company.

And all this because of one young man and a broken heart…my broken heart


&&&&&Flashback&&&&&

Seto Kaiba was sitting at his desk. He was restless and nervous. This morning his boyfriend Yuki had called him and asked if he could drop by at his office later that day. He had something to discuss with him.

Yuki had sounded very serious. Seto couldn’t think of something he had done wrong but judging by Yuki voice there was definitely something wrong. He had sounded angry, sad, frustrated…Seto couldn’t put a finger on it.

A knock at the door shocked him out of his thoughts.

“Come in.” His voice did not give away his nervousness.

A young man with black hair and dark eyes behind glasses stepped in. He looked nervously around. After he took a deep breath he stepped forwards to the CEO’s desk.

“Hey Seto…”

“Yuki,” Seto greeted with a nod and a small, nervous smile.

“I…God Seto this is so hard. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I…I fell in love with somebody else…I never meant for it to happen but I…She…“

“She?” At first Seto didn’t really understand. Was Yuki really standing here telling him that he had found someone else…a woman? He was shocked. He really thought Yuki loved him as much as he did Yuki.

“Yes, Seto a woman. You know I like you very much, but I always wanted to have children and live a normal live. You will have to understand that I won’t be able to meet you anymore…at least not to soon…maybe later when…”

“When what? When she’s pregnant and you don’t have to be afraid that she will leave because you are fucking a guy? I can’t believe that you are even suggesting something like that,” Seto hissed out.

Yuki said nothing

“What, you don’t have anything to say in your defense?”

Seto’s heart clenched when Yuki finally spoke up. “Seto, you don’t understand. I’m not gay like you. I am Bi; I can’t just be with a guy. I need a woman, a normal relationship...“

“A normal relationship? That you can have. Leave! Leave and never contact me again or, god help me, you will be sorry to ever have met me!”

Yuki left without another word.

After the door closed, Seto fell to his knees and began to sob.

&&&&&End Flashback&&&&&

The time following that had been very difficult on me. For a time, I struggled with myself. I asked myself if I should take him up on his offer. Be his dirty little secret. But I soon decided it wouldn’t do. I am Seto fucking Kaiba, and I am no man’s bitch. And I definitely don’t share.

And then there was the issue of my pride.

To be dumped by the one you love is always hard, but for me it was… Well, I always thought I was too good for that. Too superior. And to be dumped by someone like Yuki… I loved him very much, but he had never been able to stand up against me… I always thought if we would ever break up it would because of me. I was so very conceited.

It wasn’t easy to get over the pain, and I still haven’t forgotten it. That is the reason why I have changed. I know how it feels to loose the one you love. It’s funny. Not loving taught me to feel compassion and to seek friendship, but the pain which come from it... Ironic.

By the end of high school I couldn’t care less at what happened to the Yugi, the Mutt, or his other useless friends. But now…I want to speak to my old classmates. I miss their company. It’s funny how you learn to value something when it’s gone.

I remember Ryou and Yugi being hospitalized because they couldn’t live on without their Yamis. Before, just thought they were pathetic. But since I threw out that bastard (hell will freeze over before I admit that he actually dumped me first), I understand. It had felt like my heart had been crushed and I would never be able to stop crying. And for them it must have been even harder. At some point it was my own decision to let him go, but Ryou and Yugi… they never had a choice.

I knew from Mokuba that they had been in the same hospital ever since. But before I visited them I wanted to know more about their condition. This was the smallest problem. Just a short phone call and a small amount of money (for me) later, I had their doctor’s files on my desk as well as another one from my private detective.

As I had often done business with Otogi, I knew he and Honda were an item. Otogi even brought Honda to meetings and such. So I knew Honda was doing well. The mu…Jou on the other hand…I only knew from Mokuba that he still lived with his father, who had a somewhat questionable reputation.

To be honest, I had rather liked Jou in high school. He was loyal, always happy, and was one of the few who dared to stand up to me, which impressed me greatly. I loved it when he got mad at me and would fight me. He was never one to just ignore me, and with time I realized I was anticipating our fights. No school day was satisfying without at least one round of banter with Jounouichi. And it wasn’t difficult to stir a reaction from him. He really was just like a small puppy: Too stubborn and self confident for his own good.

Well, his file didn’t reveal anything out of the ordinary. Apart from work and visiting Yugi and Ryou three or four times a week, his only outside activity was going to clubs alone…maybe he was meeting with friends there. Surely its not like Yugi, Ryou and Honda were his only friends. He had a personality which made it easy for him to make friends.

Yugi’s and Ryou’s conditions were disturbing. No progress in two years. That’s not normal…were they really so in love with their Yamis? How could this happen? Ryou had always been so gentle, and Yugi so energetic, always smiling.

As I read the report I got angry at Yami and Bakura for leaving them just like that, and… at myself. For ignoring, and then forgetting, them for so long.

So what to do next? Should I go to the hospital? What if Jou is there? What if he isn’t there? Will he be angry with me? Just because I enjoyed our little fights doesn’t mean he did too.

Ah well…I will go tomorrow. If he is not there good. If he is…I will try to talk to him. Maybe we’ll even have a civilized conversation.

First:
As you may have realized I reposted the first part of the prolog.
blackwidow10 is my Beta and she really did a great job checking my work. Please reread the fist chapter. It sounds much better now.

Second:
Thanks to all those who have reviewed. I am really happy you like what I am writing… as to when there will be some action between Kaiba and Jou… soon.

Oh… what do you think? Should I bring back the Yamis or should I put Ryou and Yugi together. Tell me what you want.