To Kill A Kaiba

*Enjoy*

Damn...

I shouldn't have let it end dere like dat. I should've jus gone after
him jus ta see if he was alright or…or…somethin'! Dammit! But what
would dat look like? I finally beat Kaiba and now I want to go kiss da
boo boo and make it all bettah?

A smirk comes across Jounouchi's face.

Hmph, yea that boo boo could be anywhere…"

"u…ou…JOU! EARTH TO JOU!"

After jumping high enough to see his house, Jou whirls around angrily.

"SHIT! WHAT DAT FUCK, HONDA?!! I WANNA LIVE TO SEE GRADUATION!"
Breathing heavily, the blond clutches his chest.

Stifling a laugh, Honda clutches the already hysterical dice master.
"And what the fuck, JOU!? You've been staring after Ice Cold Kaiba for
the longest and he's not even there anymore…"

At that, Jou turns back around….Shit, since when the limo had come and
picked the brunet bishie up?

"Um, guys…Yugi pitched this great idea that we should celebrate over
pizza and a rented movie!" Tea' calls excitedly.

A gust of wind had rearranged Kaiba's scattered cards and the Blue Eye
White Dragon from earlier lands at Jounouchi's feet.

Jou slowly picks it up

"Hey I'm game as long as Honda is", Otogi says twisting his hair.

"Of course I am, as long as there's more besides pizza! Isn't that
right, Jou?"

"Jou?"

The blond idly twists the card between his fingers. Earlier today at
school, Kaiba would've probably sought to beat his ass for even
THINKING about touching one of his precious cards.

But now he just up and leaves them? What does that mean?

A small hand touches his shoulder, making him jump slightly.

"Jou, the storm is getting worse, it's beginning to rain."

"Oh, um yea Yug I'll be right dere. I'll jus pick up dese cards so
dey um, dey um…um want continue to littah dis beautiful park! Heh heh."

Yug sighs into a smile and then chuckles.

Leave it to tough as nails Jou to try and save his enemy's cards from
the rain.

"I told the gang to go on ahead and meet us at the game shop, so I'll
help you!"

Jou surprisingly looks up to Yugi big violet eyes and grins. "Yea
thanks Yug, dat prick has a lot of cards doesn't he?"

As he and Yugi begins to pick up the cards, his mind wonders off to
just what lead them to this point in the first place…..

FLASHBACK

"So we would use the Pythagorean Theorem to solve this portion of the
equation and…eh? Jounouchi Katsuya!" Ueda-sensei* storms up to the
snoozing blond class clown and slaps her ruler on the desk.

Jou shoots up awake but was still very groggy.

In the back left corner, blue pupils roll in a ride circle.

Another typical day…

"Jounouchi Katsuya, whats 2+2?" Ueda-sensei asks with a smirk.

"eh? Um, is zat a uh, Calculus question?" the blonde haired duelist
asked rubbing his eyes.

Kaiba in his surprise snorted so hard that he chokes himself and went
into a fit of coughs.

The rest of the class gasps and then in a split second, laughter
erupts like a volcano.

After realizing his faux pas, Jounouchi suddenly looks like a
sun-kissed tomato.

Covering her mouth to hold back the laugh, Ueda sensei slaps a
worksheet on his desk. "Extra homework with today's assignment"

The bell rings loudly effectively drowning Jounouchi's string of curses

"Gee, Mutt with responses like that, you be lucky if Burger World
hires you."

"Fuck you Kaiba", growls Jounouchi as he angrily gathers up his things.

Kaiba raises his left eyebrow at that but said nothing as he leisurely
walks off to their next period…lunch.

***

The mixtures of different conversations and the clanging of lunch trays
fill the usual atmosphere of the cafeteria.

Towards the right window, sitting at the usual table, was the
Yugi-tachi…and one angry Jou.

"Aww c'mon, Jou. At least she didn't make you do push-ups in front of
the class like that former American drill sergeant, Mr. Mertz did."
Honda said around some French fries.

"Yea, well she didn't have ta make me look like a complete idiot! I
was fucking half-sleep!"

"That's the point, Jou-kun. You were asleep!" Tea' said with a shrug
as she takes a sip from her chocolate milk.

Growling lowly along the lines of `Smart-ass bitch needs to find some
girl friends'; Jounouchi savagely rips a piece of French fry from his
plate and slams his jaw over it.

"I fucking think I lost mah appitite" he mutters.

"Hell, well in that case, lemme get that blueberry cheesecake", Otogi
replies as he grab the plate. "Honda, you wanna share?"

"Da hell he does! Give me mah shit back! I wasn't bein' forreal!"
Jounouchi grabs the other end of the plate and tugs back. Thus a small
game of tug o war ensues.

"Whatever Jou, you shouldn't say things you don't mean!"

"Like you should talk, stop sayin' Honda gives good blow jobs when you
know he has a bad gag reflex!"

"At least, I get head, even if it is half-assed!"

Honda gags on some applesauce.

Tea' turns to a pink Yugi and quietly asks, "Yugi, you bi. What's that
got to do with cheesecake?"

Before Yugi could squeak out an answer a resounding plop can be heard
and the cafeteria went into a deadly silence.

Otogi looks at Jounouchi in horror as the blond holds an empty plate
over his head.

"Shit…who da fuck I hit?"

Otogi was too stunned to say anything.

Honda was turning blue from the lack of oxygen since he was holding in
his laughter.

Tea' had her hand over her hand with a muffled, "oh, Kami…"

And Yugi looked half shocked, half relieved because he didn't have to
answer Tea's embarrassing question.

"Take a guess you dirty filthy animal!" said a deadly voice. "Or you
gonna take another one of your shitty guesses and said that I'm George
fucking Bush!"

Damn! Damn! DAMN! Please let it be the principal, he sorta sounds
like Kaiba…Jounouchi turns to stare at a cheesecake covered Kaiba… "

Hot damn, it's Kaiba!"

The cheesecake on Kaiba's face had splattered in such a way that it
made him look like Santa, except Santa didn't have a blueberry on his
nose…

The snickers ripple throughout the cafeteria which eventually turns
into a full blown wave of laughter.

"Heh Heh, (snicker), um sorry Kaib. I uh (snicker) didn't mean ta,
(choked laugh), well at least ya face doesn't make me wanna vomit dis
time…(snicker)…ya actually look…(a loud guffaw)…delicious! "Holy shit!
Where's a poloroid!?" Jounouchi bursts into a full blown laughing fit.

He might as well laugh at a yakuza with an AK-40…

"I thought stupid people are useful since they make me rich but not
you…oh no, ha ha!, not you!"

Jounouchi immediately stops and stares at Kaiba.

"There's nothing useful about you! How can you fucking BREATHE much
less hold a fucking plate of some shitty ass piece of cheesecake!"

Somewhere in the crowd, a wayward teacher fainted, not at all use to
Kaiba's choice of words.

Even Jou's eyes widen a bit, he wasn't used to it either. Yet deep
inside he was ecstatic.

He was the the fucking man, he can get Kaiba to talk filthy…mmmm, how
far could he take that….

"I should've known you where brain dead when you got all gaga over
that disgusting bitch who didn't even give shit about you!"

Hold the fuck up, what did he say?

"What does Mai got to do with anything!?" Jounouchi eyes sparked
dangerously.

"OH the fact it shows that you're stupid, oh wait, a complete fucking
idiot! Who the fuck wants your third-rate ass!"

Jounouchi sideswiped three trays off the table, "YOU KNOW FUCK YOU
KAIBA! FUCK YOU AND YOUR GAH-DAMN MONEY!"

"Hey, I was eating that", Otogi whined softly in the background.

"YOU JUS MAD CUZ SOMEONE CAN ACTUALLY LIKE ME! PEOPLE FUCKIN HATE YOU!
THEY JUS PUT UP WITH YOUR ASS CUZ THEY HAVE FUCKIN KIDS TO FEED!"

"HA! AND PEOPLE NEED YOU SO THEY CAN HAVE SOME HUMOUR IN THEIR LIVES!"
Kaiba, wipe some of the cheesecake goop from his face and flings it
carelessly.

Some which got on Honda's coat.

"You know what Jou, screw him! He's just jealous since you have
friends that you don't need to bribe with money!"

Kaiba spies a banana on the table and tosses it to Honda, "Shut it up
and learn to be a better boyfriend! The whole fuckin' school knows!"

Otogi looks down in guilt; he knew he shouldn't have taken that last
glass of Bonzai at that school dance they had. Kami knows whatever
else he said!

Slamming the banana down, "Let me handle him, Jou! I'm about to
flatten this smug bastard!"

Kaiba snorted, "Oh and I'm sure you going to win like you won against
those hedge clippers you tried to use for scissors!"

Honda made a move to charge at the CEO.

However, the blond puts his hand to signal a halt.

"Naw Honda, I have a bettah idea. I'mma knock him down a peg or two.
He's gonna learn how fuckin amazin it is to have a net worth of
billions, and still don't be worth SHIT!"

Kaiba's eyes turn into slits, "Why you…."

"KAIBA, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"

END FLASHBACK

The rain fell into sheets now, has it violently hits the windows of
the game shop.

Lightning flashes, illuminating the garbage remains of a pizza party
as the T.V glows a bright blue signifying the end of a random movie
that was in the DVD player.

Everyone is sleeping soundly except Jou who sits against the
windowpane with an empty liter of Pepsi sitting by his side on the floor.

I wondah if Kaiba's lookin at da rain from dat fancy mansion of
his….the blond looks down at the newly put together deck of the
brunet's cards.

He picks them up and gently smells them. A smile softens tanned features…

Thank the gods they haven't lost that unique scent which was purely Seto.

He and Yugi had just picked up the last of the cards when the sky
literally fell. He then gently carried them in his jacket, using his
body to shield them.

Jou sighs into the scent as the phone abruptly rings causing him to
almost drop the cards.

A fern-shaped hairdo rises cutely over the couch, and the owner
scrunches his nose in confusion. After finally registering that it was
the phone, he slowly gets up and grabs it after the sixth ring.

"Moshi…Moshi", Yugi yawns into the phone.

Murmurs of what sounded like panic reached the ears of Jounouchi.

The tri-colored haired teen's eyes quickly snapped to attention. "Well
he's not here; he left the park hours ago alone."

The blond did NOT like where this was going.

"I'm so sorry but we'll be looking out for him", Yugi says as he
rushes over to the window beside a worried Jou.

"Ok, you do that and call us when you find him. (pause) You WILL find
him and please be careful…It's real terrible outside!"

With an audible click, the little Motou slowly lowers the phone.

"What da hell is it Yug'!" Jounouchi said in hesitant concern.

The small boy carefully looks up and takes his best friend's
gaze…."It's Kaiba…He's missing"

To be continued………

*ueda-sensei is a real person, she was my Japanese language teacher!