I Should Have Helped
What Happened at Duelists' Kingdom
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CHAPTER ONE –
WHAT HAPPENED AT DUELISTS’ KINGDOM
“
his servants had taken him at his word though he really hadn’t been serious. That
was just degrading, and he never quite meant to humiliate Seto in that way.
Seto Kaiba was not a dishwasher….
He saw that the
boy had, in fact, washed his share of dishes, however. He could tell by his
hands. The cuffs of his shirt and coat sleeves were a little wet – he was still
wearing that green suit and purple coat, a combination that even Pegasus,
though he was a major proponent of pink, would never be audacious enough to try
to pull off. And his fingertips were slightly wrinkled from being in the water
for so long.
He paced around
slightly as the soulless body of Seto Kaiba stood by the door. He knew what his
servants thought – he had had Seto brought to his bedroom, after all. They
thought he planned to rape him. Hell, if it were anyone else as beautiful as
Seto, or if he didn’t know Seto’s past, he might have, but he would never lay a
hand on Seto Kaiba without his permission. And since permission would likely
never be forthcoming, he would never lay a hand on him. Actually, Pegasus would
be surprised if anyone would ever lay a hand on the boy again, with or without
permission, after what his stepfather had done…
He sighed
slightly at the reminder of Gozaburo. They’d gone out for a year exactly, and
the man had been scary the entire time, but he had never expected him to be a
perverted child-abuser. Sure, he could be rough, demanding, a bit sadistic…
He picked up his
glass of wine from the desk and drained it, his long hair sliding back over his
shoulder as he tipped his head back. This was Gozaburo’s fault too. He never
would have started drinking if not for him… he might never have continued if
not for that night, the shock of seeing Seto like that and then having to be
careful of his own life for the next seven months until the man had mysteriously
disappeared. And now – he had no problem admitting it – he was a drunk.
fault was a threadbare comfort.
Pacing softly
back toward the doorway, he ran his hand into his hair and held his head for
just a moment. He wondered what the hell he was doing. Seto Kaiba was the last
person in the world he wanted here, in this condition. Even
looking at the boy made him feel guilty. If there was one person in the
world he had never had any real intention of hurting – and there probably was
only one – it was Seto. Ordering his goons to kill him hadn’t been too hard.
Sure, he had had to struggle with himself, but it hadn’t been too hard…
probably because he did not have to see him. He never could have given the
order to have him killed if he had been face to face with him.
And now, the one
person in the world he had the littlest urge to hurt or destroy,
was standing soulless in his bedroom, his hands still wet from washing dishes…
He felt incredibly dirty. This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was
supposed to happen! Everything was going wrong. Kaiba was never supposed to be
hurt – his company taken, perhaps, but not him. He hadn’t even known Mokuba
existed until the KaibaCorp board had told him, and that
actually managed to clear some five-year-old questions up for him, but it was
still never part of his plan. He had a dreadful feeling about tomorrow, and he
was sure he was going to lose to Yugi-boy… Nothing was going right. He felt
like he was being punished by the gods, and he could only guess what for…
He stopped
pacing, standing in front of Seto. He knew why he was pacing, why he was
letting his thoughts run away from him. It was so he wouldn’t have to look into
Seto’s eyes.
With a deep
breath, he took one hand and gently lifted Seto’s chin, so that he could look
into his blue eyes. And looking there, he knew exactly what he was being
punished for. Those blue eyes, a very beautiful color, really, were completely
blank. Soulless was not the word for them. They were dead. He was being
punished for cowardice, for being too worried about his own life to even try to
help Seto get away from Gozaburo. That was it, really. Karma was coming around
to bite him in the ass, for being a self-centered coward and jerk.
He noticed that
he was still holding Seto’s head. His skin was soft, softer than anyone had any
right to imagine any part of Seto Kaiba to be. The way he acted, he should have
been made of stones and thick leather, not mere flesh and blood. He spent a
moment stroking Seto’s cheek with his thumb before removing his hand and
letting it fall to his side. “I’m sorry, Seto,” he sighed, and turned away.
He should just
give Seto back his soul and his brother and let him go. If he didn’t want to
hurt him, he should stop doing so already. Besides a coward and an asshole, he
was a hypocrite, claiming to really care about him with one hand and holding
him captive with the other. He knew he wasn’t going to let him go.
were expendable, apparently, if it got him closer to what he wanted.
Pegasus sat on
the bed, leaning back on his arms, and inspected Seto. He had turned into the
beauty he had seen the potential for on that night five years ago, if you could
get past his attitude… or if you found that sort of thing sexy, which Pegasus admitted
he did, a little. Anyway, at this point, his attitude
wasn’t much of an issue. His body was pretty much all there was left of him,
right here and now. And what a body it was… Tall, slim – actually Pegasus suspected
that if he were to remove Seto’s clothes, which wasn’t
an unpleasant idea, he would find that he was actually quite skinny. But he was
strong, Kimo and Croquet had both been adequate proof
of that. Beautiful pale skin… beautiful face, when not twisted up in a sneer. And
his eyes… when they were filled with his bright fire, or even just his normal cold
contempt – but especially when they were filled with fire – they were gorgeous.
Absolutely gorgeous…
accusatory. They made him feel so dirty, still – he was disgusted with himself…
and he wasn’t going to change it any time soon.
He lay back on
his bed, staring at the ceiling. He just couldn’t look at Seto anymore, because
thoughts he banished with drink and obsession were beginning to break through. At
night, if he hadn’t drunk enough to make them leave him in peace, he sometimes
wondered what he had passed up with Seto that night… He had never had any
interest in him when he was a child, but he wasn’t any longer, and he wondered
if he still had those skills Gozaburo had spoken so highly of, if he had
forgotten everything he learn or if perhaps it was like riding a bicycle.
Gozaburo had claimed that he was good with his mouth… was great with his mouth.
He couldn’t help but wonder sometimes, if he was still even half-sober when he
finally went to bed. And now here Seto was, at the mercy of his every command…
“Stop it,
asshole.”
It didn’t work;
his thoughts still wandered in directions he had never wanted them to go. He
should just send Seto away before he did something that would haunt him for the
rest of his life. He couldn’t quite bring himself to do so, though. He opened
his eyes a little to watch him, watch him do nothing at all because he hadn’t
been commanded or forced to do anything. The idea of lording
over that beautiful body was appealing… too damned appealing. He should
send him away…
He stood up with
the intention of doing just that. He had to get rid of him, because he refused
to take advantage of Seto Kaiba like a certain other monster – and others, if
he was correct, others that Gozaburo brought home to him – had done so long
ago.
Standing before
him, though, he seemed to lose control of his actions. His mind shut down as he
tilted Seto’s face up slightly and slowly pressed his lips to his, kissing the
soulless, beautiful body.
Seto’s reaction
shocked him, the way is mouth obediently followed his every direction and
employed knowledge so deeply ingrained it had become habit. Seto captured his
tongue and lightly sucked on it, stroking it with his own, and though there was
no emotion in it, it was probably the hottest, sexiest, most seductive kiss he
had ever experienced.
He pulled away,
gagging, and stumbled back until he fell onto his bed. He sat there, holding
his head in his hands. He was shaking – he was so disgusted with himself that
he was physically shaking. He was as bad as Gozaburo, as bad as all of them. He
was just using the poor boy, just like all of them…
Taking a deep
shaking breath, he pulled himself together and stood up, walking to the door
without looking at Seto standing there. There was a guard just outside.
“Take him away,”
he commanded. “Lock him up – I don’t care where. But don’t touch him.”
The guard did as
he was told without speaking more than to say ‘
there with his back to the door until he was gone. Then he let his breath out
and lay face down on his bed, trying not to think about that kiss…