Seven Days of Stroke the Kitty

Title: Seven Days of Stroke the Kitty

Chapter: 2/7

Author: Bountyhunter_Danyella & YumeRyu (aka Lavender_Saiyajin)

Website: None

Rating: R

Genre(s): Humor/Romance/Action

Pairing(s): Katsuya/Seto

Summary: Everyone's been giving him sugar. Him being Katsuya. They learn to regret it.

Chapter Summery: Anzu's POV, Tuesday, and it begins to escalate.

Warnings: Sugard cad caffeine. Not a good combo. Hyperactive Katsuya. More than mild yaoi insinuations. Very shonen ai... kinda. Insanity is spreading.

Disclaimer: We don’t own them though we wish we did. So Yu-gi-oh! ain't ours.

Author's Note: Well, not sure if this is crazier than that last one, but... it's still pretty bad, though... Danye's asleep, and I don't really have much to say here... Check the ending A/N, though.

Chapter Word Count MSWord: 4005


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Chapter 2 - Too Bad He's Gay

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Tuesday morning, huh? Well, what with the way Jounouchi had been acting the day before, I thought that I might possibly be able to convince Jounouchi into... dressing a little different for Tuesday. In case he wasn't receptive, I brought along Otogi, who would have been able to goad him into it. Why are you calling me evil?

When we got there, it was fairly obvious that Jounouchi hadn't slept yet. He was still in his clothes from Monday, and there were no sleep-creases in them... So, we figured that he must have been given just a bit too much sugar the day before.

Surprisingly enough, he had been receptive to the idea of dressing up... But once we sat him down to get him changed, he started... squirming. It wouldn't have been so bad if he could have controlled it, even just a little bit, but... I had Otogi sit on him. And the squirming got worse. Along with the occasional hyper sounding "MNYA!!!" from Jounouchi, by that point, was also the occasional grunt, pained or otherwise, from Otogi. I'd actually managed to get him into a different pair of pants by the time he squirmed out of Otogi's grip... and went flying out the window. "MNYA!!!"

So, I grabbed some extra clothes for him, and we ran down to Otogi's rcycrcycle, so that we could chase Jounouchi down, in order to finish the task of getting him dressed for school. Of course, it was still going to be uniform. Just a little more goth, and more slutty, than Yuugi's clothes would have been fine by us. And it would have been completely in line with the school's dress code too.

But that's a little beside the point. He had jumped out of a fourth story window, so it had taken us a while to get to the bike, and by the time we did... Jounouchi was trying to start it. Fortunately, he seemed to have forgotten that he had opposable thumbs. "Jounouchi-kun!" Otogi had cried, diving for him. An amusing sight that was, too. A half naked Jounouchi being dived at by Otogi... even though he _was_ on Otogi's bike...

But he managed to catch the escapee wannabe feline. Fairly quickly, too. And then we managed to get the rest of Jounouchi's clothes on him. But somehow... and I'm not sure how, as none of us were even carrying any food... Otogi ended up with raspberry gelatin in his hair. Which Jounouchi then tried to eat, before bouncing off in the same fashion as he had Monday morning, very sproingy. "MNYA!!!"

And so began Tuesday. As if Monday hadn't been scary enough.

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When we got to school, we the strangest thing... There were about a dozen girls and several guys in a circle around something in the school yard. When we got closer...

"MNYA!!! Stroke my belly!!! Good servants!!! Stoke kitty's belly!!! MNYA!!!" They were around Jounouchi. "MNYA!!! MNYA!!!" There were even a couple of teachers there. I think that it was the math teacher that was stroking his belly.

Slightly awed murmurs arose from several of the girls... "Oooh, he's so muscular...*"

And I'd swear that the teacher said, "Oooh, his skin's so soft..."

And one of the guys was saying, "You'd never think he'd look like that, with how he dresses... What?"

Another guy answered. "You just as much as admitted to being gay."

"I'm bi, thank you very much. That way I can appreciate both genders..."

And Jounouchi said, "Kitty is basking!!! MNYA!!! Stoke the kitty!!!"

One of the girls groping him asked rather interestedly, "So, are you seeing anyone?"

"Nope!!! I'm tomcatting!!!" He sounded almost too cheerful when he said that.

"So you want to go out sometime?"

"I'M GAY!!!" He was _way_ to cheerful about rather vocally informing the entire school of this. What? Me? No, I knew; I am close friends with him after all. It's not like he really is capable of hiding just about anything he thinks. Well, he's rather... blunt... crude... straightforward. They're all good traits... in moderation; well, except for being crude. But he's very honest about what he feels; it's one of the things I respect most about him.

Everyone stared at him in shock, before the girl asked, "You're gay?"

"I thought everyone knew that." Yuugi commented from behind us. "It's not like he's a private person or anything."

"MNYA!!!" Jounouchi suddenly jumped up and flipped over the people around him, landing on all fours behind them. "ANZU!!!" He grabbed me from behind and proceeded to grope me rather enthusiastically, "Huh, padded!!! Sank~yuu Anzu!!! OH!!! Anzu's a GIRL!!! Cool!!!"

"For what? Oh, and you just noticed? And would you remove your hands?" I was rather understandably embarrassed.

"No!!! It feels weird!!! What's the draw!?! Anyway Sankyuu for helping me get dressed this morning!!! But why did you have Otogi sit on me!?!"

"Because you wouldn't stop twitching. And you needed to wear pants to go to school."

"But they feel wei~rd!!! Can I take them off!?!" He finally released my... person, but only to start taking off his pants.

I took swift action. What? Because it had taken me an hour of fighting him to put them on him, that's why. I was _not_ having that hard work go to waste. Besides, I knew that if I let him get much further I'd never get them back on him. "Keep them on! The school has a dress code, remember?"

"Oh, can I take them off after school then!?!" he asked me while twitching with his chain belt. Huh? Oh that was Otogi's idea. It fit though. But I'm not sure how he removed all but those two buttons on his shirt. They were completely gone! There was a little bit of thread left. But at least it was buttoned... sort of. Just those two buttons, and his fidgeting was not helping me refasten his pants. Huh? No, I'm not that way. I'm not having a 'sexual crisis' like Honda. Come on, you're his _father_! I wouldn't even _tell_ you if I liked him! Sure he's hot, but he's a friend. Not to mention, so gay it's not funny. But that teacher was right. He does have a visible six-pack.

After I finished fastening his pants and released him, he looked around swiftly, then ran off. Not far though, as we swiftly found out just why he had done that, "MALIK!!! Got anymore!?!"

"AAAAHHHHH!" was Malik's echo of him. "What are you doing? OH! Do that again!" Malik relaxed from his from his rather stiff sprawl into a rather...provocative sprawl beneath Jounouchi. He seemed to be enjoying it... a little too much, not to mention he started bucking into it, making a bad situation worse. What? Oh, Malik creeped me out. Sorry, I'll try to be more clinical in my description of what I saw happen. I didn't mean to sound rude.

"Jounouchi, what are you doing molesting that student?" That was the principal, who had also been standing in the crowd.

"MNYA!!! SUGAR!!! SUGAR!!! SUGAR!!! Aww, you don't have any!!! Must hunt SUGAR!!!" with that...explanation, he... bounced away. Again. That seemed to happen a lot. Usually leaving a stunned crowd behind him.

"I just had one of the best groping sessions of my life, and it was all for sugar... I feel used." Malik had that drugged look again, now that the entertainment had left. What? Oh, Malik usually has that look. I'm not sure why.

"Makes you feel like a discarded toy, don't it?" Ryou asked, from next to Malik. I hadn't seen him before, but then, he can do that. He has that sort of personality. Huh? Oh, the kind were you don't notice them until they draw attention to themselves.

Malik stood up and straightened his rather rumpled clothes before commenting, "I think I'm going to go find as much sugar as I can now, and hide it." Then he walked off.

"I think I'll go help him hide it." Bakura then followed after him. We found out later just what they were up to, and it wasn't...pretty, or sane for that matter... but then, with those two...

Well, after that not much happened, until class was about to start.

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Well, we were sitting at our desks as the bell had just rung, signaling the beginning of class. Kaiba-san was sitting at his desk working on something, when he suddenly let out a loud squeak, drawing the attention of the entire class to him. It turns out that Jounouchi, who had been sitting on top of his desk behind Kaiba, had licked the back of his neck, again, at least according to Honda. Then he put _something_ down the back of his uniform. I'm still not sure what. I had only a handful of times seen Kaiba with that pole-axed look, but on each occasion it was quite amusing. Just don't tell him I said that.

"Ne, Kai~ba!!! I'll lick you clean if ya want!!! MNYA!!!" Then I actually _saw_ him lick Kaiba's neck while trying to get him out of his uniform. Kaiba started struggling right there. Literally, flailing limbs and everything. Well, of course I enjoyed it, but then again, so did the rest of the class... because it was _Kaiba_. It's not every day you get to see Kaiba so discomfited, and by Jounouchi at that.

I'm still not sure how he managed to fit himself into Kaiba's lap, though. I mean, what with the desk and everything. "Ne, Kai~ba!!! You used that shampoo again!!! Can I have it!?! Or use it!?! I'll scrub yer back fer ya!!! MNYA!!!"

That's about when Kaiba started asking for help. Huh? Oh, he's rather...independent. It's just that Kaiba doesn't _ever_ ask for help. He's always been rather coldly formal. So, his pleading was rather amusing, not to mention shocking as well. "Get him off of me! Rape! Rape!" That last bit was hilarious. I mean they where both still mostly dressed.

"Nya!!! Nice!!! Can I keep ya!?! You never answered that!!! So can I!?! I think my dad would let me, so long as ya stay away from his office!!!" That's about when Jounouchi started bouncing. Huh? Yes, it was vulgar looking. But you _are_ his father and I didn't want to mention it. Well, for one, you're scary. What? Well, Honda doesn't have much common sense, so of course he would tell you stuff like that. You know, 'open mouth, insert foot'; he has a bit of trouble with that.

"Get. Off. Me." That would have sounded threatening if it wasn't a choked squeak.

"Not until you..." Insert pose here... "STROKE THE KITTY!!! MNYA!!!" This is around the time Honda and Otogi disappeared from class. Huh? Oh, I didn't really think about it at the time. I thought Honda had finally decided to tell Otogi about his 'sexual crisis.' I didn't find out until a little later that it was something more...interesting.

"I will _not_!" Kaiba actually managed to sound forceful that time. "I am not your toy!"

"Nya!!! Yeah, you are!!! YOU ARE ALL MY TOYS!!! FOR I AM...THE KITTY!!!" How Jounouchi managed to make what was supposed to be a rather dramatic pose look so vulgar, I'm still not sure. But then, a lot of things involving him and Kaiba during that time became that. _No_, I will not describe the position! "MNYA!!!" Yeah, he did that a lot. Huh? Yeah, 'war cry' is a good description of it. Do you mind if I use that from now on? Thank you.

"Mutt, I am not anyone's toy. Let alone yours. Besides won't Mai be jealous?" Kaiba apparently hadn't heard.

"Mai!?! EWW!!! SHE'S OLD!!! AND A _GIRL!!!" He attempted to whisper but it came out a squeak, "Girls have _cooties_!!! SAVE ME FROM THE COOTIES!!!" At that he was suddenly huddling against Kaiba's chest. Everyone in the class was, of course, laughing at the entire situation. Kaiba hadn't heard about Jounouchi's... um... declaration that morning.

"You're getting worse, mutt." Only Kaiba could be in a compromising position with another guy and still pull off dignified.

"I'm not a mutt!!! I'm a KITTY!!! MNYA!!!" After uttering his soon to be famous battle cry, he proceeded to nuzzle Kaiba's neck. "Nice!!!" And Kaiba...squeaked...again. He seemed to be doing that a lot around Jounouchi. "Can I borrow yer cell!?! Thanks!!!" Jounouchi was suddenly holding a cell phone and dialing a number. "Hi!!! Can I have a pet!?! I'll feed it, and walk it, and play with it and everything!!! I'll take _good_ care of it!!!" Oh, that was you? Huh. "But, but!!! I want him!!! But...Come on!!! What do you mean I'm not capable of handling a pet!?! I think you have me mistaken for you!!! Fine, fine!!! Bye!!! Love ya!!!" He had just enough time to hang up, before Kaiba snatched it back and pushed Jounouchi off of him and onto the floor. "Mou!!! So mean!!! I'll hide you from him then!!!" He was suddenly wrapped around Kaiba's legs. "I can hide ya in my room!!! He never goes in there!!! He say's it's one of the most terrifying places he's ever seen!!! Cool huh!?!"

"What the fuck are you talking about!?" It looked like Kaiba was having a panic attack. He got all pale, was sweating, seemed to be having a hard time breathing. What? Oh, the teacher was watching with everyone else. Yes, that was unprofessional, but what could I do? I didn't want to lose my hand. Huh? Oh, Jounouchi was very... violent when you get between him and what he considered his. Huh? Oh, he seemed to think that Otogi was his for a little while and nearly took my arm off.

"Well, yer mine, ya know!!! So, I got ta put ya someplace safe, ya know!!! Don't want ya getting hurt!!! That would be bad!!! MRAWRRR!!!" Jounouchi looked positively evil when he said that. Then he began to rub his face against Kaiba's leg in what I can only term as an affectionate manner. "Mine!!! MNYA!!!"

I decided that Jounouchi needed to be distracted quickly, so I did the only thing I could think of. I reached down the back of Malik's uniform shirt and grabbed whatever I could. "Hey, Jounouchi! I got pocky." Then, I swiftly threw it out the open window.

"POCKY!!! MNYA!!!" And he followed it out. Actually, I'm not even sure if it _was_ pocky. I just knew that I needed to get him out of there, before someone got hurt. Thank you, that _was_ rather clever. But I'm not even sure if it was pocky. I just knew it had to contain sugar. Hey, I know how these guys think. They are my best friends after all, not to mention I spend _entirely_ too much time with them.

I think that Malik would have started hitting on me if we hadn't found out then exactly _why_ Honda had dragged Otogi out of the room. Well, it turns out that Honda had managed to tape record a rather...incriminating conversation from the day before between Kaiba and Jounouchi. I didn't know that Kaiba could turn _that_ shade of red. It clashed with his uniform. What? You've heard this before? From who? _Honda_ said that? I guess he does have a little fashion sense after all. You want to know what was on the tape? Oh, you already heard it. Then I can skip that part. Saves us time. You don't mind if I get something to drink do you? Thank you, do you want something? Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes.

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Now then, where were we? Ah yes, the tape. Well, not much happened for a couple of hours after that, that I know of. Jounouchi disappeasomesomewhere in the school. I know for a fact that he didn't leave school grounds, because the next time I saw him he was still completely dressed. Just covered in sugar. I think he tangled with the school cotton candy machine. What? Oh, we got that a few years ago, for the school carnival. It had still worked then...well, until Jounouchi got to it. I still want to know where he got the caramel.

Well, the next time I saw Jounouchi, he was _bounding_ down the hallway hugging people. At least he wasn't kissing them. He was just covering them in half melted cotton candy. I think he lost the fight with the cotton candy machine, if his appearance was any indication. Well, I had been talking to Otogi about what we would try to dress Jounouchi in the next day, if he was still receptive, when I was witness to one of the most bizarre sights of my life. Jounouchi suddenly jumped onto Kaiba, who had been putting books in his locker. Not in his normal, at that point, way, being the one where the victim ends up on their back on the ground with him bouncing on their chest. This one was from behind and he became attached to Kaiba's back; like a leech to a bleeder and showing half as much of an inclination of letting go.

"MNYA!!! STROKE THE KITTY!!! MNYA!!!" I think that it was getting worse, which, until I saw it, I didn't think was possible. "BOW TO YER MASTA!!! MRAWRRR!!!" He was yelling _that_ at everyone else. How do I know this? He wasn't looking at Kaiba. Actually, he was looking. rather pointedly, at a group of preppies. And by pointedly, I mean full on evil glare. I didn't know that he could make it so well felt. He actually managed to _loom_ while attached to Kaiba's back. I have no idea where he learned that one. Oh, you? That makes sense.

Before anyone could say anything into the sudden silence, Malik suddenly attached himself to _Jounouchi's_ back and started ranting about Jounouchi being an evil tease. I don't know what he was talking about, as we had had different classes the period before. But then again, Jounouchi _was_ gone for quite a while. Maybe he did something to Malik. Anyway, the entire student population never got to find out just what happened, because Kaiba suddenly collapsed under the weight of, not one, but two teen psychos. Yes, I do have the right to call them that; you didn't see them. There was _laughter_! And not the nice kind of laughter, either. Jounouchi appeared to have entirely too much practice with that laugh.

"KITTY HAVE FUN!!! MNYA!!!" Jounouchi was also obviously enjoying being stuck between the two other boys entirely too much.

As demonstrated by Kaiba's yell of, "RAPE! RAPE!" This was, of course, after giving off a rather unmanly shriek when he fell. And I could understand why he was yelling that too. How? Well, let's just say that both Jounouchi and Malik's hands had disappeared onto his person. As he was trapped underneath them, this made it very understandable why he would be yelling that. Well, yes, I would more properly categorize it as screaming, but if I said that, then I _know_ Kaiba would find out. He does that. And yes, it did sound very feminine.

"BAI BAI, SHIRT!!! MNYA!!!" Jounouchi was apparently trying to strip Kaiba of his uniform top in the middle of the crowded school hallway. And Malik wasn't helping...well, he wasn't helping Kaiba, anyway. He _was_ helping Jounouchi though. I think he was working on the pants. I never did find out, because Honda ran up, grabbed Jounouchi out of the pile and ran off with him, yelling something about a crisis.

I think it was _that_ crisis. Why yes, Honda _does_ have issues. I'm glad I'm not the only one to think so. But before he got too far Jounouchi got free and let loose his...fearsome... war cry, "MNYA!!! YUUGI!!! WANNA PLAY!?!" Yuugi had apparently just exited the classroom, after finishing his talk with the teacher. Why didn't he dodge out of the way? Well, everyone, when they hear it, tends to freeze for some reason. Something about a feeling of impending doom. I have no idea how he does that. "PET THE KITTY!!!"

After Yuugi rather timorously petted a snuggling Jounouchi on the head, he was dragged off by a hyper, not that he wasn't already, Jounouchi, who said something about aliens and signals, I think. I didn't quite catch it. All I know, is that Kaiba skipped the rest of the day; Malik kept muttering about teases; Honda started complaining to me about his latest 'sexual crisis'; Otogi had disappeared somewhere with Ryou... and no, I have no idea what they were up to; and Yuugi came back at the end of the day looking wet, frazzled, and covered in sillying ing and dragging a rope tiedher her weirdly to his left leg. No, I don't mean ankle. I mean leg, like from ankle to thigh. With a bow. And the bow was separate. We eventually just cut off the rope, with Bakura's all too enthusiastic help. No, I don't normally trust Bakura near Yuugi with knives...let's just say that the two of them and knives have a bad history, and leave it at that.

Rumors? Well, let's see, there's the one about Jounouchi and Seto being secretly married. Yuugi and Jounouchi as bondage buddies, and no, those are not my words. There's the one that Yuugi's a glowy pod person. There was the one that Malik wants to screw half the school, which is probably true...at least, the good looking people. There's the one that I'm actually a guy in drag... that was annoying. And I think the last one was that it was all a conspiracy by the government to take over Mars... I don't get that one.

Oh, Wednesday? I wasn't there. I was busy preparing for a dance recital. Someone who was? Would Otogi work? Oh, here's his address. No, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Have a nice day.

Too bad Jounouchi was gay though.

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A/N: We finally remembered who the person we wanted to use for that other day, so, we don't need the votes on it anymore! Oh, and if you notice any running gags, be sure to mention them when you review! ^^

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* muscular: Apparently, in the anime Jounouchi has a six-pack. You see it when he dies, and has all those things stuck to his chest... But his shirt didn't come all the way off. So sad.