My life my pain

POV Jou


I was running away. Cowardly running away and I didn't care. I just couldn't stand around and wait for the rebuff I was sure to get. Of course Seto wouldn't want to be with me anymore, now that he knew how used I was. Not that I blame him, he deserves better.

I found the restrooms and luckily as always the men’s room was empty while a long queue had build outside the ladies room. I stormed into the room, already feeling tears of frustration streaming down my face. Why did that bastard have to show up? Why did he have to tell Seto all those horrible things, even if they were true? Why... had I ever gone with him in the first place? I can blame Yuki all I want, but in the end it was my own damn fault.

I went to the sink and splashed some cold water into my face, trying to get a hold of myself. But when I looked up and saw my own reflection staring back at me, I had to laugh bitterly. What a joke. Here I was all dressed up in fine clothing, all spruced up—god, even my hair was brushed and all shiny, but underneath it all... underneath that façade; I was still the worthless street punk that I’d always been, and would always be. I was 21 and working as a dishwasher-boy. I had been gay for ages and I’d only just now told my friends about it. Instead of looking for a steady relationship, I had slept around with all kinds of guys, not caring for names or intentions…and I thought I could be with someone as perfect as Seto Kaiba? The thought made me laugh harder. God, I was so pathetic. That Enrique guy was right. I should’ve just let the two of them run away together, instead of trying to dirty Seto.

Just now, I realize how fatal a relationship between me and Seto would have been for him. His reputation would have been ruined, if he was seen with me. Sooner or later my secrets would have come out, and what then? Seto would have hated me and I would have stood bad before the press.

I knew that I should have felt good about sparing him the embarrassment, but I couldn’t be happy. It hurt too much; knowing that my dream of being with Seto was never going to come true.

More tears welled up at that realization, and I started sobbing. Not being able to stand anymore I slid down to the floor and cowered into a corner, crying my eyes out.


POV Seto

Shit, were did he go?

“Hey Seto, too bad blondie ran off, but maybe the two of us could get it going. You know, for old time’s sake. I would...” He didn’t get any further, for I would imagine it’s difficult to speak while someone’s fist is in you moth.

Yuki stumbled to the floor from the strength of my punch.

“Listen Yuki. You and I are over. You made your choice and now you have to live with it. Be glad that I – for old time’s sake – don’t beat you into a pulp for what you said about Jou. Now piss off before I really get angry and forget why I shouldn’t seriously hurt you.”

I felt my whole body shaking with anger and I was about to explode. Yuki must have felt it too, because he quickly scrambled away.

When he finally vanished between the dancing bodies, I turned to the others. “Please help me find Jou. I need to talk to him. He doesn’t understand that his past doesn’t matter to me. He could have slept with the whole population of Domino and I wouldn’t care, as long as he loved me…please…”

They nodded and turned around, each one walking in a different direction. I too turned around and decided to check the bathroom first.

As soon as I opened the door to the men’s room my eyes fell on the small frame of my beloved huddled into a small ball in a corner. My heart ached at the sight. Slowly I walked over to him.

“Jou?”

Jou’s body shook at the sound of my voice. “Please leave me alone.” He whispered into his knees.

I sighed and crouched down in front of him. “Jou, look at me.”

Jou head shook.

“Please Jou, I…have something I have to say, and I would like to say it to your face.”

Jou’s head shook with even more resolve and I heard small sobbing sounds.

I sighed again. No helping it then. “Jou, none of my feelings for you have changed. I…I don’t care who your past lovers were, who you slept with, who you once loved. The only thing that matters to me is that you are happy and that you are with me. I would love for us to be lovers, but I…well, if you don’t want that right now…or ever…I would be content with just being your friend. Jou, as long as you are with me I don’t care about anything else.”

Slowly Jou’s head lifted up and he looked at me with shimmering eyes. “You say that now, but what happens when the media finds out that you’re not only dating a male street punk; but a male street punk who has slept with countless men, on a rather casual basis?” He said loathingly.

“Haven’t you listened to what I said?” I asked gently. “As long as you are by my side I don’t care for anything, not for Kaiba Corp., not the media and – as if I ever would have – about anybody’s opinion. Jou, I love you.”

Jou stared at me with wide eyes. “You mean that? All of it? I come before Kaiba Corp?”

“I’m insulted you think that you wouldn’t. Kaiba Corp is just that—a corporation. It could never surrogate a real person; especially not someone as precious to me as you… even Bakura comes for Kaiba Corp.”

An adorable little smile spread over Jou’s face. “Does he? Don’t ever tell him that. He will think you fancy him.”

“I think after today it’s obvious that my heart beats only for you; so no fear there.”

New tears made there way down Katsuya’s face, but he brushed them away with the back of his hands and smiled heartbreakingly at me. “I don’t deserve you, but I love you so much that I can’t help but be selfish. Please Seto, hold on to me and never let go.”

I nodded and did just that. I wrapped my arms so tightly around him that I feared he might cry out in pain and tell me to back of a little. I wanted to be gentler, but as I wasn’t about to loosen my arms around him I felt little kisses on the back on my neck and I shuddered. Never in my life, had something small like that, made my body ache as it was now.

“Jou?”

“Mhh?”

“Do you…do you want to go home with me?” I asked nervously; totally aware of what I as implying.

Jou leaned back from my neck so that he could look me in the eye, a mischievous glint reflecting in his own orbs. “You can take me anywhere, anytime you want, but before that…” Jou leaned forward and captured my lips. Without hesitation I opened my mouth and let his tongue slip in. I felt all my gustatory buds explode at once. How could something so sweat taste hot and spicy as well?

Jou licked at my lips, tongue, teeth…simply at everything and I grew harder and harder with every lick and nip.

“Jou, if you don’t stop that now, I don’t think we will ever make it out of this bathroom.” I moaned in-between kisses and Jou pulled away slightly.

“But I don’t want to let go of you.” He pouted.

“Who said you had too?” With that I stood up and lifted him into my arms.

“Uahh! Seto! What are you doing? I’m going to fall!” Jou said while laughing and looking frightfully at the ground.

“Thanks for having faith in me.” I said dryly. “But if you’re that afraid, why don’t you wrap your legs around me? Tightly.” I all but purred into his ear.

Jou visibly shivered, doing just as I said. “And how will you walk like this?”

I smirked and caught his buttocks with my hand. I scooped him up a little higher so that we were eye to eye. “Just like that.” I said and without further ado I walked outside the bathroom. I ignored all the stares and walked firmly to the back door of the club.

Normal POV

Ryou was getting nervous. He had gone outside the club to check the streets in hopes of finding the blond, but he hadn’t spotted him anywhere.

He was about to check another back street, when suddenly, something hit the back of his head forcefully. Limply he sank to the ground.

“Poor, poor birdie.” Yuki grinned down at the unconscious boy.


POV Jou

Hot, I felt so hot. It was like all my insides were on fire. I felt my skin burn where Seto’s equally hot hands touched me.

I was dying for him to remove my clothes and touch more of me. He was making all of my skin burn, but just as I thought that; he suddenly pulled away and looked down at me as I lay on the white sheets of his king-sized bed. I don’t really remember how I got here.

I remember him carrying me out of the club and not long, thereafter, Seto’s limo pulled up in front of us. Don’t ask me how Seto’s staff was always at the right place, at the right time.

I recall how Seto climbed into the limo and how his mouth fastened onto mine, and then the next thing I knew, I was lying on his sheets. I must have blocked everything out other than the feelings of his lips, tongue and hands on my body. When we arrived at the mansion he must have carried me out of the limo and into his house without releasing my mouth…this boy was a wonder to me.

“You’re so beautiful.” Seto whispered and I saw the truth shimmering within his eyes. It felt so amazing, that this wonderful, sexy, loveable person thought me to be beautiful… and maybe just a bit funny as well, because between the two of us it was definitely him that was beautiful.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you? Do you know how I almost broke down the day you accepted my friendship? Do you know how my heart felt like bursting that first time we kissed? And now I have you lying on my bed, looking like the angel you are. God’s Jou, now that you are mine…I don’t thing I will ever be able to let you go because you would take my heart with you for sure.”

Seto was blushing, embarrassed that he had actually relayed his feelings so bluntly and I knew that I would never forget his little speech. I had believed him when he told me he loved me. But now I believed that I had discovered a whole new dimension in regards to his feeling for me. I must have been a damn good soul in my previous live to deserve this man.

“You will never have to let me go Seto. If you will let me stay with you the rest of my life, I will be the happiest person alive.” I said, trying to keep my tears of happiness at bay.

“I promise I will keep you for all my life and beyond, Jou. I promise even after I die I won’t rest until our souls are reunited. We will be together in heaven or hell or wherever it is that we go. And if we are reborn, then I promise to find you again.”

Smiling at him I reached out and caressed Seto face with the palm of my hand. “Lets not talk about death or our future lives anymore, we still have this one and I want to savor every second of our time together…so, I believe you were about to remove my shirt.”

Seto grinned down at me naughtily. “Your shirt and every other article that hides you beautiful body from me. I want to see all of you—caress every inch; lick and taste you and all your delicious places.”

“You are all talk. Get on with it dragon or I will have to start without you.” To emphasize my point I started caressing my own body. I slipped my hand under my shirt and rubbed at my right nipple.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Seto grinned down at me and caught both my wrists in one of his hands. My body shuddered as I felt the anticipation run through it. Seto’s other hand slowly made its way under my shirt.

Within seconds the two of us were naked.


Normal POV

Bakura was running around the club in a frenzy. He, Yami and Yugi had seen Kaiba’s and Jou’s spectacular departure from the club. Jou had hung to the CEOS body as Seto carried him – what appeared effortlessly – out of the club’s backdoor. But now Ryou had disappeared. Bakura couldn’t find him anywhere – and what was worse – he couldn’t feel him either. This worried him, because if Ryou was conscious, he would have been able to locate him within minutes.

“Bakura, stop running around like a headless chicken. Maybe Ryou went outside to check for Jou and Kaiba. Come on.” Yami tried to play it cool, but to be honest, he too was worried.

POV Seto

“Do you like that? Do you like how my fingers feel on your nipples?”

“Gods, yes!!!

I chuckled. So responsive.

Jou looked at me with mock hurt. “Did you just laugh at me?”

“Sorry, but you’re so cute that I just couldn’t help it.”

“Oh, so you think I’m cute. Maybe I should show you the more aggressive side of me so you won’t laugh about me.” With that he rolled the two of us over so that he was now between my legs grinding his erection into mine. I couldn’t help but moan out loud. This felt sooo fantastic.

Normal POV

Slowly Ryou woke up. His vision was blurry and he felt like someone had hit him in the head with a baseball bat. His eyes widened. He remembered that something had hit him in the head. Panicking, he tried to rise from the dirty ground where he was laying, but realized that he wasn’t able to do so. His arms and legs were bound together.

“So, the little birdie is finally awake?”

With some effort, Ryou turned his head to the direction of the voice. “You…you are the guy from the club. Kaiba’s acquaintance.”

“Caught a smart one didn’t I?” Yuki said maliciously.

“What do you want from me?”

“From you? Nothing in particular. It’s just that my whore-of-a-wife left me when she found me with her crying nephew under me and now I need some cash.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“I know you don’t. As I said, its not you I want something from. It just happens that you hang around with someone that has money.”

“Kaiba.”

Yuki patted Ryou´s head. “Good boy. Yeah, I’m referring to dear old Seto. When I saw him today I thought we could hit off again. He was never one of my favorite lovers, but by far the richest…and when I saw the blond beauty with him…well; let’s just say that would have been a nice bonus.” Yuki sighed. “But of course Seto just had to fall in love with him. It would have made things so much easier if he had just wanted to fuck him…well, that brings us to why your here. Not my first choice, but as long as I get my money, I couldn’t care less about the means and you’re not ugly either, so I figured before I do anything else, we could have some fun.” Yuki licked his lips and caressed Ryou´s face almost lovingly.

“F…fun? What do you mean by that?” Ryou stuttered. A bad feeling was rising within him.

A sadistic grin spread over Yuki´s face. “Oh, I won’t tell you that now. Wouldn’t want to spoil all the fun after all.”

Ryou´s eyes widened with fear as Yuki forcefully yanked his trousers down to his knees.

“Bakura!” Ryou screamed in his mind.

POV Kaiba

“Do you really want it this way Seto?” Jou asked for the tenth time.

“Yes. I really do. Our first time should be special, and I’ve never done it this way before… Come on Jou, I’m ready.”

The head of Jou’s cock was positioned at my entrance. When I felt Jou’s body lying on mine – overpowering me – I knew that I just had to have him dominate me. And when I felt Jou’s fingers inside of me…wow.

It had taken a bit coxing on my part – to get him to prepare me – but he had finally given in and shown me the utmost care regarding every stroke and push—it had felt like he was caressing my insides. But now Jou was hesitating again. He was looking deep into my eyes, searching for any signs of unwillingness. “I love you Jou, take me; make me yours.”

Jou’s eyes softened and slowly he eased into me. I would lie if I claimed that it hadn’t hurt a bit, but none the less this was the most wonderful feeling I ever had. I felt so full, so complete. I felt like I had absorbed another being in my body. Jou’s thrusts were slow at first, but at my breathless pleading of ´harder´ ´faster´ and ´deeper´ he soon made the bed rock beneath us.

When we came it was like all gates of heaven had opened at once and I was sure that I would never in my life forget that feeling.

After Jou emptied himself in me, he collapsed on top of me and I suddenly realized that I loved having him there—this would definitely become my favorite sleeping position. “I love you Seto.” Jou whispered before we both fell into a deep content sleep.


Normal POV

Bakura heard Ryou´s desperate scream in his mind. Bakura had lost some of his powers when he was ´reborn´, but he still shared a bond with Ryou through the millennium Ring and so he could instantly transport to where the item was.

What he saw made his vision bleed red. His angel was lying on the floor. Tears were streaming down his beautiful face and…and behind him there stood a monster who was taking pleasure in his loves pain.

Bakura felt the powers within him explode and within seconds, the place was painted in blood. The only people within those four walls now were him and his tearstained angel.


POV Jou

I woke up and instantly realized something was wrong. I looked around and there was nobody besides me in the bed…I knew that couldn’t be right. I don’t know how I knew, but there was supposed to be another person lying beside me…if I just could remember their name!


So, finally after...almost three month here is chapter 19. Sorry for the long wait, but sometimes everybody just needs a break. Hope you liked the chapter. If you did- pleae review. If you didn´t- tell me what´s wrong with it.


Thanks to Crimson13 for etaing and doing a greate job.