My life my pain

Pov Jou

“But Jou…you…you…since when? And oh god, you like Kaiba? That’s…that’s just PERFECT. You are made for each other…god, why haden’t I seen it earlier?”

Yugi flung himself into my arms, obviously happy. That went easier that I could have imagined. “It’s wonderful Jou, but why didn’t you tell us earlier? Don’t you trust us?” Or not.

“Oh Yugi, I do. I really do, but I…when I first realized I was gay we were still in high-school and…”

“Why didn’t you tell me Jou? Why did you tell me it was disgusting when I confessed to you? God Jou, have you any idea how much you hurt me, and now you come out like this throwing it in our faces? I really don’t understand you.” Honda said accusingly. Otogi held onto his boyfriend’s arm and was glaring at me.

“I…I guess at the beginning I was just ashamed of myself, I thought it was wrong. I just couldn’t accept the fact that I was gay and I was afraid if I told you it wouldn’t be to long before my father found out. I was so afraid about his reaction- which was stupid I know now he accepted me without question it even turned out that he is gay too…I know it was stupid for keeping it for so long. I wanted to tell you all today…not like this of course. I’m sorry.”

Honda seamed to sense that I was sincere. His angry glare lessened a bit.

“Even though you are gay, what makes you think you have any right to keep Seto from going out with other guys? Just because you like him doesn’t mean he likes you back you freak. Do you really think the Seto Kaiba would go out with the likes of you, when he can have someone much more handsome, someone rich and famous? Who do you think you are?” Enrique bitched, and I was about to introduce him to my fists when I felt arms falling around my shoulders from behind.

“I don’t think you know who you are talking to. Let me introduce you. This lovely man here is the one who even your beauty fades in comparison. Money and fame mean nothing to me if he is not by my side. This is Katsuya Jounouchi, as of now my boyfriend, if he will have me.”

I didn’t dare to turn around, afraid that if I did the boy behind me would vanish, and I would wake up alone in my bed, so I was locking into Enrique’s anger contorted face till I felt Seto’s hot breath against my ear. “Say something.” He whispered and turned me around slowly. I stared at him. Looking into his deep blue eyes. “Say something.” Seto repeated with a desperate note in his voice.


“Did you…did you mean what you said? Would you like to be my boy…boyfriend even though you could have a supermodel like him?”

Seto nodded and I felt tears filling my eyes. “Pinch me.”

“I know something that will show you even better that this is no dream.” Seto grinned and leaned down.

I closed my eyes. God, every kiss we shared turned out to be better than the last. Better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. His tongue was in my mouth, inviting mine to play with his. Of course I accepted the invitation immediately. I was hard within moments. I didn’t care that we were in public or that all my friends were probably gaping at the sight of us. I never wanted to let go of Seto’s mouth.


POV Kaiba

Yes, yes, yes!!! I finally had Jou in my arm. Oh god, that kiss felt so good. Now that I knew for certain that Jou really wanted this, wanted me, I felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. It had been so obvious. All these times Jou had told him he valued me as a ´friend´, while giving me these longing looks…how could I have been so oblivious? But Jou too. He must have been blind not to see how crazy I was, am about him. And he was gay all this time. Why didn’t he tell me? I understand his explanation, not being able to accept ones sexuality, but…

Ah, whatever. As long as I finally had him, nothing else mattered. In fact, everything expect for Jou and the feelings he steered in me, I wasn’t able to register anything. Not the people standing around us or the loud music which was probably still playing.

I gasped when I felt Jou’s hand squeezing my ass, pressing my hips further into his. His other hand…oh god his other hand had just sneaked under my shirt and was caressing my lower abdomen…oh god, oh god, Jou, what are you doing to me? I was so painfully hard by now I feared my hardness would burst my trousers open. That was when I felt Jou’s third hand burying itself in my hair. Caressing my scalp. It…Wait! Third hand?


I tore my mouth from Jou’s and looked dizzily around for the owner of the stray hand. When I found him, my heart almost stopped. “Wha…what are you doing here?” I asked, astonished. I would never have thought (or wished for that matter) that I would ever see him again. Least of all here. “And stop touching me.” I added growling at the blond before me.

“Ach Seto, friendly as ever. And you were so passionate just a second ago. Say, why were you never like this with me? But of course HE would make anyone hot. He kisses great doesn’t he? Oh and the way his hips move when he is aroused. Really, I can’t blame you for falling for him. It was the same for me when he ground his hotness into me.” Yuki said, his hand still not moving away from my head.

Forcefully I yanked away from him. I grabbed Jou and shoved him behind me. “What are you talking about?”


“Oh, I know your little friend there. How are you Jou? Oh hey, I’m not married anymore, so when you are finished with Seto, why don’t you come and play with me a bit? Or I could join you two. I wouldn’t mind at all.”


“How dare you!” Jou shoved Seto aside, not at all pleased that someone would suggest he would share Seto. “Who do you think you are?”

“Oh, did Seto never tell you? I’m hurt. We once were quite close…” He said meaningfully.

Jou turned to me. “Don’t tell me he is the bastard who left you because it wasn’t good for his reputation and then dared to asked you to be his dirty little secret.”

I had no chance to say anything, for Yuki just jumped in. “Oh, you did tell him about me. That was nice of you.”

“Shut up. Tell me what you want and then piss off.” The bastard. I was quite sure I knew what he wanted- the only thing he had always wanted from me: money.

“Oh, I told you already. I would like to join the two of you for a few rounds.” Yuki grinned lecherously.

“What makes you think that either he or me would join the likes of you.” The disgusting pig! As if my Jou would ever...

“Oh Seto-chan, I remember times when you were just too eager to join me. But of course you were always a bit of a prude, but why don’t you let Jou convince you? I know he would have no problem with it.”

“What are you talking about. Don’t pretend you know anything about him.”

“Oh, but I’m not pretending. You know, after he and I had our little concur, I asked around a bit and was quite surprised that he had quite the reputation. What do you...”

“Shut up! Shut up you peace of scum!” Jou screamed almost frantic. His hands were balled into fists.

“You don’t have to get all defensive, Jou, its nothing bad. Guys all over the club scene praise your tight little ass and your wicked technique. They say you were open to anything and wouldn't expect anything in return. You would just service them and afterwards vanish quietly into the night without as much as a goodbye. Not that I would want that. I just want one time with you and afterwards you can move on to the next one. Is that a deal?”

I growled loudly. “I don’t know what your intentions are in trying to feed me those lies, but...”

“Lies? Who said these were lies? Just look at him and you will know I speak the truth.”

Not believing a word of his, but wanting to know what had him so convinced I would eventually believe what he said, I looked at Jou.

Jou had stepped back from me, his face constructed in anger, fright and...and guilt? The people standing around us...his friends were starring at him in disbelief. His expression was, to them, a confirmation of what Yuki had just said. “No, Jou, please don’t tell me...”

“He is a slut! I knew something was wrong with him, the way he kept staring at my ass while claiming he loves you! Be glad you found out so soon Seto, now you don’t have to be afraid of hurting his feelings and you can be with me. Come on, let’s get out of here and forget about that whore.“

Enrique gripped my arm and I was so stunned of what I had just heard that I was at first unable to react, but then my gaze fell on Jou again and I was shocked to see tears streaming down his guilt ridden face. I reached out for him, not being able to see him cry. I was restrained however by Enrique’s grip still on my forearm. “Seto come on. The slut is not worth it. I can show you...” Before I had the chance to shove him away Yugi was all over him.

“You better go now.” Yugi hissed.

“Or what?” Enrique snarled.

Yami stepped forward. “Or me and my friends...” He jerked his head in the direction of Bakura and Honda, who were dangerously cracking their fingers while looking gloomily at Enrique. “...will have to show you what happens if someone insults one of our friends.”

Enrique looked at me, and when he realized I was not making an effort to defend or follow him, he sneered, threw his long hair over his shoulder and walked away dramatically. Did I ever think he wasn't like Naomi and all these vain, over dramatic models? Well, even a genius like me can be blinded by beauty. Apropos beauty... I turned to Jou who... was gone!


Thanks so much to everybody who has reviewed, you made me so, so happiiiiii!!!

Oh, Enrique is made up...dont know any male models by name...


As always thanks to Kitsune Seven for betaing you too make me happiiiiii. (lol)

Note 13.07.07- Okay, I got a question to ask: I´m about to kill someone... either Yuki or Enrique, but my beta opted to kill both of them and I can´t decide... what do you think? Kill Yiki, Enrique or both? Oh of course there will be a reason why they have to die...

Sorry for adding this so late, but as I was thinking about the progress of the next two chapters this question came up... please help. You can either mail me or review... thanks.