Here it is! The final chapter of WCFSZPFF! How will it all end? Oh, I can just SMELL the ratings! Not much to say here, since only a handful of people read this story. Um...thanks for reading and have a nice day!
Wacky Crazy Funny Silly Zany Party Fan Fic
Chapter 17: Where’s Dartz In All This?
Once the gang finally gets Mai off of the CDL, the CDL brushes herself off and puts back on her Millennium Brassiere and holds her Millennium Wine Cup. She leaves the rest of her skimpy clothes lying on the floor. By the power of the Millennium Items that she possesses, her lovely lady lumps grow back to a more “normal” size.
“There! All better now. At least the souls that are still inside won’t be crushed now.”
“Um, Yugi?” says Joey. “Shouldn’t we, like, fight the CDL in a duel in order to release the rest of the souls that she’s kidnaped?”
“I’m too tired.” says Yami. “Let’s leave it for somebody else to do.”
“Okay.” everybody replies.
“Well, that was fun.” says the CDL. “But now it’s my bedtime, so off with you! I have school tomorrow. We’re going to learn what color an apple is! I’m so psyched!”
“Um, okay.” says the cast, nervously.
They waste no time in getting out of the Game Room of Doom as quick as possible. In the background, they could hear the CDL switching on the TV (of Doom) and watching cartoons. This only made them run faster. Surprisingly, they all made it out of the Dungeon of Unspeakable Pain and Torture more than twice as fast as it took for them to enter it and reach the Game Room of Doom. I heard that it’s the same way for plane rides as well.
“What does that have to do with anything?” questions Duke.
Absolutely nothing.
“Hey guys! I think I can see the shoreline!” shouts Serenity.
Indeed, they reached the same part of the island where Joey lost the duel with Ishizu in 1.25 seconds, making it the shortest duel of all time.
“I’m so proud of myself.” Joey beamed.
“I don’t think it’s something to be proud about.” remarks Mai. “Especially if you’re the one that lost the duel.”
“What duel? What are we talking about here?” asks a puzzled Tea. “All I remember is eating the huge cake that Mai was Fed Exed in, then thinking in a circle about friendship...”
“That wasn’t what
I was thinking about.” mumbles Joey. The rest of the cast, except for Serenity and Tea, nodded in agreement.
“...and then Strings came to your house, Yugi, and said all those horrible things, and the next thing I knew, I was on this island and my butt felt like it was on fire.” Tea continued.
Everyone grimaced at the thought. Some had to suppress the urge to vomit at the thought of Tea getting
any kind of action whatsoever.
“What? Why is everybody looking so sickly all of a sudden?” Tea asks.
“It’s nothing.” says Yugi. “So, how are we supposed to get off of this island?” he says, in a desperate attempt to change the subject.
Suddenly, they all hear something coming from the distance. Yugi switches to Yami, anticipating more danger. The noise comes closer, and they see that it is Kaiba and Mokuba on a ski boat. Kaiba grins madly at Yami, who immediately retreats back into his Puzzle, forcing Yugi out in the open again.
“Yugi!” Kaiba shouts. “Come with me if you want to live!”
Everybody is quite shocked at this and are too paralyzed to move. Suddenly (again), Kaiba and Mokuba’s ski boat is blasted to pieces by laser beams. There is a big explosion resulting from this.
“Oooohhhh. Ahhhhhh.” they all say.
Then they actually look up and see Kaiba and Mokuba in their Battle City blimp. Kaiba gets on his megaphone.
“Pathetic proto-robos. Trying to imitate
me, will you? Yugi! I am the real deal! This island is an active volcano! And it is about really to blow! Board this blimp if you want to live!” he says.
Just then, another pair of laser beams shoots the blimp, resulting in an even bigger explosion, which the cast, crew, and audience like. Looking up again, they see an entire city hovering above where the blimp used to be.
“Hmmpf. I don’t know how those androids got away, but I’m glad that I disposed of them when I did. Yugi! Come with me if...”
“Oh give me a break already.” Yugi says to himself.
He’s got to be the most obsessive fan you’ve got., says Yami, via thought-speak.
Worse than any fangirl I’ve
ever encountered., replies Yugi.
Meanwhile... “Grr...how could I have underestimated my foe so carelessly?” says Dartz to himself.
The foe’s special moves are whipping past him at break-neck speeds. Dartz is barely hanging on.
“You won’t defeat me!” he shouts. “Fist of Whatever Comes To Mind: Random Shooting Doubles Cards!!!”
He fires the ammo at the screen of smoke that’s ahead of him, hoping to hit his target. From behind the smoke, he hears his enemy.
“Super Fist of the Nose Hair: A Really Long Sentence or Phrase Following This!”
Dartz’s cards are sent back to him, all torn in two.
“Just who is this blond-afro man?!” he says.
But back to the story... We find Tea teaching Yugi and Joey how to play Duel Monsters, since her win-lose ratio is better than both Yami and Joey’s.
“Now that I think about it, that’s quite disturbing.” says Joey.
“Joey! Pay attention! Tea’s going to teach us how to use Trap Cards.” Yugi yells.
The others are off doing something else. Tristan and Duke are taking a romantic stroll around the island.
“FOR THE FINAL TIME, WE’RE NOT GAY!!!”
Suuurrreee...
Serenity finds Pegasus lying on the shore, gag and ropes being removed already. Bakura is plotting to take over all the cocoanuts on the island. Mai is being sacrificed by the natives to the enormous gorilla that lives on the island.
When they all eventually gather back to where they were last together, they see a boat off in the distance. Upon further inspection, they realize that it is the same retarded boat that brought them here in the first place. And up on deck, behind the wheel, was Marik.
“Marik!” shouts Yami, who knows that Marik’s pearly white teeth doesn’t affect him. “What are you doing here?!”
“Much time has passed since you guys came to the island. Now, it is past Battle City and I’m on your side!” he said.
“But, we weren’t there for Battle City. We were stuck on this island the entire time.” said Yami.
“No you weren’t.” quickly replied Marik.
“Oh. Okay.” says everyone.
They all board the boat.
“Just remember, it’s
totally not like I want to follow you guys home and find out where Yugi lives so that I can break into his house at night and steal his God cards and then rule the world. And also find out where Tea lives for reasons completely innocent of nature.” Marik reminds, licking his lips suggestively at that last part.
“Yep! Got it.” they all say.
The scene rest on the boat leaving Bigcreepypossiblyhauntedbutmostcertainlylethal Island, towards the moonlit sky, while we can still hear the TV blazing from the Game Room of Doom. But, the most important question is...where’s Dartz in all this?
Scene change to... “Heh heh heh heh, Ha Ha Ha Ha, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” laughs the CD- I mean, Dartz. We see that he has somehow survived his apocalyptic battle with his blond-afroed nemesis, and that he is now sitting in a very dark room. The only source of light is coming from his eerie, ominous TV (not to be confused with an “unholy TV”, which is sort of like a complete opposite of a “holy TV”). It is showing the gang on the boat and the CDL watching TV. And now she is taking a shower. What a perv.
“Yes. Well, that can’t be helped. Everything else has all gone according to plan. I have successfully tested Yugi’s full potential and the powers of his sexually confused friends. I even managed to put the CDL to good use, despite her trying every trick in the book to sleep with me. She still doesn’t get that my right hand makes a fine wife, and doesn’t talk as much. It only talks when I want her to. (Insert perverted, diabolical, Mandarkish, evil laughter [and pie] here). It probably would’ve been quicker if the narrator had just typed out a perverted, diabolical, Mandarkish, evil laughter and pie, than to use that old phrase. All that’s left to do now is to go through with the rest of my plan. It will involve many variables, all of which could be easily tweaked, causing the whole thing to go down in ruins. That’s why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must goooooo...according to plaaaaaaaan!” he sings, the last sentence at least.
The previous events actually happened in real life. Names, places, hair color, bust size, and sexual orientation have been changed to protect the innocent. This only applies to the narrator. As the credits roll... Yugi finally learned to play Duel Monsters at the first grade level. He still cannot accomplish the feat of defeating Solitare.
Yami was caught in a scandal after it was leaked that none of the colors on his head is his actual, natural hair color. He was taken into custody, where he was shaved everywhere, and we do mean
everywhere, and was put under house arrest to see what his natural hair color is. It is a dark chocolate brown.
Joey was sent to juvie after he was caught attempting to rape himself. He claims that a Mai Valentine forced him into doing so, so that she would finally consider dating him. Mai, who wished to remain anonymous, but doesn’t know that we are disclosing her name to the public, refused to comment.
Tea continued to slowly rule the world by going to country leaders, reciting her infamous Friendship Speech of Death, and threatening the leaders that she has plenty of material and that the only way she’ll stop is if they relinquish all control of their country over to her. She is currently working on taking total control over Hungary.
Tristan, in a desperate attempt to further hide his sexuality, decided to go on a reality dating show, with him as the main bachelor. The show was cancelled after the first episode after the audience didn’t believe that he was interested in any of the contestants, and the contestants felt the same way.
Ryo tried, once again, to make a blockbuster movie. After his inevitable defeat at the box office, he turned to a life of crime. He started stealing meat from delis and rocks from a hole in the ground that he found. He wasn’t apprehended until an anonymous tipster (with long hair and a murderous look in his eyes) contacted the police, which eventually lead to Ryo, in his villain outfit, which looked like it was created during an acid trip, climbing the Eiffel Tower and trying to swat at commercial airplanes. He was eventually caught and arrested, and was sentenced to two days in prison. He later escaped the same day that he was sentenced.
Bakura finally constructed his dream house of doom. He has yet to take total control of Disney World. He is currently teaming up with Tea in trying to take over Miramax. He is also teaching a college course in hula dancing.
Mai returned to her job as a stripper, even though she still denies that that is really her job. She is still bullheaded enough to believe that she is merely posing for random male strangers. She is currently dating 14 different guys, all at the same time, believing that each of them is the perfect boyfriend. She refuses to admit to any psychological problems.
Duke closed his shop in shame. He could no longer sell his “merchandise” and still maintain his dignity. He is currently rooming with Tristan, who so graciously let him stay at his place for very little. Rumors started spreading immediately. The two are still denying that they are a gay couple, despite offers to pose on the front cover of both The Advocate and Out magazine. He is currently unemployed.
Serenity somehow managed to keep her innocence throughout the entire story, give or take a few moments. She is currently in Domino High, and is valedictorian of her class. She still believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, unicorns, Tiger Woods, and other mythical creatures. No one is willing to tell her the awful truth.
Pegasus was put under house arrest after he was convicted of mass homicide. Construction on his island and his entire staff is well underway. Interestingly enough, all of his cards were unharmed, for they were locked inside a fire-proof vault. It shows what has priority over what in Pegasus’s head. He is currently developing his own kids show, which will hopefully never air, for there is a segment on the show called “Sit on Peggy’s Lap and Say How Much You Love Me.” Let us pray.
Marik was found being treated for herpes at an undisclosed clinic, due to his high, and high risk, sex life. Several people, guys and girls, were reported going to the clinic after this information was released. Marik was pronounced the father of a child and is to pay child support for the next 18 years. His world conquering plans have been put on hiatus.
Odion and Ishizu continued living a mundane life. They have reported that they’ve intentionally stepped down from the spotlight, in favor of the, more safer, life of the ordinary folk. Ishizu finally got some clothes on. The two will host the Oscar’s this fall.
Kaiba had to dispatch all of his clones because, quite frankly, he couldn’t tell who was the real Kaiba after awhile. He threw them all on an unsuspecting town, which never stood a chance against the monotonous androids. They are currently struggling to live above the poverty level. Kaiba also was confirmed to have OCD.
Mokuba is still Kaiba’s lap dog. He bought a leash to put on himself to further appease his big brother. Reports of incestuous behavior have not yet been confirmed. Skeptics say that he is NOT biologically related to Kaiba, due to the enormous height difference. Mokuba has refused to give DNA samples to the authorities, claiming that “Seto told me not to give anything to you!”
Dartz was never seen again. His fragile plan completely fell apart soon after it began. This resulted in him landing on Pegasus’s island. According to
The National Enquirer, he has been locked up in Pegasus’s prison basement, and is serving as Pegasus’s slave. We offer our condolences for his morbid future that lies ahead of him.
The Creepy Dragon Lady flunked her colors test the day after she lost the Monopoly of Doom. She lost her recess for that day. She is currently working on a manga that will entail all that had happened during the game, according to her point of view. She is also working on stealing more souls so that she can have her twin blimps once again.
The awesome narrator/author guy, who lost his astronaut and porn star jobs, is glad that this story is finally done. Now he can relax on his island resort, on top of his mansion, and launch meteorites made of rancid milk at opposing countries, and pigeons. He is also running low on groceries, but the nearest grocery store is across the ocean. He will resort to cannibalism shortly.
Well, that’s a wrap everybody! This is the end of Wacky Crazy Funny Silly Zany Party Fan Fic! And no, there will not be a sequel. Or triquel. Or one of those “this is how it all began” kind of stories. With only two reviews, and this thing being up for about a year now, I don’t really see any reason why I should make another one. Welp, it’s been fun. But, it’s past my bedtime now, and I need to strip for my cat. (awkward silence) Um, bye-bye!
What? What do you want me to say?! There’s no chapters left! This is it! The last one! I can’t even say “To be concluded” for this one! It’s over! Get a life. Same goes for the author...
