What Can Never be Forgotten or Forgiven

Title: What Can Never be Forgotten or Forgiven 11/?
Author: Kleptomaniac Can Opener
Pairing: Jou x Seto
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Yugi-Oh. It's almost as depressing as this fic.

Summary: Kaiba Seto has a good reason for hating Jounouchi Katsuya. But it's not until recent that Katsuya learns the past has a vicious bite when teaching you a lesson. "Sometimes, doing nothing at all is also a sin."

***Eleventh Sin***

Jounouchi looks for his brunet host, but can’t locate him in the huge manor. He meets Mokuba at the breakfast table, stomach growling but not distracting him from his search. “Morning, little buddy. Where’s Kaiba?”
“He had to go in to work early. Shi-chan said hi.” The blond grins broadly at the mention of his little sister. He doesn’t get to be with her as much as he would like. But at least with her and Mokuba being in the same club, he gets to see her without their mother knowing.
“She called this morning?”
“Yeah, but she didn’t want to wake you. She said she’s doing okay and she hopes to see you soon.”
“Cool, I hope to see her too.” Jounouchi frowns. “So why’d Kaiba go in so early?” Kaiba had returned late into the night, since Jounouchi knows for a fact he hadn’t gotten back to sleep until well after two, and he’s already back at the office?
“He’s working on a new VR game for Kaiba Land. He wants to get it out before the holidays. Hey, maybe he’ll let you test play it?” The idea is appealing to the blond.
“Sounds awesome, but I doubt your brother will agree. Gut-hating gets in the way of that and all.” Jounouchi fills his plate with the yummy foods in front of him, more than happy to chow down and forget about his mission for an hour or two.

The pair gravitates to one of the game rooms when they’re finished eating. It would be more fun if Jounouchi could keep the problem that’s sitting on his conscience like the proverbial elephant in the room quiet. But it’s poking and itching at him, not letting him immerse himself in the pixilated worlds. Mokuba frowns in concern.

“What’s wrong, Jounouchi-kun?” The blond sighs as he mentally gives up and flops onto the billowy goodness of a stuffed couch, letting the game controller drop from his hand.
“I just got a bunch on my mind, Mokuba.” The boy plops down next to him.
“Is it about Seto?”
“Got it in one. How’d you know?”
“I figured it had to be. I know you two fight a lot and that you don’t see eye-to-eye on most subjects, but this project your teacher is making you do is forcing you to see each other as people. Right?” Jounouchi blinks and stares hard at him.
“Are you really the younger one of us?” Mokuba grins.
“Hey, being a kid doesn’t mean I don’t notice what’s in front of my nose. So what is it about my brother I can help you with?”

Jounouchi rests his elbow on the couch arm then his cheek on his palm. “I was just wondering if he’s always been the way he is now.” The temperature in the room drops. The hair on the back of Jounouchi’s neck stands up. “You don’t have to answer!” he says in a rush. Mokuba, looking melancholy, shakes his head and stares at the top of his shoes.
“Seto wasn’t always the way he is now,” he says in a quiet voice. “He used to smile a lot, and he was cheerful no matter how badly Gozaburo treated him. He found time to play with me even though he was tired from studying. But then...” Jounouchi swallows. His stomach balls up with dread.
“And then?” Mokuba shrugs his small shoulders.
“I don’t know. He was in some sort of accident and had to stay in the hospital for a while. When he came back, he was...” His voice trails off as he sniffs and rubs his eyes, trying to stave off the tears from the memory. “He was different. Changed.” Grey-blue eyes stare up at Jounouchi, wavering with powerful emotions. “He stopped smiling and having fun. He became really cold. He started doing all those things that Gozaburo wanted him to do even though he hated it. He wasn’t Seto anymore.”

Jounouchi hugs the boy and lets him silently sob into his shirt. The blond bites his lip as he puts the facts together. It’s his fault that Kaiba’s the way he is now. He can’t deny it.

Jounouchi swallows, or tries to. There’s a thick lump in his throat. “Hey, don’t cry too much. My sis will kick my ass.” Mokuba gives him a wet chuckle. Thinking of what his best friend Shi-chan would do to her brother as punishment is always hilarious.
“Sorry. It just really gets to me.” Jounouchi pets through the boy’s thick locks.
“And no one will blame ya for it, kid. Promise I won’t tell.”

He’s glad the boy can’t see his eyes. His guilt must be showing as plain as day.

Mokuba only cries for a couple of minutes. Jounouchi watches with some concern as the child plasters a smile back on his face. “Thanks, Jounouchi-kun. I feel a lot better now.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I am, don’t worry.” Fat chance of the blond NOT worrying, but what more can he do?

It’s a quiet affair when dinner finally comes around that evening. Jounouchi’s both glad and near breakdown nervous that Kaiba doesn’t show up. He chews his lip more than his food. He knows he can’t be lucky enough to avoid the brunet forever, and he knows he shouldn’t either. Except Jounouchi doesn’t know what he can do to even start making amends.
He was the one to choose Kaiba that gruesome day.

Jounouchi excuses himself from the table early, having barely touched his meal. He collapses onto his bed, feeling exhaustion in his bones.

“Why... did I pick him? There were like a billion other targets.” Jounouchi closes his eyes and forces himself to dive back into those dark days. Even if he remembers the details, he doesn’t hold much hope for fixing things, but maybe, just maybe, he can do something to make things a little better. Somehow.

~

Thirteen was a hard age. His mother had already left with his baby sister, and his father’s drinking only kept getting worse. He rarely went home and instead stayed at the gang’s main holding. It was a rundown, two-story office of some sort. Jounouchi often sat by a window on the second story to watch the world go by when the others were out doing other things. Every evening after nine he would see this boy.

He was around the same age, tall and lanky but beautiful in that way that made Jounouchi’s loins stir. What really caught his attention were those blue eyes. Dark and expressive, holding emotions that Jounouchi saw reflected in the mirror every morning.

Jounouchi watched that boy every night, thinking and wanting. Then one day, when that willowy blue-eyed boy had paused to talk on his cell phone, Jounouchi went out to do something about his fascination.

The blond waited until his target slipped his phone back into his book bag before approaching him. The brunet was startled at his sudden appearance, or maybe it was his ruffian looks in general that made that expression appear on his smooth face. “Uh, do you need something?” His voice was clear yet had an edge of sharpness to it. Jounouchi liked him even more for it.
The brunet backed away, probably due to the smirk now on Jounouchi’s lips. “You...” He reached forward and swiftly grabbed his target’s wrist. “You’re like me, aren’t you?”
“What?” The boy jerked his arm but failed to break Jounouchi’s hold. The blond lifted his other hand, oddly gentle in comparison to his steel grip, and cupped the brunet’s face. He ran his thumb over the full bottom lip.
“You are, right?” A blush spread on pale cheeks.
“Stop that!” The blue-eyed boy succeeded in breaking Jounouchi’s grip, adding a knee to the stomach for good measure.
“Oof!” He had taken hard hits, but it had caught him by enough surprise that he had the wind knocked out of him. His prey ran for it before he regained his bearings. “Damn.” Anger and frustration began building. That boy was like him, wasn’t he? Why did he run away? “Damn it!”

It was a couple of days before he saw him again. The gang was hanging around in the city with no destination in mind, but a thirst for trouble. Hirutani was somewhere, which left Jounouchi more or less in charge of the group even though he was one of the younger members. Being Hirutani’s favorite had its perks. The guys were itching for action, their hormones getting out of hand as hormones tended to.

The guys had wanted a target, someone to play with for a while. Male or female, things like that didn’t matter. That’s when Jounouchi spotted the brunet. His blood heated, thinking of the recent rejection. “How about him?” Those three words were all that were needed.

~

Jounouchi trembles with the memory, his eyes snapping open to stare at the ceiling in horror. “Oh fuck. I’m such a fucking sick fuck!”

Of course Kaiba hates him. Even if he hadn’t recognized him from the days before, there’s no way Kaiba could forget him after what the gang had done. Those blue eyes... Those eyes had never left him the entire time.
And now those eyes bear the same look his had back then.

“He recognized my stupid ass the first day of Freshman year! He must’ve!” But had he recognized the brunet back? Nope, not a damn bit. But Kaiba remembered. Kaiba had known him with a glance. Kaiba has every damn right to want to tear his guts out with a spoon and string them on a Christmas tree.

His own damn pride and ego and all of that junk were what made him pick Kaiba as the target that day.
Jounouchi can’t change that.