Chimamire Namida

Chimamire Namida Ch. 10 - "Itami Nashi de Manzoku"
By Shawna

Ayumi rose slowly from the fog of sleep, groaning as she became aware of the dull throbbing in all of her muscles. She rolled over, but something was not right. Opening her eyes, she was at first startle fin find herself in an empty, unfamiliar bed, looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling. The events of the night before came flooding back to her and she relaxed in the bed. She was supposed to be here; it was all right.
But it was not all right. The pain pulsing through her body reminded her of that fact. She had been forced, she had given up her virginity, she had slept with Seto, he had made her his lover and nothing would ever be all right again. She thought of Katsuya, found herself wondering what he had been doing at the exact moment that Seto was ripping away her innocence, literally and figuratively. A hot sting spread slowly through her chest. She did not cry, she did not move or make any sound at all, but she knew that she was falling, that she was being swallowed by a complete and total misery. Presently, she was unable to just lie still and she rose slowly, gritting her teeth against the soreness. When she came out from under the covers, she was immediately embarrassed to find that she was not wearing anything, despite the fact that she was alone in Seto's enormous bedroom. Worse, though, was the fact that she had nothing to put on. She looked around, seeing the dress shirt Seto had worn last night draped over a chair. She snatched it up and put it on; it was far too large, the sleeves went past her fingers, the shirttails hung to her knees. It did not matter, though, so she buttoned it up as she was leaving the room. She had a sudden and driving need to be around Seto, but whether to scream at him or make love to him, she was not sure.
She found him in the dining room, which happened to be just past the base of the stairs. She peeked around the corner, wondering if anyone else was in the room. Seto was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and his wire-rimmed glasses seated on his nose, looking over the newspaper. He glanced up just as she looked around the corner, and a grin split his face.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Ayumi," he said conversationally, and Ayumi nearly hit the floor at his light attitude and easy speaking voice, as if they were little more than formal acquaintances, other than the fact that he had at least used her first name in addressing her. She did not respond, not sure how she should. Seto cast an appraising look at her apparel.
"You look cute in my clothes," he said teasingly. "I put all of your things in the guest bedroom, so you can go get dressed."
She took a tentative step into the dining area, knowing that she would have to cross it to get to the guest room, but not wanting to for fear someone would show up. She began to walk slowly towards Seto, with the intention of going right past him, but as soon as she was in arm's reach, he grabbed her about the waist and pulled her close to him.
"Ayumi," he said huskily, looking up into her eyes. "About last night, I just wanted to tell you..."
Ayumi never got to know what Seto wanted to tell her about last night, because just then she heard footsteps bounding down the stairs behind her. Before she could make any sort of move, Mokuba had entered the room, his hair even more wild than usual because he had obviously just gotten out of bed. He has humming, and walking quickly, but when his eyes fell on the barely-clad Ayumi caught in Seto's embrace and pressed against him, whatever song it was died in his throat and his mouth dropped open.
"Katana!" He gasped. "What are you..." He did not finish his sentence because he was not sure exactly what to ask her. Confusion, and something even like anger clouded his mind. This did not make any sense; he had thought that Seto and Katsuya were still involved, then he saw Katsuya with Katana and thought that they must be the new couple, and now suddenly here was Katana in Seto's arms, and she had obviously spent the night. Had she slept with Seto? He did not know why he should care about this; it was Seto and Katana's business only, but he cared about Katana. What was she doing?
"Well, you're up earlier than usual, Mokuba," Seto said easily, releasing Ayumi.
"Uh, yeah," Mokuba stammered. "I... I'm still tired, actually, so I, uh, I think I'm just going to go back to bed."
Seto grinned, understanding Mokuba's discomfiture. "All right then."
Mokuba started to turn around, but something outside the window caught his eye. "Uh, Seto? Were you expecting Katsuya over?"
The mention of Katsuya made both Ayumi and Seto jump, their eyes going to the window. Sure enough, there was Katsuya, striding up the driveway, his hands in his pockets, the wind in his hair. Something flared in Ayumi, he looked so handsome, so very much like the perfect boy as he was walking, but he was not the one who was her lover.
Seto went back to the newspaper. "Ayumi, run on into the guest bedroom and get into the bed and look asleep."
Ayumi did not have to be told twice. She took off, leaving the dining area and crossing the hallway to what she knew was the guestroom. There, she flung herself into the bed and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. It was not natural, though; her asleep in a still perfectly made bed. She rolled back and forth a few times, messing up the blankets and rumpling the sheets. That done, she put her head down on the pillow and closed her eyes just as the doorbell sounded. She could hear muffled voices, Seto greeting Katsuya, Katsuya talking excitedly. Several minutes of this passed, and then their footsteps were heading towards her and then the door opened slowly, and she tried to look and breathe as naturally as possible. There were several seconds of silence and then, with a yelp of excitement, she heard Katsuya dash across the room and then his body hit the bed right next to her, nearly causing her to be bounced off.
"Wake up, Ayumi," he said excitedly. "You made me a promise..."
Ayumi's eyes flew open wide when she remembered that she had told Katsuya she would sleep with him last night. Luckily, he did not notice her apparent jolt into wakefulness, being too busy trying to undo the buttons on the shirt she was wearing. She saw Seto eyeing her, obviously wondering what she had promised Katsuya.
"Katsuya..." She tried to push his hands away, but he was already undoing the last button and opening the shirt.
"Nothing underneath! Perfect," Katsuya said happily, jamming his knee between her thighs, opening her legs. He stuck two of his fingers in his mouth, briefly, and then pressed them between her legs, rubbing against her. Ayumi clenched her eyes shut; it did not feel good, her body would not respond to this. Katsuya did not wait long enough to see if she was responding, though, becausfew few seconds later he took his fingers away and unzipped his pants, moving them down just enough. He moved himself down, between her legs, and she felt him against her, she gritted her teeth, and then he thrust into her hard and she cried out in pain, not ready to take him and sore, so very sore from what had already happened in the past 12 hours or so. She pressed her hands to her face, covering her eyes with her fingers as tears stung their corners. Hot air hit her face and she spread her fingers a small amount, opening her eyes. Katsuya was breathing hard, staring down at her, looking confused and even angry, and she looked back up at him from between her fingers, feeling the tears still wanting to build in her eyes but fighting them. Katsuya was obviously upset and she thought it must be because of how she was reacting to him: not making any sound, covering her face and almost in tears. Her heart went out to him; this was not fair to him, she had promised him, she should give him pleasure and look like she was enjoying it. But she was not, and she was so tired and so sore and she could not bring herself to take her hands off her face or make any sound or do anything to make herself seem happier. All she could was stare up at Katsuya with a hurt expression on her face.
And then Katsuya began pumping into her hand fnd fast, apparently not caring about what he had just seen, and she gritted her teeth and closed her fingers over her closed eyes and tried not to think about the pain, but of course, she could not, because it dominated her whole body. She turned her head to the side, and held in a sob. Unfazed, Katsuya continued, hard and fast, with short, quick thrusts that did not penetrate all the way and even if they did it would not have been as deep as Seto. It was not fair to Katsuya, it was not fair to her; she should be enjoying her first time with Katsuya, she had always wanted to be with him and she did not want it to be like this but still she could not do anything. His hot panting covered her neck, but she felt nothing but the pain. Anger towards Seto flickered softly through her mind, this was his fault, his fault she could not enjoy being with Katsuya, but she was too tired to even put much thought to this.
It was over quickly. Katsuya went tense above her, she felt the warmth inside, and then he collapsed atop her, his weight crushing the air out of her lungs and forcing a sob from her throat. Fighting to keep in her sobs, Ayumi waited for Katsuya to rise off of her, which he did shortly, re-zipping his pants and acting as though nothing much had happened. He looked very calm, and Ayumi realized all at once that he was too calm and this probably meant that inside, he was not calm at all. Something was very wrong.
Katsuya crossed the room slowly, going towards Seto, who had stood by the bed and watched the whole thing with an apathetic look. He did not seem surprised to see Katsuya coming towards him and even when Katsuya reached him and gave him an angry stare, Seto was unfazed. A slap echoed in the room as Katsuya hit Seto hard across the face.
"You fucked her!" Katsuya cried, starting to shake with anger. "Seto, you fucked her! She was supposed to be mine, I was supposed to get her virginity and you told me that you didn't want her and I thought I meant more to you than this and you turn around and take out some little girl and then you fuck her! I can't believe you would do this to me, Seto!" Katsuya's eyes looked watery and he was ranting and raving but he looked as though he was about to cry. "I hate you!" He screamed at Seto, "I hate you!" He turned after this, pressing a hand to his face, and fled the room. Seto stood by, still not looking ruffled in the least, as the sound of Katsuya tearing down the hall and out the front door came dimly through the room.
Ayumi had kept her head turned away from Seto and Katsuya, but of course she had heard everything, especially what Katsuya had said. I was supposed to have her virginity… I thought I meant more to you than this…Katsuya was angry with Seto for sleeping with her, but she could not be sure if it was because he wanted Seto all for himself or if he wanted her. What Seto had told her last night came strongly back into her mind, He just wants to fuck you… It would seem now that this may have been the truth, though Ayumi had been working hard at convincing herself that Seto was just trying to hurt her by saying it.
Lost in thought, Ayumi had not paid attention to Seto but suddenly found him sitting on the bed next to her. He gripped her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face, but she would not look at him. He took her chin into his hand and turned her to face him, but she kept her eyes averted.
"Ayumi, I'm sorry about that," he said. "Katsuya... Katsuya is really an innocent, he doesn't know what he's doing."
Still she would not move her eyes to look at him. "You didn't try to stop him."
"He would have thought it was weird if I did, and besides," Seto paused. "You apparently promised him that you were going to have sex with him."
Now Ayumi looked at Seto, and her eyes were aflame with anger. "Who cares what I promised him? That was before you... Before you..." She could not say it, so she skipped it. "And why do you care if he thinks something you do is weird? Aren't you the dominant? Doesn't he usually call you Kacho?"
Seto eyed her steadily, his face impassive as always. "I was hoping to avoid making him angry, so he wouldn't have a little outburst like the one you just witnessed. I didn't think he'd be able to tell that you weren't still a virgin, but more importantly, you promised him something so you had to give it to him."
"You're disgusting," Ayumi said, rising from the bed, pulling Seto's shirt closed around her. "I\eavieaving. I hate you."
"Well, it seems everyone hates me today," Seto said nonchalantly. "I know Katsuya will be back though, in a few days at the most, once he calms down. He always comes back to me, begging for more."
"Well, don't expect the same from me," Ayumi said firmly, finding her clothes and pulling them on quickly. "I won't be coming back to you ever again." She winced when she pulled up her panties, and Seto caught the action quite clearly.
"You're hurt," he said easily. "But you'll heal, emotionally and physically."
"How can you be so sure? You've never healed emotionally."
This struck Seto and he stared at her, not saying anything. She eyed him for a moment and then finished dressing, not caring if, in fact hoping that she had, hurt his feelings. It would serve him right. She had no pity for him, for all that he had gone through, because he was doing it to others now. To her.
Neither of them spoke as Ayumi finished dressing, gathered her things and left the room. She did not want to have to call her mother, so instead she went and talked to Seto's driver, who consulted Seto and then told her it wobe abe all right if he drove her home. Ayumi could barely sit in the back of the limo; soreness throbbed through all her muscles. Her mother would know something was wrong, and Ayumi needed to formulate something to tell her.
As Ayumi had known might happen, her story was unneeded, as Miaka did not wait to hear it, but instead greeted her daughter inside the door with the usual backhand across the face. Ayumi had been expecting it and did not even flinch.
"Where have you been?" Miaka fumed. "I kept calling Seto's house, no one was answering. You were out somewhere else, whoring around, weren't you?" Something caught Miaka's eye. "You were!" She shrieked, grabbing Ayumi by the hair and turning her head, showcasing the bitemark on her neck. "You little slut! Who did you fuck?"
Ayumi scoffed. "Who do you think, Mother? Whose house did I sleep at?"
Miaka's eyes went wide. "And you're a liar, too! I don't believe that Seto would do anything with an ugly, poor, cheap, flat little whore like you!" Miaka moved to hit Ayumi again, but this time Ayumi was ready and she caught Miaka's wrist in her hand.
"Well, it's the truth, so you can just fuck off, Mother."
The face Miaka mad hea hearing this from her daughter would have been comical under other circumstances. As it were, she turned bright red and wrenched her wrist from Ayumi's hand.
"I want you out of this house, today," Miaka said firmly. "You don't live here anymore."
"Fine!" Ayumi said, trying to sound confident even as she began to feel panicked. "Fine! I don't want to live here, anyway! I hate you; I've always hated you!" And with this Ayumi stormed toward her room, grabbing a suitcase from the closet as she went.
A little over an hour after this, Ayumi was walking down the sidewalk outside what used to be her home, trying to look as though she knew where she was going. She had no idea. She could go to Seto's, but she had just told him that morning that she hated him and would not be coming back to him ever. She only had one really close girl friend, but she knew that she had no money and no room to accommodate another person. That left only one person, and she did not know that he would speak to her anymore, after finding that she had slept with someone else on the night she had promised for him. There was no other option for her, though, and so, with a heavy sigh and already formulating something to tell him, she began to walk, heading for Katsuya's house.

**To Be Continued...**