Search Within The Soul

Author Note: Yeah, I'm back! I do want to say The Better Father will be updated very soon. Just give me some time. Anyway, this fanfiction was based upon something I had on my mind. There is an oc in it named Alison. I hope you give her a chance. She's not a "Mary-Sue" persay, but she becomes key in this fanfiction, which is told entirely (or not always entirely) from Seto Kaiba's POV.

Disclaimer Note: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Just Alison and Mermaid Warrior.

Other warnings: Domestic abuse, blood, adult language, adult situations, cigarette use, suicide attempt, other warnings where needed.

Most of this fic is told by Seto Kaiba's POV

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Chapter 1: Remembering What I Did

Seto's POV

I sat there in front of my desk focused only on the computer screen.

But however the work was not on my mind.

I had more than you think.

I remember the pain in my fist as it hit flesh...feeling the tears slide from a pair of gray eyes.

God, I hurt that girl so badly!

I moved away from the desk and leaned against one of the windows in my office with my arms crossed as I stared out at Domino City. All I knew was pain and hurt...and then I inflicted it on those I truly cared about. Mokuba was an exception...why would I harm my own little brother? He looks up to me so much! Eight years ago, I remember hiding that four-year-old girl, as young as I was myself, from that bastard Gozoburo. He wanted her to stay on the streets and die. Back then I had a heart and seeing her pain just cut me to the core. She was forgien, which made things rather hard on her. Her English mixed with Egyptian, she was too frightened and too alone to be out there. I had Mokuba run out in the rain and sneak her in the mansion. Only he and I knew she was there. Shechedched me every day...the painful and tiring days of going through Gozoburo's abuse and harsh ways. She was the one that got me through that pain with Mokuba.

Mokuba calls her Big Sister.

I remembered those pain filled gray eyes staring at me with hurt and betrayal. She felt so betrayed by my actions. I promised never to hurt her and what am I doing? Hurting her...causing her pain she never deserved. I never felt like a bigger ass than I did right then and there. I frowned deeply and turned my head from the window sitting down again. Why should I care? Hell...she could leave if she wanted to.

But for some reason I do care.


Alison's POV

My Mp3 player played the song Broken by Seether and Amy Lee.

I had it on repeat.

I could not stop listening to it as I sat downstairs in KaibaCorp with shades over my eyes protecting a bruise that was there. Of course, I was getting funny looks from everyone. Everyone wondered why I wore shades over my eyes and in a building that the lights were nowhere near as bright as the sunlight. Not to mention it was raining that day, but who cares?

~I wanted you to know
that i love the way you laugh
i wanna hold you high and
steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it
serves me well
i wanna hold you high
and steal your pain


Because im broken
when i am lonesome
and i dont feel right
when you go away

You've gone away
u dont feel me ...anymore

The worst is over now
and we can breathe again
I wanna hold youh
yh
you steal my pain
away
Theres so much left to learn
and no one left to fight
i wanna hold you high
and steal your pain


Because im broken
when i am open
and i dont feel like
i am strong enough

Because i am broken
when i am lonesome
and i dont feel right
when you go away

Because im broken
when i am open
and i dont feel right
now i am strong enough

Because i am broken
when i am lonesome
and i dont feel right
when you go away

Because i am broken
when i am lonesome
and i dont feel right
when you go away

You've gone away
u dont feel me...anymore
~Broken by Seether feat. Amy Lee

By the fifth time listening to those words...I broke.

My nerves shot, my patience ended.

I stood up and walked calmly to the restroom.

After checking every stall, I locked the door and took off the shades. Underneath my tanned skin, you could see the darkening area on one eye. I stared at it in the mirror unable to tear my eyes from the scene as the memory, the flashback, just tore through my mind. He had promised to stop, he begged for my help to help him fight this poison in his mind. I knew Gozoburo had brainwashed him over the eight years I had seen the faggot. He turned an innocent child into a monster like him. I knew Seto could change. I had faith in him. I took the abuse since I knew it was not him doing this, but he was controlled by another force. All this time while trying to reach back to him, I had neglected my own mental status. I was so focused on bringing back Seto Kaiba, bringing him to where he should be that myself never mattered.

The stress clouded my mind...it was all I could take.

I balled up my fist staring at my reflection and slammed it hard into the mirror breaking it on contact. I felt bone and flesh break as I hit it with such force and dropped to my knees hearing the shatter of glass drop all around me. I could feel my blood down my fingertips as it dropped like tiny drops of rusty water to the floor below me. My sobs echoed the room and I just sat there. My other hand hit the shards of glass causing cuts there too, but I couldn't seem to grasp reality then and there. My mind as I knew it was a complete blank.

I was a hollow shell within my own body.


Seto's POV

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Come in!" I said harshly.

Roland walked in and bowed. "Sorry to bother you, Mr. Kaiba, but we have a situation downstairs."

"What kind of situation?"

"Come see for yourself."

Don't you just hate those words? They scare a person to death. I rose up from my seat and followed Roland downstairs to find a crowd near the ladies' room worried. "What's going..." I began when I heard the sniffling. I paused wondering at first if one of my employees was sick or scared. Then my head turned toward an area and I noticed one person missing.

No...please, God don't let it be her.

I swallowed hard and had Roland remove everyone from the area. My heart pounded as I found the key and unlocked the restroom. Yeah, I had to walk in the ladies room. I walked inside and heard a crunch beneath my feet. I looked down to see shards of glass and then saw a broken mirror with blood on it and beneath thas aas a trembling body. Her hand was bleeding badly and I saw blood again underneath her other palm. It took me a moment to regiester who it was and I knelt down in front of her. "Alison," I said and she had a blank look in her eyes. "Leave me alone, Seto," she whispered. "This is what it came down to...see what you have done to me?!"

Yeah, I deserved t..BI..BIG time.

But I ignored her plea for me to leave her alone.

I slowly lifted her into my arms feeling her suddenly go limp.

This was my breaking point...it was then I knew where I had to go.

And I was scared to go that far.
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A/N: Yeah, it's a little sad at first, but things get better I can assure you.