Resentment

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh and I'm not making any profit off of this.

Warning: "Ryou and Jounouchi sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Grossed out already? Then you
definitely don't want to keep reading this story as those two will be doing a lot more than kissing
by the time this story is over. I can't make it any clearer than this: This story will be yaoi. Not a
fan of yaoi? I can respect that, but I ask that respect my writing as well. If you choose to ignore
my warning and read this anyway I won't be held responsible for any offense you might take to it.
Not offended by yaoi? Then you should feel free to scroll down and enjoy.

Additional warning: This is an AU. There will be no millennium items here or any of the yami's.
Now before you freak out, it's not because I don't like them because I do. Honest. It's just that I'm
going to be putting these boys through some tough times and I didn't want to give myself the
option of coping out and solving all their problems with 'shadow powers' or murderous spirits
who leave no trace and therefore can't be prosecuted. Lets just hope I can pull this off.

Prologue

The news had hit Ryou hard. At sixteen, the last thing he had expected was to lose his father. The
call came in while he was seated on the couch eating a sandwich; his father had been killed in a
car accident in Egypt. Ryou's screams filled the house as the phone crashed down to the floor, and
he collapsed. It wasn't true, it just couldn't be.

When Yugi's worry over Ryou not showing up at the arcade caused him to stop by and check on
his friend, he found him sitting on the floor, knees drawn up to his chest, rocking back and forth.
Unable to get any response from the white-haired boy other than tears and trembling, Yugi had
become increasingly worried and called his grandfather. Sugoroku had raced over, and called their
doctor once he saw the state of his grandson's friend.

With some prodding, they were finally able to get some responses out of Ryou, and it became
clear that he had suffered an extreme emotional shock. The doctor said that since Ryou was no
longer dazed and was speaking, it wouldn't be necessary to take him to the hospital, they should
just put him to bed and keep an eye on him. If Ryou wasn't more responsive by tomorrow they
should call him back.

Between the two of them, Yugi and his grandfather had been able to carry the frail teen upstairs
to his room, where he had succumbed to the escape of sleep almost as soon as his head touched
his pillow. His sleep was plagued by nightmares that awoke him about every twenty minutes
though, and Sugoroku stayed up all night to watch over him.

When morning finally rolled around Ryou was more aware and responsive, but he was also
completely devastated. Sugoroku had to return to the game shop, but Yugi had insisted on staying
with Ryou. He had also called Jounouchi, knowing that not only would the blond want to be
there, but that Ryou would need him.

The two boys had been casually dating for about two and a half months and it was obvious to
anyone with eyes that they were crazy about each other. Jounouchi's boisterous somewhat blithe
attitude was offset by Ryou's quiet somewhat reserved personality. Where Jounouchi was quick to
rush in, Ryou was patient; where Ryou was one to just sit back and accept things Jounouchi
fought for what he wanted. Ryou was willing to sacrifice himself for others and Jounouchi always
went to great lengths to protect others. They seemed to have found a nice balance in one another.

When Jounouchi arrived, he had gathered Ryou in his arms and just held him. Ryou had clung to
Jounouchi like a lifeline and when Yugi had gone home around dinner time, they were still in each
other's arms, only parting when necessary. Ryou felt safe in the blond's embrace and was hoping
to draw off his strength. He needed to know that even though his father was dead, he wasn't
alone. As long as he could feel Jounouchi beside him, smell the faint trace of cigarettes, and hear
his voice, he could draw his strength from him.

Jounouchi stayed with Ryou for the next three days, taking phone calls, arranging things for the
memorial service with Ryou's somewhat estranged uncle, and calming Ryou when the nightmares
struck or the shock of his loss became too much for him. He spent the majority of those three
days just lng Rng Ryou cry in his arms. He didn't pressure Ryou about what he was going through
or how he was feeling, but when the white-haired teen talked, he listened.

On the morning of the fourth day, Ryou showered and came to the table for breakfast. He
continued to only pick at his food, but the fact that he was up and about was a good sign none the
less. Ryou had also finally asked about the funeral, and Jounouchi had explained that the body
was arriving back in the country that day and that his uncle had arranged for a memorial service
the following day. Nodding in quiet acceptance, he headed into his father's room and collapsed
tearfully on his bed.

Jounouchi gave him some privacy and, leaving a note, he headed home to get fresh clothes and an
outfit for the service the next day. When he returned, Ryou was sound asleep on his father's bed
and Jounouchi, who hadn't gotten much sleep himself lately, went down the hall to sleep on
Ryou's bed.

When he awoke, he heard voices coming from the livingroom and heading that way, he found
Ryou speaking to a tall dark haired man with the same soft brown eyes as the teenager. Ryou
introduced him as his father's brother Lee and explained that they rarely got to see each other
because he lived so far away. Now that Jounouchi was there, Ryou sat back and allowed the
blond to do most of the talking. He tried to follow the conversation, but was often swept off into
his own thoughts and unconsciously curled up next to the blond.

Lee had joined them for a dinner filled with somewhat awkward silences before returning to the
hotel he insisted on staying in. Jounouchi and Ryou sat up on the couch for awhile longer,
absently watching television. Ryou resting his head on Jounouchi's firm chest as strong fingers
stroked his hair, and it was after midnight when Jounouchi carried the sleeping boy up to his bed
before returning to the couch which he continued to use as a makeshift bed.

The memorial service had been tough. Ryou had been forced to say his final goodbye to his father
as well as politely accept the condolences of his father's friends and coworkers. While well meant,
these near stranger's sympathies did little to hehe dhe despondent teen, and it was only by drawing
support from Jounouchi's quiet strength that he made it through the service and burial.

Honda, Yugi, and Anzu had accompanied them back to Ryou's house afterwards and tried to
comfort Ryou as best they could. His uncle Lee had stopped by to let Ryou know that he would
need to go to his father's lawyer's office the next morning at nine for the reading of the will. He
then offered to stay, but Ryou had insisted it wouldn't be necessary. With a slight look of concern,
Lee had acquiesced and returned to his hotel.

The rest of aft afternoon passed with Yugi, Jounouchi, and Honda talking quietly in the
livingroom. Ryou was seated beside Jounouchi, and appreciated the distraction from having to
think about ythiything that had happened. The sound of their voices kept him from drifting into
his thoughts. Although he wasn't feeling very social, he even joined in occasionally.

Anzu spent her time in the kitchen doing the dishes that had piled up over the last few days, and
then moved on to finding places for all the flowers that had arrived. Jounouchi had just been
letting them accumulate on and around an old desk in the den. She also went through the cabinets
and managed to find several boxes of Macaroni and Cheese which she made the group for dinner.

By ten, everyone had headed home except Jounouchi and he and Ryou once again found
themselves seated on the couch. This time however, Ryou had no intentions of watching tv. He
had spent the laew dew days in a daze, and he needed to feel something, anything.

Jounouchi was caught off guard when Ryou straddled his lap and began kissing him. In all the
time that they had been dating, he had never seen him this aggressive. He had immediately opened
his mouth, offering it up to Jounouchi who slipped his tongue in, choosing to ignore the voice in
the back of his head telling him something was wrong. Ryou moaned as their tongues connected,
pressing closer to Jounouchi and allowing their groins to come into contact. Jounouchi moved his
hands to Ryou backside, trying to hold him in place as he felt his blood start to rush southward.

As Ryou pulled back for air, he began trailing kisses along Jounouchi's jawbone before tracing his
tongue along his ear. Jounouchi's head was spinning and he was unable to hold back a moan as
Ryou took his earlobe between his teeth and pulled on it. He could feel himself becoming hard
and tried desperately to clear his head.

"Jounouchi? I want you to make love to me..."

Jounouchi's heart skipped a beat. He had wanted Ryou from the minute he had laid eyes on him
and now here he was offering himsel...o...on the day of his dad's funeral. If only it hadn't been for
that last part...

"Ryou, I can't." Jounouchi removed his hands from the boy's backside and ignoring his body's
protest, lifted Ryou off of him.

Ryou looked at him with tearful eyes. "Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do! It's just that," Jounouchi paused, knowing he would have to tread carefully here.
"It's just that you just lost your dad, and you're not thinking clearly. I don't want you to do
something you might regret."

"But I want you Jounouchi. Katsuya, I want to thank you for being here for me." Ryou began
trailing kisses along Jounouchi's neck, and it took all of his strength to push the smaller boy away
from him.

"We can't..."

Ryou rose from the couch and stood directly in front of him. Keeping eye contact with Jounouchi
the entire time, hean tan to unbutton his dress shirt, slowly revealing more and more of his pale
flesh. By the time he had removed the shirt completely, dropping to his knees before the blond,
Jounouchi felt like he was going to have an aneurism.

Ryou was slowly moving his hands up Jounouchi's thighs, approaching the are the the blond's
body that was silently screaming for attention. Ryou noticed the bulge in his pants, and ghosted
his fingers over Jounouchi's arousal. The teasing touch caused Jounouchi to buck his hips seeking
additional contact, but Ryou's hands had moved to his belt. Jounouchi's more rational brain
warred with the desire flooding his body. He knew if he didn't stop this soon, he might not have
the nerve to stop it at all.

As he heard the sound of his zipper being opened, he let out a moan. How many times had he had
this dream? Ryou wanting him, pleasuring his body, and then offering himself up to the blond.
Jounouchi looked at Ryou, and although his brown eyes were obscured by his white bangs, he
could still see the tears trailing down the pale cheeks. It wast sit simple realization that snapped
Jounouchi out of his lust-filled daze. Never once in his fantasies had Ryou been crying.

When he grabbed Ryou's wrist to stop his movements those brown eyes had risen to meet his and
Jounouchi saw there what he had feared; desperation, fear, and overwhelming sadness. He wanted
to wrap Ryou in his arms, but knew it wasn't a safe move with the current state of his hormones.

"Ryou, we have to stop. You don't really want this."

A look of defiance flashed through the teen's usually soft features. "And how would you know
what I want?"

Jounouchi was taken aback by the tone of Ryou's voice but knew it was just his reaction to what
he took as Jounouchi's rejection. "I'm not really claiming to. I just know that this isn't right, at
least not now. Look at yourself, you're crying. What kind of person would I be if I took
advantage of that?"

The pale hands returned to stroking his thighs. "But I want you...I need to feel you inside me."

He felt his cock twitch at Ryou's words but fought to suppress the urge to give in. "I don't think
that's in your best interest Ryou."

"And losing my father WAS?" Ryou jumped to his feet in anger, a strange emotion to see on the
normally quiet teen. "I just wanted to show you how grateful I was and how much I lo-how much
I care. But if you don't want me that's fine. I'm alone now anyway, I might as well get used to it."
As a fresh torrent of tears began to flow, Ryou raced out of the room and Jounouchi heard his
bedroom door slam a few seconds later.

Jounouchi sank back onto the couch. He couldn't go after Ryou because he still had a raging
hard-on, but he couldn't just sit here either. Deciding it was best to take care of his situation first
and then go talk to Ryou, who would have hopefully calmed down by then, Jounouchi headed for
the bathroom. Normally, he wouldn't have jacked off in someone else's bathroom, but he really
wasn't left with much choice. Grabbing a wad of toilet paper he leaned against the counter and
wrapped his hand around his arousal. As he began to stroke himself, his thoughts wandered to the
white haired teen he always imagined for this activity.

He knew that the Ryou he had encountered on the couch hadn't been the real Ryou. That Ryou
was trying to ease his pain with a distraction, or perhaps prove to himself that he was still
worthwhile. It must be hard to have your entire family gone. Shizuka wasn't around nearly as
much as he would have liked, but at least she was alive. Same thing for his mom and dad. They
may not be the greatest parents, but as long as they were alive Jounouchi could see them and hold
out hope that things would get better. Ryou had hardly gotten to see his dad even when he was
alive, and now he was never going to see him again. Ryou must being feeling so lost.

Jounouchi increased the pace of his hand, and tried to suppress a moan as he got closer to his
climax.

Ryou, like most teenagers, had depended on his father to take care of him. Sure, he had a
part-time job, but it his his father who had paid all the bills and taken care of all the important
stuff. What was going to happen to Ryou now? He was only sixteen.

In the final seconds before his orgasm hit, Jounouchi's thoughts turned to the memory of Ryou on
his knees before him, hands teasing him with their gentle touches. It was Ryou's name that
escaped his lips as he released into the toilet paper.

Cleaning himself up and splashing some cold water on his face, Jounouchi collected himself
enough to be able to face Ryou. He found the bedroom door unlocked and slipped in quietly. The
curtains were open and Ryou lay on his side in the middle of his bed bathed in the soft moonlight.

Making his way softly across the room, he crawled up onto the bed beside Ryou. Ryou rolled
over to his other side so that he faced Jounouchi, although he wasn't looking him in the eye. His
gaze seemed fixed on the mattress beneath them.

"I'm sorry," Ryou'ice ice was barely a whisper. "I shouldn't have...I just wanted..."

He didn't need to express his thoughts in words, Jounouchi knew what he meant. He lay back and
pulled Ryou up against him, smiling when Ryou wrapped his arm around his waist and placed his
head on his chest. It wouldn't kill them to sleep in their clothes for one night.

"Don't worry about it ok?" He felt Ryou nod against his chest and brought a hand up to stoke his
snowcks.cks. "And you're not alone, I'll always be here. I promise."

He was making the promise to himself as much as he was making it to Ryou. He was going to do
everything within his power to keep Ryou from having to suffer anymore hardships. As he felt
Ryou's breathing even out, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreams of a future with the
white haired teen overtaking him.

Rambling from the authoress: Yippie! I finished the prologue for my first fic! Anyway, this fic is
going to be a great example of how twisted my mind is. I actually was inspired to write this story
by something I saw during the synchronized diving while watching the Olympics (This will seem a
lot weirder once you see what exactly it inspired me to write for these two) but I never claimed to
be sane...After all, I don't like to lie...What was I supposed to be saying? Ah yes, tune in next time
to for the visit to the lawyer'ficefice where our favorite white haired teen will receive some
shocking news.