Seven Days of Stroke the Kitty
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Yu-Gi-Oh › General
Rating:
Adult +
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
Yu-Gi-Oh › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
3,232
Reviews:
27
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own YuGiOh!, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Honda
Title: Seven Days of Stroke the Kitty
Chapter: 1/7
Author: Bountyhunter_Danyella & Lavender_Saiyajin (aka YumeRyu)
Website: None
Rating: R
Genre(s): Humor/Romance/Action
Pairing(s): Katsuya/Seto
Summary: Everyone's been giving him sugar. Him being Katsuya. They learn to regret it.
Chapter Summery: Honda's POV, Monday, and so it started.
Warnings: Sugar, and caffeine. Not a good combo. Hyperactive Katsuya. Mild yaoi insinuations...or maybe a little more than mild. We're not sure yet. We'll get back to you on that. It gets bad. Very bad.
Disclaimer: We don’t own them though we wish we did. So Yu-gi-oh! ain't ours.
Author's Note: Rabid plotbunny that foamed at the mouth. And everything. Even had fleas. Humor fleas. Rabid humor fleas. Even they foamed at the mouth. *shudders* It was scary... We creepy combo on sugar high. Especially when it's both of us on the sugar high... Wheee!! Hyperactive, late, sugar, Rolos, M&M's and now soda pop. And we were hyper without the sugar. POTSTICKERS!!!!!!!!! Sorry. This is also why you shouldn't eat black & white M&M's while writing a humor fic. Feeling like Quicksilver. Wheee!!
Chapter Word Count MSWord: 3580
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Chapter 1 - I Should Have Known Something Was Wrong
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I should have _known_ something was wrong; the way he was sitting on the bicycle rack should have given it away. If you've ever read Ranma 1/2, think neko-ken, only twitching. And the way he was looking at me.
"MNYA!!! HONDA-KUN!!!" And jumping, did I mention jumping? Even _that_ was hyper. And for the first time that week, I found myself on my back, under Jounouchi. "So nice to see you!!!" Even his voice shook from suppressed energy and cheer; he was still fighting it at that point.
"Umm...what are you doing, Jouno?" I asked frightened, disturbed, and in more than a little pain, as he had landed rather heavily on my chest. I still have bruises from that...and the other times; but we'll get to that later.
"I'm a KITTY!!!" He was milk-treading* my chest. That felt weird, very weird; not to mention the looks we were getting. And then he turned and apparently saw Yuugi. "MNYA!!! YUUGI!!!" And pounced. "You're cuddly!!!"
That's about when I realized that something had to be wrong with Jounouchi. And when I heard the maniacal laughter in the background, I knew it had to be so. Malik. I wasn't surprised; he always does that, or else he looks drugged*, but that's beside the point.
"Jou, what are you doing?" Anzu, and she just had to catch his attention...
"MNYA!!! ANZU!!! Padded!!!" Was he...he was petting her breasts. The laughter escalated, and the other evil freak joined in. No idea when Bakura showed up. It was somewhere between me and Anzu, I do know that.
"HENTAI!!!" And then, he was flying again; this time, away from her. Thankfully, for her sake... or his.
"MNYA!!!" he called as he flew towards you guessed it, Malik. "MALIK!!! YOU GOT MORE!?! YAGOTMOREYAGOTMOREYAGOTMOREYAGOTMORE!?!?!?!" Then he proceed to, I think, grope Malik very thoroughly.
"Jouno, I didn't know you felt that way!" I wasn't sure if it was just me, but he seemed to be enjoying that...too much. He was flat on his back, being straddled and groped...under his clothes... by Jounouchi, who was practically twitching. "You should have just said something." Malik was arching into Jounouchi's questing hands. There was no way I could have mistaken that for _anything_ else. Perv.
"Huh!?! OH SKITTLES!!! SANKYUU!!! OH, OH, OH!!!" Then he pulled some sort of drink out of Malik's clothes. How he managed that...well, I'm not going to ask Houdini*. "OH, OH!!! RASHID!!! MNYA!!!" I think that's his war cry, because he always yells that right as he's leaping. And he flies, he doesn't jump; he flies.
"Oh my god, oh my god! What's wrong with him?" She sounded halfway between laughter and tears. Much like I myself would have been if it weren't for that bruise currently forming on my chest. Either one would just cause it to hurt more.
"Is he possessed?" Leave it to Yuugi to ask the intelligent question.
"No," and so the insane one speaks. The insane one being Malik. "I was just conducting an experiment. It seems to be coming along quite nicely." Why was I not surprised that he was behind this?
"You're controlling him again aren't you?" I asked suspiciously. We'd had trouble involving Malik and mind control before this.
"No, just conducting an experiment." Then he started to laugh manically again. I don't think he knows any other way to laugh, and that's kinda sad in a way. Not sure what way, but I do know that it's in a way.
"Get it off me." And so Rashid speaks.
And then Jounouchi uttered the phrase that we would all come to know to well in the days to come, "STROKE THE KITTY!!!" All said while rubbing himself very provocatively against Rashid. We all just started at him in shock. That wasn't right on so many levels it wasn't funny. Not even _Malik_ found it funny. We all watched in this kind of dazed sort of horror, as Jounouchi paused, and then bounded away, saying, "POING!!!*"
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There's this sort of pity I felt for him... I'd been hiding actually, from Otogi's...uh...cheerleaders... especially the ugly one. So, I'd been sitting in the back of this room. Fortunately, no one saw me or it wouldn't have been as amusing as it was. You see, I had just finished reading this book, 'How To Be A Green Beret.'* What? You want to borrow it? Oh sure, I'll loan it to you later.
Anyway, as I was saying, Kaiba walked into the room. Apparently he was hiding from someone else, but it couldn't have been the same people or else I was missing something pretty big. I highly doubt that he was after Otogi's ass too...wait, did I say that out loud? Just ignore that.
So anyway, back to what I was saying. He was hiding in there too, for whatever reason. And then the entertainment showed up; apparently, he followed Kaiba into the room. Jounouchi! Apparently, Kaiba hadn't heard yet. There are some times his reputation works against him. Okay a lot of times, but this is one of them. So he hadn't heard yet about Jounouchi's little...thing. But he quickly found out.
Poor bastard wasn't even facing towards the door when it happened. It could have saved him a lot of embarrassment if he had...he could have dodged. But he wasn't, so it was very entertaining for me...and luckily I had a recording device on me. Does that make me evil? Just because I'm willing to publicly humiliate Kaiba?
Nah...I could done a lot worse. But how to prove it was him...? Huh? Oh, right, story. So anyway, Kaiba was just standing there, looking out the window, not noticing me may I add, when we heard the war cry. He didn't have the time to turn... "MNYA!!! KAIBA!!!" He was on his back. No, not Kaiba; _Jounouchi_ was on _Kaiba's_ back. Clinging like lichen to a tree or rock. "HOW'S YA DOIN'!?!" That did not look comfortable...for Kaiba that is. So it was all good. He needed to be brought down a notch or ten anyway.
"MUTT! _What_ are you doing on my back?" he growled. I swear, he _growled_. It was kinda weird coming from him, but it was fitting... Something makes me think that he's more of a dog than Jounouchi. But we're getting off track here... again.
"MNYA!!!" Oh god, he was doing was doing it again. And how the hell he was doing it from that position and still holding on I have no idea. And Kaiba looked...Huh? Oh, he was doing the rub thing. Like I was saying, Kaiba looked confused and almost frightened.
"Get. Off."
"Mmmm....Stroke the kitty!!!" He was rubbing more; not to mention, he was also petting Kaiba's chest where he could reach and still hold on. Kaiba looked even more panicked. As I said, amusing. Then Jounouchi started sniffing him. And I _swear_ he _licked_ the back of Kaiba's neck. "Nice!!! Mnya!!!"
I have to admit...he was right...that did... Wait, nevermind, you don't need to know that. So anyway, away from my sexual crisis; if possible, Kaiba stiffened more. I almost felt pity; well I maybe I would have if I didn't want to be in that position... Wait a second... You didn't need to know that. Okay, attention away from my sexual crisis, again. That's about when Kaiba collapsed onto the teacher's desk, though that did nothing to dislodge Jounouchi, who looked like he had no intention of ever letting go.
hat hat the hell's wrong with you?" Was it just me, or did his voice sound a little...off?
"Mreowr!!! Nice!!! Can I have your shampoo!?!" I swear by all the Kami that he _bit_ the back of Kaiba's neck. And if possible, Kaiba stiffened even more. If he kept that up, he would break his own back.
"WHAT?!" I'm not sure, but I think he had a minor heart attack at that. Sadistic? Me? Never. What do you mean I can't pull off innocent?! Ch'...some people. So anyway, back to story.
"Ya smell nice!!!" Oh god, he was rubbing again, and I didn't know that it was possible for the human throat to make that particular noise. He was....well...purring. NO, I'M NOT BLUSHING!!! The nerve of some people. If you're just going to make fun of me, why the hell am I telling you this? Oh. Yeah. That. Sorry.
"I what?" I think Kaiba decided to relax, or else he would have broken his own bones, 'cause he suddenly went boneless in Jounouchi's rather lecherous...I mean leech-like, leech-like, grasp.
"Ya smell nice!!! Can I keep ya!?! I'll treat ya nice, I can be yer sugar daddy; see, sugar!!!" Jounouchi shoved a handful of pixie sticks that he got from _somewhere_ in front of Kaiba's face.
"You're sugar drunk* aren't you?" Kaiba just stared at the pixie sticks and let himself be petted. Very nice...I mean...um...yeah...anyway. On with the story.
"Only a lit~tle!!! Mnya!!! So can I keep ya!?! I'll play with ya!!!" That was followed by a rather...nasty grope. Huh? Oh, not bad, just...vulgar...extremely so. Scarily so. The places he reached for. And Kaiba let him; I think he was a little shell shocked though.
"Play...right. Could you...let me go?"
"Nnn....You haven't stroked the kitty!!! Myah!!!" And...I think...fluctuated is the word I'm looking for. There's really no other way I can think of to describe it. That was beyond vulgar and approaching wrong. And Kaiba blushed so bad that it clashed _horribly_ with his uniform. I wasn't aware that...Jounouchi...could do...that! And no I'm not going to describe to you just what he did. Partially because of your relation to...yeah. Back to the wrongness.
"I don't see a kitty, I see a mutt!" Kaiba's prissiness grows in direct proportion to his embarrassment, and he didn't even know I was there either. Yeah I know, free shows, whatever. I'm just glad I caught it.
"I'm a _KITTY_!!!" It was an interesting pose. Especially when you take into consideration that he was attached to Kaiba's back the entire time. Then Jounouchi emptied one of the pixie sticks onto Kaiba's neck. That was...interesting. And yes I watched, I'm sixteen, give me a break. I have hormonal issues, man.
"Jounouchi! Get off!" Oh the panic, oh the panic. What do you mean am I being sarcastic? Of course I'm being sarcastic. Teenager, angst! Or whatever.
"Mmmm....good!!! This makes it _that_ much better!!!" He was eating the pixie dust. Kaiba almost fell off the desk 'cause he went so boneless. He was obviously _quite_ enjoying it. And I think I was really jealous of Kaiba at that point. Wait, did I say that out loud? Hey man, stop with the scary looming thing! Teenager plus hormones equals horny teen. So what do expect, a monk? Damnit, I've watched too much Inuyasha. Nevermind.
Anyway, if it weren't for Jounouchi's...um...grasp, Kaiba probably would have fallen off the desk. But fortunately, for my entertainment, it didn't and he didn't snap out of his happy place. What do you mean the look on my face? Um...hey...I...alright, I admit, I was enjoying watching it...but well... Wait, why am I making excuses to you? You're not _my_ dad. Oh wait...yeah...Anyway, back to story.
That's about when Yuugi almost found me. Instead he found them, "Eep!" And the door closed almost as quickly as it was opened. That...unfortunately had been enough to snap Kaiba out of his trance. So he went back to imitating a statue. So sad. What? Me? A perv? No...Whatever gave you that idea? So anyway...
"Jounouchi, let go!"
"You didn't stroke the KITTY!!!" He didn't do this to Rashid, but then again, Rashid is kinda...yeah. While Kaiba, on the other hand, is of similar age, good looking, smart, nice ass, athletic. Even I admit this, although I can't stand his personality. And just about everyone knows that Jounouchi's been crushing on Kaiba forever... Well, those that know his preferences anyway. Those that don't, have this tendency to think he likes Mai. Who's a little...old for us, anyway... Don't tell her I said that...she has...age issues.
"Hey!!! I said stroke the kitty, not pet the kitty!!! If I want ya to pet the kitty I'll tell ya, pet the kitty, not stroke the kitty!!! So stroke the kitty!!!" I think it's around this point that Kaiba realized that Jounouchi wasn't letting go. "Hey!!! You can do better than that!!!"
That's when Kaiba stoked Jounouchi's back with his knuckles, causing Jounouchi to arch and rub into Kaiba's back in _very_ cat-like move that caused Kaiba's receding blush to come back fully. Red normally goes fairly well with blue... but this was a rather purple-red that really didn't go well with the faded blue of the school uniforms.... but... It was...um...nice. What do you get off calling me a voyeur? You're listening, not to mention asking very screwy questions about _my_ preferences. Sorry man, but you're like my best friend's dad.
"Jounouchi, you're making my shirt ride up." Kaiba sounded like he was trying to sound annoyed but not quite succeeding.
"Flesh!!!" I didn't realize that Jounouchi could sound so evil with one word. Then he did _something_, I'm not sure what, but it caused Kaiba to make an odd choked squeak and try to twist away. "Oh, hey!!! Yer ticklish, co~ol!!! Must explore!!!" he added on a maniacal cackle. Not even a laugh. He _cackled_! God, that sounded evil.
And apparently he was right; Kaiba _was_ ticklish...and because he tried to hide it, it made it sound worse...almost as bad as before. Although, with where Jounouchi's hands were going, it probably was. "Let. Go!" My was he trying to sound pissed. We weren't buying it. That might have had something to do with the fact that he sounded rather...breathy. Sometimes it pays to go to school.
It was around that point that Jounouchi apparently saw something outside, so he actually let Kaiba go, which caused him to land on his back, on the desk with Jounouchi over him. And he gave Kaiba a kiss, then jumped out the window. To chase a kid on a bike...at least I think that's what he saw. I guess it's a good thing we were on the first floor... I think*. Hopefully.
A sprawled, shell shocked Kaiba is very...nice to look at. So I just sat there and watched for a while. After about ten minutes Kaiba finally sat up and pulled down his shirt (so disappointing) and looked around and finally noticed me. Damn.
"How long have you been in here?" Kaiba asked looking at me rather...embarrassed, harassed...whatever it was it was cute. And yes, I was quite disturbed thinking this about Kaiba. What do you mean denial?! Hey, I admit, he _is_ good looking. He's just a prick, and a control freak. Oh, I'm sorry.
"Since before you came in. And let me just say, naughty, naughty." What? Me vindictive? Whatever gave you that idea? And again, you're insulting my innocence. People these days, so rude.
"How much do you want?" Kaiba looked so evil. Actually he usually has that look, but still, that was more so than usual. And it sounded like he was going to bribe me. But I have standards you know. What do you mean, what standards?! I do so have standards. You don't have to be so insulting, you know. But anyway, I was really wondering how much he was going to try and bribe me with.
"How much what?" As I said, I was curious.
"Don't play dumb, you're good at it, but not even you would be that stupid."
"Hey!" Now that was just mean.
"Nevermind. It's probably all over the school by now, anyway, since Mouto walked in." With that Kaiba left the room and I decided to skip the rest of the day of school for personal reasons. Yo, now that was _low_! You going and accusing me of kipping school for _that_!* I had other reasons. I had copies to make. No, not of that. I'm banned from the school copy machine. I'm talking about the tape. No, I'm not going tell you what I did to get banned. Hey, stop looking at me like that. Fine, I was conducting an experiment. No, not that. I was seeing which would melt faste&M'&M's or Tootsie Rolls on a copy machine. What do you mean I'm juvenile? By the way, it was the Tootsies. No hard shell to worry about... Now who does that remind me of?
Anyway, Anzu told me what happened the rest of the day. It wasn't much, except the rumors that Jounouchi and Kaiba were having a mad passionate affair in an empty classroom and the entire teacher's staff walked in on them. What? It's rumors, what do you expect? And that was the mildest. There was that one where they were possessed by these lovers that had died in that classroom and were using them to have one last moment of pleasure before moving on. That one was weird. I didn't know our school was haunted. Huh? Oh yeah, turned out that it was actually partially true... there was apparently a bit of Romeo & Juliet syndrome and they had died in that room. And yes, it was double suicide. It was a teacher and a student actually. Apparently they had been found out earlier that day and decided they couldn't live apart. So tragic, ne?
Well, yeah, there were a couple of others. One about aliens, I didn't pay close attention to that one. There's always one about Kaiba and aliens. Well, the last one made a weird sort of sense. It was pretty much that Jounouchi was being possessed by a cat spirit. Yeah, well it had something with him saying, 'Stroke the kitty,' and his war cry. Yeah, that was abit. it.
Eh, go see Anzu about it. I wasn't as closely involved the rest of the week. Huh? Anzu's address? Sure. Here you go. Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M AN IDIOT?! ...Oh...I guess that was stupid of me to do.*
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A/N: Uhm... We don't really know how to explain this one... And we hope it fits with the Spring Fling Challenge. REM, if it does, please tell us... 'cause it's gonna be a get together fic for them... and... and... It is original. Very original. And we had sugar too. Lotsa sugar. I love sugar. So does Danye. So we're all even. Sometimes. But the beside the point.
This is a duel effort for the SFC... maybe. Hopefully. And review-wise, tell us all the running gags you find, so that we can post them at the end. So that everyone knows what was figured out. Hyperness isn't exactly leaving, so we go now... to write more. ^^
Oh! And we know who's doing what except for Thursday... So, it's a vote between Ryou and Yuugi.
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*milk-treading: that nice massaging-clawing motion that a very comfortable cat makes.
*On Malik drugged look: In the manga, when he's not laughing or being evil he looks drugged. Very drugged, he's got the slack jawed, droopy eyed look. Look up manga picture to see what I'm talking about.
*Houdini: Jounouchi. Pulling things out of weird places and all.
*Poing: What the ferret in Sluggy Freelance does. This is a promotion. Read it!! Read it!! (If you can find it. It's just a .com thing. Or .org. Or .net. Anyway...)
*How To Be A Green Beret: I used to watch News Radio constantly, and in this one episode one of the running gags was this thing where people were appearing and disappearing suddenly because they had read that book.
*Sugar drunk: You have gone bd thd the high and are approaching Pluto.
*I think: Basically, this can mean one of two things. Either Honda wasn't sure if that was a good thing... Or he wasn't even sure they were on the first floor. Poor boy was rather distracted.
* You going and accusing me of skipping school for _that_!: If you don't get this joke then you most likely shouldn't be reading this.
* I guess that was stupid of me to do.: Pretty much telling Jounouchi's dad just what he had been thinking about his son during all that.
Chapter: 1/7
Author: Bountyhunter_Danyella & Lavender_Saiyajin (aka YumeRyu)
Website: None
Rating: R
Genre(s): Humor/Romance/Action
Pairing(s): Katsuya/Seto
Summary: Everyone's been giving him sugar. Him being Katsuya. They learn to regret it.
Chapter Summery: Honda's POV, Monday, and so it started.
Warnings: Sugar, and caffeine. Not a good combo. Hyperactive Katsuya. Mild yaoi insinuations...or maybe a little more than mild. We're not sure yet. We'll get back to you on that. It gets bad. Very bad.
Disclaimer: We don’t own them though we wish we did. So Yu-gi-oh! ain't ours.
Author's Note: Rabid plotbunny that foamed at the mouth. And everything. Even had fleas. Humor fleas. Rabid humor fleas. Even they foamed at the mouth. *shudders* It was scary... We creepy combo on sugar high. Especially when it's both of us on the sugar high... Wheee!! Hyperactive, late, sugar, Rolos, M&M's and now soda pop. And we were hyper without the sugar. POTSTICKERS!!!!!!!!! Sorry. This is also why you shouldn't eat black & white M&M's while writing a humor fic. Feeling like Quicksilver. Wheee!!
Chapter Word Count MSWord: 3580
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Chapter 1 - I Should Have Known Something Was Wrong
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I should have _known_ something was wrong; the way he was sitting on the bicycle rack should have given it away. If you've ever read Ranma 1/2, think neko-ken, only twitching. And the way he was looking at me.
"MNYA!!! HONDA-KUN!!!" And jumping, did I mention jumping? Even _that_ was hyper. And for the first time that week, I found myself on my back, under Jounouchi. "So nice to see you!!!" Even his voice shook from suppressed energy and cheer; he was still fighting it at that point.
"Umm...what are you doing, Jouno?" I asked frightened, disturbed, and in more than a little pain, as he had landed rather heavily on my chest. I still have bruises from that...and the other times; but we'll get to that later.
"I'm a KITTY!!!" He was milk-treading* my chest. That felt weird, very weird; not to mention the looks we were getting. And then he turned and apparently saw Yuugi. "MNYA!!! YUUGI!!!" And pounced. "You're cuddly!!!"
That's about when I realized that something had to be wrong with Jounouchi. And when I heard the maniacal laughter in the background, I knew it had to be so. Malik. I wasn't surprised; he always does that, or else he looks drugged*, but that's beside the point.
"Jou, what are you doing?" Anzu, and she just had to catch his attention...
"MNYA!!! ANZU!!! Padded!!!" Was he...he was petting her breasts. The laughter escalated, and the other evil freak joined in. No idea when Bakura showed up. It was somewhere between me and Anzu, I do know that.
"HENTAI!!!" And then, he was flying again; this time, away from her. Thankfully, for her sake... or his.
"MNYA!!!" he called as he flew towards you guessed it, Malik. "MALIK!!! YOU GOT MORE!?! YAGOTMOREYAGOTMOREYAGOTMOREYAGOTMORE!?!?!?!" Then he proceed to, I think, grope Malik very thoroughly.
"Jouno, I didn't know you felt that way!" I wasn't sure if it was just me, but he seemed to be enjoying that...too much. He was flat on his back, being straddled and groped...under his clothes... by Jounouchi, who was practically twitching. "You should have just said something." Malik was arching into Jounouchi's questing hands. There was no way I could have mistaken that for _anything_ else. Perv.
"Huh!?! OH SKITTLES!!! SANKYUU!!! OH, OH, OH!!!" Then he pulled some sort of drink out of Malik's clothes. How he managed that...well, I'm not going to ask Houdini*. "OH, OH!!! RASHID!!! MNYA!!!" I think that's his war cry, because he always yells that right as he's leaping. And he flies, he doesn't jump; he flies.
"Oh my god, oh my god! What's wrong with him?" She sounded halfway between laughter and tears. Much like I myself would have been if it weren't for that bruise currently forming on my chest. Either one would just cause it to hurt more.
"Is he possessed?" Leave it to Yuugi to ask the intelligent question.
"No," and so the insane one speaks. The insane one being Malik. "I was just conducting an experiment. It seems to be coming along quite nicely." Why was I not surprised that he was behind this?
"You're controlling him again aren't you?" I asked suspiciously. We'd had trouble involving Malik and mind control before this.
"No, just conducting an experiment." Then he started to laugh manically again. I don't think he knows any other way to laugh, and that's kinda sad in a way. Not sure what way, but I do know that it's in a way.
"Get it off me." And so Rashid speaks.
And then Jounouchi uttered the phrase that we would all come to know to well in the days to come, "STROKE THE KITTY!!!" All said while rubbing himself very provocatively against Rashid. We all just started at him in shock. That wasn't right on so many levels it wasn't funny. Not even _Malik_ found it funny. We all watched in this kind of dazed sort of horror, as Jounouchi paused, and then bounded away, saying, "POING!!!*"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
There's this sort of pity I felt for him... I'd been hiding actually, from Otogi's...uh...cheerleaders... especially the ugly one. So, I'd been sitting in the back of this room. Fortunately, no one saw me or it wouldn't have been as amusing as it was. You see, I had just finished reading this book, 'How To Be A Green Beret.'* What? You want to borrow it? Oh sure, I'll loan it to you later.
Anyway, as I was saying, Kaiba walked into the room. Apparently he was hiding from someone else, but it couldn't have been the same people or else I was missing something pretty big. I highly doubt that he was after Otogi's ass too...wait, did I say that out loud? Just ignore that.
So anyway, back to what I was saying. He was hiding in there too, for whatever reason. And then the entertainment showed up; apparently, he followed Kaiba into the room. Jounouchi! Apparently, Kaiba hadn't heard yet. There are some times his reputation works against him. Okay a lot of times, but this is one of them. So he hadn't heard yet about Jounouchi's little...thing. But he quickly found out.
Poor bastard wasn't even facing towards the door when it happened. It could have saved him a lot of embarrassment if he had...he could have dodged. But he wasn't, so it was very entertaining for me...and luckily I had a recording device on me. Does that make me evil? Just because I'm willing to publicly humiliate Kaiba?
Nah...I could done a lot worse. But how to prove it was him...? Huh? Oh, right, story. So anyway, Kaiba was just standing there, looking out the window, not noticing me may I add, when we heard the war cry. He didn't have the time to turn... "MNYA!!! KAIBA!!!" He was on his back. No, not Kaiba; _Jounouchi_ was on _Kaiba's_ back. Clinging like lichen to a tree or rock. "HOW'S YA DOIN'!?!" That did not look comfortable...for Kaiba that is. So it was all good. He needed to be brought down a notch or ten anyway.
"MUTT! _What_ are you doing on my back?" he growled. I swear, he _growled_. It was kinda weird coming from him, but it was fitting... Something makes me think that he's more of a dog than Jounouchi. But we're getting off track here... again.
"MNYA!!!" Oh god, he was doing was doing it again. And how the hell he was doing it from that position and still holding on I have no idea. And Kaiba looked...Huh? Oh, he was doing the rub thing. Like I was saying, Kaiba looked confused and almost frightened.
"Get. Off."
"Mmmm....Stroke the kitty!!!" He was rubbing more; not to mention, he was also petting Kaiba's chest where he could reach and still hold on. Kaiba looked even more panicked. As I said, amusing. Then Jounouchi started sniffing him. And I _swear_ he _licked_ the back of Kaiba's neck. "Nice!!! Mnya!!!"
I have to admit...he was right...that did... Wait, nevermind, you don't need to know that. So anyway, away from my sexual crisis; if possible, Kaiba stiffened more. I almost felt pity; well I maybe I would have if I didn't want to be in that position... Wait a second... You didn't need to know that. Okay, attention away from my sexual crisis, again. That's about when Kaiba collapsed onto the teacher's desk, though that did nothing to dislodge Jounouchi, who looked like he had no intention of ever letting go.
hat hat the hell's wrong with you?" Was it just me, or did his voice sound a little...off?
"Mreowr!!! Nice!!! Can I have your shampoo!?!" I swear by all the Kami that he _bit_ the back of Kaiba's neck. And if possible, Kaiba stiffened even more. If he kept that up, he would break his own back.
"WHAT?!" I'm not sure, but I think he had a minor heart attack at that. Sadistic? Me? Never. What do you mean I can't pull off innocent?! Ch'...some people. So anyway, back to story.
"Ya smell nice!!!" Oh god, he was rubbing again, and I didn't know that it was possible for the human throat to make that particular noise. He was....well...purring. NO, I'M NOT BLUSHING!!! The nerve of some people. If you're just going to make fun of me, why the hell am I telling you this? Oh. Yeah. That. Sorry.
"I what?" I think Kaiba decided to relax, or else he would have broken his own bones, 'cause he suddenly went boneless in Jounouchi's rather lecherous...I mean leech-like, leech-like, grasp.
"Ya smell nice!!! Can I keep ya!?! I'll treat ya nice, I can be yer sugar daddy; see, sugar!!!" Jounouchi shoved a handful of pixie sticks that he got from _somewhere_ in front of Kaiba's face.
"You're sugar drunk* aren't you?" Kaiba just stared at the pixie sticks and let himself be petted. Very nice...I mean...um...yeah...anyway. On with the story.
"Only a lit~tle!!! Mnya!!! So can I keep ya!?! I'll play with ya!!!" That was followed by a rather...nasty grope. Huh? Oh, not bad, just...vulgar...extremely so. Scarily so. The places he reached for. And Kaiba let him; I think he was a little shell shocked though.
"Play...right. Could you...let me go?"
"Nnn....You haven't stroked the kitty!!! Myah!!!" And...I think...fluctuated is the word I'm looking for. There's really no other way I can think of to describe it. That was beyond vulgar and approaching wrong. And Kaiba blushed so bad that it clashed _horribly_ with his uniform. I wasn't aware that...Jounouchi...could do...that! And no I'm not going to describe to you just what he did. Partially because of your relation to...yeah. Back to the wrongness.
"I don't see a kitty, I see a mutt!" Kaiba's prissiness grows in direct proportion to his embarrassment, and he didn't even know I was there either. Yeah I know, free shows, whatever. I'm just glad I caught it.
"I'm a _KITTY_!!!" It was an interesting pose. Especially when you take into consideration that he was attached to Kaiba's back the entire time. Then Jounouchi emptied one of the pixie sticks onto Kaiba's neck. That was...interesting. And yes I watched, I'm sixteen, give me a break. I have hormonal issues, man.
"Jounouchi! Get off!" Oh the panic, oh the panic. What do you mean am I being sarcastic? Of course I'm being sarcastic. Teenager, angst! Or whatever.
"Mmmm....good!!! This makes it _that_ much better!!!" He was eating the pixie dust. Kaiba almost fell off the desk 'cause he went so boneless. He was obviously _quite_ enjoying it. And I think I was really jealous of Kaiba at that point. Wait, did I say that out loud? Hey man, stop with the scary looming thing! Teenager plus hormones equals horny teen. So what do expect, a monk? Damnit, I've watched too much Inuyasha. Nevermind.
Anyway, if it weren't for Jounouchi's...um...grasp, Kaiba probably would have fallen off the desk. But fortunately, for my entertainment, it didn't and he didn't snap out of his happy place. What do you mean the look on my face? Um...hey...I...alright, I admit, I was enjoying watching it...but well... Wait, why am I making excuses to you? You're not _my_ dad. Oh wait...yeah...Anyway, back to story.
That's about when Yuugi almost found me. Instead he found them, "Eep!" And the door closed almost as quickly as it was opened. That...unfortunately had been enough to snap Kaiba out of his trance. So he went back to imitating a statue. So sad. What? Me? A perv? No...Whatever gave you that idea? So anyway...
"Jounouchi, let go!"
"You didn't stroke the KITTY!!!" He didn't do this to Rashid, but then again, Rashid is kinda...yeah. While Kaiba, on the other hand, is of similar age, good looking, smart, nice ass, athletic. Even I admit this, although I can't stand his personality. And just about everyone knows that Jounouchi's been crushing on Kaiba forever... Well, those that know his preferences anyway. Those that don't, have this tendency to think he likes Mai. Who's a little...old for us, anyway... Don't tell her I said that...she has...age issues.
"Hey!!! I said stroke the kitty, not pet the kitty!!! If I want ya to pet the kitty I'll tell ya, pet the kitty, not stroke the kitty!!! So stroke the kitty!!!" I think it's around this point that Kaiba realized that Jounouchi wasn't letting go. "Hey!!! You can do better than that!!!"
That's when Kaiba stoked Jounouchi's back with his knuckles, causing Jounouchi to arch and rub into Kaiba's back in _very_ cat-like move that caused Kaiba's receding blush to come back fully. Red normally goes fairly well with blue... but this was a rather purple-red that really didn't go well with the faded blue of the school uniforms.... but... It was...um...nice. What do you get off calling me a voyeur? You're listening, not to mention asking very screwy questions about _my_ preferences. Sorry man, but you're like my best friend's dad.
"Jounouchi, you're making my shirt ride up." Kaiba sounded like he was trying to sound annoyed but not quite succeeding.
"Flesh!!!" I didn't realize that Jounouchi could sound so evil with one word. Then he did _something_, I'm not sure what, but it caused Kaiba to make an odd choked squeak and try to twist away. "Oh, hey!!! Yer ticklish, co~ol!!! Must explore!!!" he added on a maniacal cackle. Not even a laugh. He _cackled_! God, that sounded evil.
And apparently he was right; Kaiba _was_ ticklish...and because he tried to hide it, it made it sound worse...almost as bad as before. Although, with where Jounouchi's hands were going, it probably was. "Let. Go!" My was he trying to sound pissed. We weren't buying it. That might have had something to do with the fact that he sounded rather...breathy. Sometimes it pays to go to school.
It was around that point that Jounouchi apparently saw something outside, so he actually let Kaiba go, which caused him to land on his back, on the desk with Jounouchi over him. And he gave Kaiba a kiss, then jumped out the window. To chase a kid on a bike...at least I think that's what he saw. I guess it's a good thing we were on the first floor... I think*. Hopefully.
A sprawled, shell shocked Kaiba is very...nice to look at. So I just sat there and watched for a while. After about ten minutes Kaiba finally sat up and pulled down his shirt (so disappointing) and looked around and finally noticed me. Damn.
"How long have you been in here?" Kaiba asked looking at me rather...embarrassed, harassed...whatever it was it was cute. And yes, I was quite disturbed thinking this about Kaiba. What do you mean denial?! Hey, I admit, he _is_ good looking. He's just a prick, and a control freak. Oh, I'm sorry.
"Since before you came in. And let me just say, naughty, naughty." What? Me vindictive? Whatever gave you that idea? And again, you're insulting my innocence. People these days, so rude.
"How much do you want?" Kaiba looked so evil. Actually he usually has that look, but still, that was more so than usual. And it sounded like he was going to bribe me. But I have standards you know. What do you mean, what standards?! I do so have standards. You don't have to be so insulting, you know. But anyway, I was really wondering how much he was going to try and bribe me with.
"How much what?" As I said, I was curious.
"Don't play dumb, you're good at it, but not even you would be that stupid."
"Hey!" Now that was just mean.
"Nevermind. It's probably all over the school by now, anyway, since Mouto walked in." With that Kaiba left the room and I decided to skip the rest of the day of school for personal reasons. Yo, now that was _low_! You going and accusing me of kipping school for _that_!* I had other reasons. I had copies to make. No, not of that. I'm banned from the school copy machine. I'm talking about the tape. No, I'm not going tell you what I did to get banned. Hey, stop looking at me like that. Fine, I was conducting an experiment. No, not that. I was seeing which would melt faste&M'&M's or Tootsie Rolls on a copy machine. What do you mean I'm juvenile? By the way, it was the Tootsies. No hard shell to worry about... Now who does that remind me of?
Anyway, Anzu told me what happened the rest of the day. It wasn't much, except the rumors that Jounouchi and Kaiba were having a mad passionate affair in an empty classroom and the entire teacher's staff walked in on them. What? It's rumors, what do you expect? And that was the mildest. There was that one where they were possessed by these lovers that had died in that classroom and were using them to have one last moment of pleasure before moving on. That one was weird. I didn't know our school was haunted. Huh? Oh yeah, turned out that it was actually partially true... there was apparently a bit of Romeo & Juliet syndrome and they had died in that room. And yes, it was double suicide. It was a teacher and a student actually. Apparently they had been found out earlier that day and decided they couldn't live apart. So tragic, ne?
Well, yeah, there were a couple of others. One about aliens, I didn't pay close attention to that one. There's always one about Kaiba and aliens. Well, the last one made a weird sort of sense. It was pretty much that Jounouchi was being possessed by a cat spirit. Yeah, well it had something with him saying, 'Stroke the kitty,' and his war cry. Yeah, that was abit. it.
Eh, go see Anzu about it. I wasn't as closely involved the rest of the week. Huh? Anzu's address? Sure. Here you go. Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M AN IDIOT?! ...Oh...I guess that was stupid of me to do.*
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A/N: Uhm... We don't really know how to explain this one... And we hope it fits with the Spring Fling Challenge. REM, if it does, please tell us... 'cause it's gonna be a get together fic for them... and... and... It is original. Very original. And we had sugar too. Lotsa sugar. I love sugar. So does Danye. So we're all even. Sometimes. But the beside the point.
This is a duel effort for the SFC... maybe. Hopefully. And review-wise, tell us all the running gags you find, so that we can post them at the end. So that everyone knows what was figured out. Hyperness isn't exactly leaving, so we go now... to write more. ^^
Oh! And we know who's doing what except for Thursday... So, it's a vote between Ryou and Yuugi.
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*milk-treading: that nice massaging-clawing motion that a very comfortable cat makes.
*On Malik drugged look: In the manga, when he's not laughing or being evil he looks drugged. Very drugged, he's got the slack jawed, droopy eyed look. Look up manga picture to see what I'm talking about.
*Houdini: Jounouchi. Pulling things out of weird places and all.
*Poing: What the ferret in Sluggy Freelance does. This is a promotion. Read it!! Read it!! (If you can find it. It's just a .com thing. Or .org. Or .net. Anyway...)
*How To Be A Green Beret: I used to watch News Radio constantly, and in this one episode one of the running gags was this thing where people were appearing and disappearing suddenly because they had read that book.
*Sugar drunk: You have gone bd thd the high and are approaching Pluto.
*I think: Basically, this can mean one of two things. Either Honda wasn't sure if that was a good thing... Or he wasn't even sure they were on the first floor. Poor boy was rather distracted.
* You going and accusing me of skipping school for _that_!: If you don't get this joke then you most likely shouldn't be reading this.
* I guess that was stupid of me to do.: Pretty much telling Jounouchi's dad just what he had been thinking about his son during all that.