rate_review Reviews

hey I have some ideas

I'm the guy who did the second review on your last story. This still has problems, but is a considerable improvement. The story is purposefully funny (particularly when Jack is confused at Yusei being the most popular guy in school when he's not a jock), the grammar and technical aspects are *vastly* improved and it's much more readable. It stands to see if the sex is better, admittedly, but already it's toned down a lot from "Sexy Football."

Overall, it's a big improvement and encouraging as such, it shows you're making more of an effort. Good job.