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January 3, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Hi, please don't think I'm a total b*tch but, I like your story it has a good plot and the begging was excellent. But, I all went down hill from there.
You moved too fast, only giving dialogue. When you write you have to describe your character actions and their emotions. You have to build up suspence and tragedy so the reader can relate. I hope I wasn't to hard on you. Your story can be great! Just put a little more heart into it. Keep going
You moved too fast, only giving dialogue. When you write you have to describe your character actions and their emotions. You have to build up suspence and tragedy so the reader can relate. I hope I wasn't to hard on you. Your story can be great! Just put a little more heart into it. Keep going