schedule
August 9, 2010 at 12:00 AM
As a puppyshipping addict, I have to say I'm eager for more. You have no idea how much I was hoping Seto's search for his pen would lead to a search of Jou's pockets. Ah, but I'll have to wait for gropage.
The "Jou's dad is abusive, Seto saves him" set-up is tried and true, and for a reason--angsty guilt is always yummy. I think your next chapters (and presumably/hopefully lemons *please*) could be stronger with a few specific sensory details thrown in here and there, to keep the character study stuff in scene. Temperatures, textures, lighting, things that help your audience see/feel the story.
I'll be watching for more!
The "Jou's dad is abusive, Seto saves him" set-up is tried and true, and for a reason--angsty guilt is always yummy. I think your next chapters (and presumably/hopefully lemons *please*) could be stronger with a few specific sensory details thrown in here and there, to keep the character study stuff in scene. Temperatures, textures, lighting, things that help your audience see/feel the story.
I'll be watching for more!