AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Goodbye

by BrianJustin4Ever

person TheGreatSetoKaiba
schedule May 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Personally I'd avoid terms like "moist cavern" and "amethyst eyes" when "mouth" and "purple eyes" get the same point across. In my opinion, moist cavern is more reminiscent of a vagina.

In addition I think you should probably double-check your work for spelling mistakes and names, otherwise it seems kind of sloppy.

This is the last time I'm writing this review, and that's a Seto Kaiba guarantee.