rate_review Reviews

great story, i hope you continue writing in the future!

I usually dont like it when these have a... healthy..ish? relationship, I'm more into the angst and the abuse (Bakura IS a horrible bastard after all) :D but this fic is becoming the exception. I want them to get the happy ending D:

*jaw drops* This is amazing. You know I flipped past this story twice before the summery actually caught my attention and I stopped to find this wonderful work. I personally love how you take the time to make the reader understand why it is that Bakura isn't sure of his feelings. And the conflict you have going to make it interesting instead of just throwing them into bed together with a sudden change of heart. I'll be on the look out for the next part and this time I'll try not to miss it.

The writing style is a head above the rest, but I recommend a little more character-leading time. You can't just jump into an action for a character without explaining it.

This chapter seriously struck a chord in me, and it amazes me how vividly you could describe the attack on Yami Bakura. It makes me unbelievably sad that things like that happen in real life, but it also connects me to the event as well. And the fact that Ryou's plan and day were ruined by some homophobic cretins frustrates me to no end. That doesn't really help Ryou's cause to show his yami it's alright to like him. I just hope he can salvage it.

I loved the ending to the chapter...Ryou blaming the spirit when Yami Bakura just wanted to protect and comfort him, yet not knowing how to show it exactly. I can't wait to see the follow-up to this chapter. Keep up the excellent work! You've got a really good story here, and I'd love to see where it goes next and how it ends.

Interesting...

Update soon please!~

Hello! It's nice to see a new author on here, and to top it off, a good one as well. Personally, I love the vocabulary you've used. It seems to make the story flow, and every description makes the story very easy to imagine. There are only a few places where you needed a semicolon instead of a comma, but I'm just nit-picking with that. Commas aside, your grammar is excellent! I like that you've worked to make sure everything is in its proper place.

Now, on to the story. It's very intriguing so far. I'm not exactly sure where it's going to go, so it's certainly caught my attention. I also like the way you've portrayed Ryou and Bakura, especially with Ryou having a backbone. He's not as weak as most people think. I'm looking forward to seeing how he reacts to being caught and how Bakura responds to his emotions. Don't worry: I definitely am enjoying this! I'll be waiting for an update, and I'll see you then.