rate_review Reviews

Sorry this is so late. I am so behind. Great chapter. the Rod thinks it is strong and the wielder of chaos but it is really just a destructive force with no care for those that would wield it. It is destroying the very thing that it needs. I hope they can overcome the millenium items war.

Ok Sal, you are really going to end up hating me. . . sorry.

I don't understand why Mokuba would be jealousy of the Rod, angry at it as he understands who/what is behind this, but definately not jealousy.

The story itself as the Rod now tells its tale is almost hypnotic in its telling until the line "Time passes in strange ways . ." and the section ends with "I am rewriting history"

Once again great imagery, but I don't have a clue as to what is going on. . . which drives me nuts.

Not everything has to be buried in metaphysical verbage to get an emotion across. Sometimes simplicity is best. And by that I mean a simple sentence structure, so that the reader knows what the speaker, whether it be human or item, knows what is actually going on.

Looking forward to the next chapter, please don't hate me XD
bahen

Good capter. Poor Mokuba is still so confused about this. So maybe it is not the Yamis but the items themselves. I love it.

This is powerful stuff Sal. You are right on target here, a strong plot with great characterization. So please keep going in this vein. .

As to the story - so you've given the items personalities/identities. Each jealous of the other - how cool is that? And of course the Rod would hate that blasted puzzle. But I think something else was going on here.

If I'm understanding this correctly, Mahaddo is the one bedding the Pharaoh. And Seto the HP is not quite happy with this? But then I get the feeling that neither is the Pharaoh.

I have an idea where you are going to go with this Sal, and I'm just afraid that in the end Mokuba is going to be left on his own, with Seto a part of the damned Rod continually battling the puzzle.

To be honest, I'm not that crazy about Yami, so if you need to decide who to lock away, I won't come after you if you choose him. A 'happy' ending would be nice for a change (hint hint). well happy for Mokuba (and me that is - can't see Yugi jumping for joy. . .)

I hope you continue Seto's story in the next chapter and that it continues to the 'why and how' of the present day.

Keep going, pace yourself, and don't rush it. . .
bahen

Good chapter. So the Yamis really are behind this? Seto's included. I hope they can get the real Seto back.

Since when is Honda considered an alpha male? (ah didn't think I'd catch that one did you?)

As to the entire chapter - nice to see things moving along, but why are Bakura and Honda helping Mokie?
Seto's mysterious apperance - who is controlling him Marik/Malik and why? - (I get confused between those two.) And does this mean the High Priest is also involved?

What is Yami's role in all this?

These questions and more, are the ones that need to be answered if the plot is to continue on its merry way.

I realize that Mokuba is the youngling in this tale, but he is a Kaiba, and he has seen more and experienced more than the 'gang', so please don't negate him to child status and useless. He started off strong but now seems to be pushed to the rear and powerless against the dark powers that reside in this story. Let him be the hero and stick it to Yami and the friendship group as this story continues.

Until the next update,
bahen

Poor Mokuba. His whole world is crumbling and he has no idea how or why. I know he won't give up 'til he has the answers though. Good chapter.

Great imagery as per normal Sal, but I understand that Mokuba is upset, and has self doubts, and can't trust anyone around him and is even beginning to doubt his perception of his brother, but (and there is always a but. . . )how about something abit more concrete to move the plot to the next level. And by the next level, I mean - What the hell is going on? I know you hate doing it, but (and there's that word again) I think you really need to put in some cold hard facts amongst all the imagery.

bahen

Good chapter. I am seriously considering that the Yamis kidnapped Seto. I loved the way Yami is playing he can't lose that way.

Your writing style is great, and the chapter is gripping. . . so what does this all mean?

Yami plays dirty and I would still like to understand what his game is. Yugi is useless and lets himself be manipulated, so that Yami can do as he pleases. Sounds like Mokuba is never getting out of there.. Purely evil.

So what happens now, 50 years later and Mokuba is still sitting in the basement? With a long Rip Van Winkle beard?

Is Seto dead? And what is the story with the Rod? Is Yami keeping Mokuba because he would inherit it?

I think Mokuba needs some outside help here. Even if it is only a dream Seto telling him how to get out of the damn basement.
bahen