rate_review Reviews

Ok, I'm completely lost now. And I have alot of questions, I know I'm not going to get an answer to, but here it goes anyway.

Why didn't Jou know when his sister died? Why was Kaiba the one who told him she died, and that it was in a car crash? What did happen at that last tournament?

Is Yami protecting Yuugi with this 'story'? Is this a story of Yuugi's invention and Yami is along for the ride, because after all this is Yuugi. . .


Why would Kaiba want to kill Yuugi in the first place (mind you I can think of a few good reasons why I would like to kill him right this minute and I keep thinking he is a manipulative little twerp that can twist things to his advantage. . .)

I really don't know where you are going to go with this, I just hope that Kaiba does not become the villan, and that this is just a red flag to add a twist to the tale.

Hope to see some answers soon
bahen

Glad you got a chance to update. Hope things going well at your end.

As to the chapter, those mythical g-ds really play mean don't they?

To be fair, Atemu was already gone by the time the wall was made, so he never saw the original. But to be honest, he never saw beyond his nose anyway (which is why this mess happened in the first place.) So why would he see a difference in the stone?

Especially now, when he only seems to center on Yugi. Before, at least, he still 'noticed' (and took advantage of) the High Priest.

As to the house, the hell on earth for one Seto Kaiba. Is there a third floor with hope and redemption in its reach?

As to why Mokie is the only one "named", Ok, I'll take the punt. . .Can a man not trust and recognize his soul?

The 'light' half of his soul died when Atemu died. All that was left was the 'mad' shell that had to continue to exist.

In this era, for the most part they are split(and I'm sure that being raised by Gozabura didn't help either), so the dark Seto, did all he could to keep his brother safe. His vessel, the one thing that kept him 'alive' if not sane, kept as pure as possible, while he, the dark, became bcame more lost.

All the things he doesn't remember, but despises, 'faith, trust, being weak.' This is how he saw himself in Egypt. No wonder he abors these concepts. A future pre ordained? Atemu destroyed all hope in that man. And as I said the g-ds play mean.

looking forward to the next update
bahen

Hmm. This chapter kinda confused me... or maybe that's just 4 hours of sleep talking. Oh well, I'l wait for next chapter to explain this random compulsion Yugi and Yami have to be at the museum.

Have fun in Florida

Keep up the good work!

~Angel

You do realize that by making Yugi the way he is, I'm really ready to kill the manipulative little twerp. And Yami seems to be in his thrall, without a chance of breaking free. Yet, why the museum? And why does Kaiba turn up like that. It would seem that the g-ds do like to play with their toys. And what exactly does Yami remember from the past? I wouldn't think much, as Yugi seems to have a strangle hold on him in the present.

You've done a wonderful job of making everyone unstable. Now the next question is how unstable/stable do they become throughout the story? Would Yami break if something happened to Yugi. Would Yugi break if Yami went off with Seto. (which in turn goes back to the first question.) Seto is already broken, can he be pieced back together? And of course who is going to be the voice of reason here? Someone has to have a brain to see what is going on.

So I will wait (im)patiently for the next chapter. Damn this is good . . .

Good chapter. Kaiba is still not so nice and very angry at Yami still. I hope he will help them anyway.

I think I have it. Mokuba is the light half of Seto's soul and without him around he is truly dark. He is mean and vicious in his dealings with other people and companies. He uses people for his own pleasure, like Jou and then kicks them when they are down and leaves them without a care or a thought for their welfare. Yugi and Yami don't seem to be so separate and Yami seems to care about others as well as Yugi.
Good chapter. I love the story.

Aw man. I feel so bad for Jou. He's so neglected. Amazing how you didn't describe him, he didn't speak, and he was never directly addressed by name, and yet, it was so clear who you were talking about. Excellent writing.

Keep up the good work!

~Angel

So this is the Kaiba that we are faced with. The one that Moswen describes in the end of the Claiming Rite. Very powerful stuff.

Can't decide yet, whether or not I like your AN explanation that Mokuba and Kaiba are 2 halves of one soul. Because if that is the case, then there can be no redemption or saving the elder brother because he is only filled with an empty darkness, whether a carry over from the ancient past and/or the Gozabura past is yet to be determined.

Ironically, if you look at it from your story line. . .Atemu was Seth's soul vessel. Which would further develop why there was nothing left inside of him when Atemu died. (once again this is from your story line, not out of my head)

There are so many parallels, and possibilities here that I don't even want to put them to paper and second guess you. But what I am seeing on the surface is the modern day Pharoah ( the CEO), the current slave (Jou - not even the general politness of servant is used here) and a little brother who is new to the mix, whose future role is still undetermined at this stage(and not in a sexual manner - which I am very glad about).

For better or worse, your story is getting me to think. . .

Looking forward to the next update. . .
bahen

Please say Jou is with Kaiba. That would make my day for certain.

Wonderful chapter, I can't wait to see what you've got planned next!

Keep up the good work!

~Angel

Wow. What a beginning this story has. I like how you precieve Yami's character. His utter belief in being responsible and protective of Yugi, his despair and anger at their current situation, his love of Yugi for Yugi's insistence that it will get better, and most of all, Yami's pride against asking for help. So believable. Oh, dear, the poor boys! Oh, my, what happened to the Friendship Gang? How come you can only get Joey's whereabouts if you ask while on your knees? So many questions and only two chapters in. I must admit, I was a little disappointed you ghosted over the seme-Yugi lemon, but it was still hot in its implications. Yami taking on a completely submissive pose and just begging for it, that was very hot. I'm looking forward to most of this story, Marajohuiki. And you're the only one on my side for Yami/Sentoryou in mine! Thanks for your support, I really pissed the others off. Oh, well. Please keep up your writing, it's great.