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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love it! Please continue and update soon! (well, I can't talk, I haven't even posted anything yet XD)
Anyhow, I really really feel sorry for Ryou, I've read my share of Ryou torture fics but damn, that's sad. Also in a weird way I'm relieved(Relieved? That sounds wrong >.>) that he's 16, I thought (like Marik) that he was like 12! But then one wonders how early the abuse began, and then I feel even worse for the kid. I'm glad Marik found him and I hope he shows him the kindness the kid desperately needs. I wonder what good ol' 'Kura will be like =P And the millenium ring is the object Marik had to fetch, right? I wonder if it's gonna play some role in the fic. Haha, as terrible as this probably sounds, I'm so happy Marik is his murderous self, I've read too many fluffy cuddly Marik versions that it lost interested (don't get me wrong, I don't want him to act as a total jerk towards Ryou, although clearly there will be some rough moments, it can't be helped. I'm just glad he isn't inexplainable sweet cuddly wuddly)
Ok, I think I'm done... no wait! no... yeah I'm done =3
Anyhow, I really really feel sorry for Ryou, I've read my share of Ryou torture fics but damn, that's sad. Also in a weird way I'm relieved(Relieved? That sounds wrong >.>) that he's 16, I thought (like Marik) that he was like 12! But then one wonders how early the abuse began, and then I feel even worse for the kid. I'm glad Marik found him and I hope he shows him the kindness the kid desperately needs. I wonder what good ol' 'Kura will be like =P And the millenium ring is the object Marik had to fetch, right? I wonder if it's gonna play some role in the fic. Haha, as terrible as this probably sounds, I'm so happy Marik is his murderous self, I've read too many fluffy cuddly Marik versions that it lost interested (don't get me wrong, I don't want him to act as a total jerk towards Ryou, although clearly there will be some rough moments, it can't be helped. I'm just glad he isn't inexplainable sweet cuddly wuddly)
Ok, I think I'm done... no wait! no... yeah I'm done =3
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February 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful work, J-chan! This story is intense, and somewhat different from the stuff I usually read. I'm definitely looking forward to your next chapter. Plot development and the speed at which the story is moving are your best points. However, I would suggest getting a beta reader to catch the small grammatical errors. While your story is otherwise excellent, those little things take away from the overall quality.
Otherwise, keep up the good work!
~Angel
Otherwise, keep up the good work!
~Angel
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February 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
quite interesting. I would like to read more!
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February 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
love it............love it to death.....Your wonderful...I just can't wait to read more...Malik is a born murder I'm so happy to see someone gave him his true job in their story....keep up the good work
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February 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like it so far, and we definitely need more of this pairing!
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February 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'd love to hear more
J-xhan
J-xhan
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February 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please write more......Poor Ryou..
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February 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is great so far, I can't wait to read what will happen next. I would recommend either using quotation marks or italics for Mariks thoughts just to make the story easier to read. Good luck!
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February 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
pretty good, you just need to disginguish between thoughts and the discriptive parts. i'm interested in seeing more.