schedule
December 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It's a good story, it would be a shame to take it off the site
schedule
November 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ouch. You have a lot of work to do with your writing.
You change tenses at least once, for starters. The style is severely lacking, and you need to re-evaluate the way you structure your sentences. Also, for lack of a better way to say this, the way you write and the adjectives you choose are just *lame*.
"The idiots closed in on him."? "The thugs were no match for me and they ran off." Are you serious? It's flat out retarded.
Work on your style, get yourself a good beta-reader. Please don't publish another THING until you get yourself straightened out.
You change tenses at least once, for starters. The style is severely lacking, and you need to re-evaluate the way you structure your sentences. Also, for lack of a better way to say this, the way you write and the adjectives you choose are just *lame*.
"The idiots closed in on him."? "The thugs were no match for me and they ran off." Are you serious? It's flat out retarded.
Work on your style, get yourself a good beta-reader. Please don't publish another THING until you get yourself straightened out.