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January 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG! Just realized this was updated. I'm beginning to wonder, how updates show up unnoticed. Sometimes I honestly think this site could use, some sort of alert system. Anyways, great chapter. A pleasant find. Thanks for writing. Would like more...please. Later.
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January 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
An original amoungst originals. I LOVE this story. The relationship worries are just so...lip smackingly good. The lemon had me blowing steam from my ears and going through rolls of tissue to stem my overactive nosebleed. You are wonderful. Great job ^_^
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January 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!!I can't believe you updated.I was begining to think something bad happened to you.Anyway Im so glad to have you back and for this chapter,It was great.Plz don't make us wait that long again and update ASAP
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January 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter. If she only knew, Gina would be mortified. They are so cute together.
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January 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
meow, that was hot ;) Although some con crit for you: avoid using words like 'penis' and 'anus'. They conjure, at best, the thought of some sort of medical clinic, and at worst some kind of disease. Not that you should use porn cliches or ridiculous nicknames either, but I'm certain there's another, less scientific term.
Very descriptive, although be careful not to make sex scenes too long - sex IS about passion of the flesh after all, so it needs to be fairly fast-paced rather than drawn out (unless you're trying to be particularly romantic, which I don't think you were). You have a wonderful tension in your writing though, mainly because I'm expecting their mother to walk in at any moment. I wonder if she'd turn away in disgust or come to accept them, however...? She seems like the sort of person who'd struggle to disown her children even if they went against her beliefs.
ReaperRain
Very descriptive, although be careful not to make sex scenes too long - sex IS about passion of the flesh after all, so it needs to be fairly fast-paced rather than drawn out (unless you're trying to be particularly romantic, which I don't think you were). You have a wonderful tension in your writing though, mainly because I'm expecting their mother to walk in at any moment. I wonder if she'd turn away in disgust or come to accept them, however...? She seems like the sort of person who'd struggle to disown her children even if they went against her beliefs.
ReaperRain
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November 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Could you places write more to this story soon. I would like to see an ending to it. It is a good story and you are good at your works but it needs more to it now.
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October 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I can't even describe how damn GOOD that ws. I've seen fics where Yami and Yugi are brothers before, but I've never actually seen the element of religion introduced, just general social values. You write beautifully, descriptively, and with a certain flow that only comes to people with natural talent. This story is like poetry in motion, from an author not afraid to confront taboo issues, something you rarely see nowadays. Should you choose to continue this story, I'd wholly appreciate it if you could email me when you update, and I shall be sure to review. Many thanks.
ReaperRain
ReaperRain
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October 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter. I am glad they are not letting religion or family stand in their way. I love it.
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October 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think that ur first chapter was very well done, it certainly captured my attention, good job!
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October 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OH! I love your writing style, not too fast not too slow, very good. Atemu and Yugi are so sexy! *drool*
Keep up the good work! :)
Keep up the good work! :)