rate_review Reviews

Oh~ Pegasus as an 'uke' is Godly, and terribly under-done; I usually despise and stay far away from PegaKai due to the 'read one, read them all' tendency of them, but this was delightfully diffrent and unique! The only gripe I have here is that there were many spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors that seriously took away from the enjoyment of the story, and it was far too short and woefully undetailed. I know it's a PWP, but the characters seemed especially flat... Pegasus was suffering from a very advanced case of Stockholm syndrome, and was abused and emasculated, Seto was getting his revenge though BDSM and rape. That could have been brought to much deeper levels, and really would have made this piece truly wonderful. I recommend that you put in tons more detail, elaborate, and drag things out - and maybe even get a nice beta or two so you can polish it to perfection.

This piece shows you have serious potential, and good ideas - the presentation just need a little work.

Keep on writing! The more you work with words, the better you'll get, and you'll truly be a great author! ^_^