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May 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well, I finally got to the part where the gang is getting together to go on their big mission (the one mentioned in the summary), and I'm *ONLY* 2/3 of the way through the fic (chapter 21). Imagine that.
You write pretty well; your grammar and spelling are okay (mostly) and you are awesome when it comes to details, even your sense of humor is refreshing. But, almost half of what I've read so far is pure (and unnecessary) fluff. You could have cut this down to about 20 chapters and had a really tight, well rounded, suspense/drama/romance fic that would have kept everyone right on the edges of their seats.
Unfortunately, it has been my experience in the past, that long fics (even those that get to the heart of the issue right out of the gate) tend to wander off of their intended paths through the course of the writing process. And here, we have a fic that doesn't even get to the point until it's more than half done. I do hope you haven't gotten bored and rushed this to an early and unsatisfying conclusion.
You write pretty well; your grammar and spelling are okay (mostly) and you are awesome when it comes to details, even your sense of humor is refreshing. But, almost half of what I've read so far is pure (and unnecessary) fluff. You could have cut this down to about 20 chapters and had a really tight, well rounded, suspense/drama/romance fic that would have kept everyone right on the edges of their seats.
Unfortunately, it has been my experience in the past, that long fics (even those that get to the heart of the issue right out of the gate) tend to wander off of their intended paths through the course of the writing process. And here, we have a fic that doesn't even get to the point until it's more than half done. I do hope you haven't gotten bored and rushed this to an early and unsatisfying conclusion.
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May 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I was so excited that the new chapter finally came out! the story is really great, and so exciting!
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May 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Two words: Update, update, update (Okay i lie three words. But hte fic is so good and soo well written leaving to die would be like stabbign a vamp with a silver lined asben cross, drenched in holy water out in teh hot sun. Get the picture please keep up hte great work.
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May 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Last chapter everyone was smirking; this chapter, blinking seems to be the order of the day, and the last several chapters have been nothing but fluff.
You're 10 chapters into this thing and Seto has only been mentioned twice. Even that was nothing more than an appeasement; a way of easing the minds of the readers who might be wondering when he would be making an appearance. I say this because (unless the travelers are going to be attacked by him before they get to the Vatican) there was no need to mention him at all. Mikado could just as easily been sent out to find Ryou, then been given the assignment to find info on Seto as a seperate mission upon his return.
You started out with a very promising and interesting storyline, a strange little party of misfits going off on a dangerous mission. Are you planning to get back to it anytime soon? I certainly hope so. If I wanted to waste my time on 31 chapters of pure fluff, I'd have gone to ff.net.
You're 10 chapters into this thing and Seto has only been mentioned twice. Even that was nothing more than an appeasement; a way of easing the minds of the readers who might be wondering when he would be making an appearance. I say this because (unless the travelers are going to be attacked by him before they get to the Vatican) there was no need to mention him at all. Mikado could just as easily been sent out to find Ryou, then been given the assignment to find info on Seto as a seperate mission upon his return.
You started out with a very promising and interesting storyline, a strange little party of misfits going off on a dangerous mission. Are you planning to get back to it anytime soon? I certainly hope so. If I wanted to waste my time on 31 chapters of pure fluff, I'd have gone to ff.net.
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May 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Are you going to update? It usually doesn't take you this long and you left it at a major cliffe that is killing me to find out what happens. Poor Mikado and Bakura they just there relationship and now all of a sudden its torn apart in the worst way possible. Arg. Please update I'm dying to read more.
~Luce
~Luce
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March 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
What will happen to poor Mikado?! Great, great story! Love it. Please update soon! *gives cyber cookies as bribe* =P
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February 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh pleasepleaseplease update! We love you!!
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January 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM
have i ever mentioned i love you? Really? Only you can write the angst to my heart XD
I love it.
Kuro
I love it.
Kuro
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January 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Surely Bakura and Itemri must be up to something to stop Seto.. surely... Anouther awsome chapter. Thanks!!!
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January 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
AHH!! That's the most horrible cliff-hanger ever!!!!!!!! I cried! Actual tears! And I don't even know if Mikado will live! Please make everything better! More fluff, less angst. Great chapter, heart-wrenching and extremely suspenseful at the end, but great!
I love your story and I can't wait til next chapter!
Love,
Manda
I love your story and I can't wait til next chapter!
Love,
Manda