rate_review Reviews

Freddie: *slashes up the medical dudes* heh heh heh

That was...interesting....*2 minutes later* OOOOOOO BLOOOD!!!

Marik: Blood where?

Bakura: *cuts Marik's arm* here *licks it* hmmm...

Marik *growls*

Freddie: *whimpers and cries*

Freddie grow up and get some girl or something....

You're right too short. Introducing new characters is fine but let people get a better feel of them that way the chapters can be longer. *and i thought that some of my story chapters where short. she just won the trophy for short chapter status* Ohy my just thinking. *grins* Update soon.

*smirks* Nah...they are alright really..

Freddie: *snorts* speak for yourself!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE GUYS GOING AT IT!! *sobs* I'm a virgin to the eyes and welll *blush*

Bakura: That is seriously scary

Marik: *looks over at Millie* You okay...

I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE HIM BLUSH AGAIN!!!! AGGGHHHHH!!! SO SCARRRYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Seth: Meh...*goes back to fucking with Marik and Bakura*

Freddie:..........

*rocks* I'm not insane...I'm not insane.....I'm not insane....

Freddie: You keep telling yourself that....

*five minutes later*

Freddie: *rocks* I'm not insane.....

Like this chapter Ryou is shy you didn't even take him out of character though when it comes down to it he can be pretty forceful. Are you planning to take this story to Battle City as well? Update soon

Thank-you for saying I'm a good writer. Keep your eyes peeled for a new story. It will be posted within the next month. Also working on a sequel to my Vampire story. Now for my review. As much as I like Jou he can be such an ass at times. Yugi is so blind here it is not even funny and I like the way you had Seto pass the note to Ryou. Slick very slick. Update soon.

*Marik Bakura and Seth send her death glares* Give her that tape and Mr. Shinnie gets it!!

*smirks and glares back* If Mister Shinnie gets it I lock you up naked in different cells for three years and I'll sell the tape on Ebay!

Marik: but you hate Ebay

*smirks* not if I'm the selling it I don't, I get profits ^^

Bakura: .......What are you going to?

*smirks* make several copies and sell on Ebay however this girl here...get's on for free

Seth: *eyes sparkle with an idea* LET'S RECORD YAMI AND YUGI AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT!!

Marik: *smirks* Or better still Amelia and Millie

*All three freeze as they watch Millie carefully.* I AM NOT BLUSHING AND DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO AMELIA!!! MARIK!!! GIVE ME THAT CAMCORDER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Freddie: yep just another typical day in hell

*Marik Bakura and Seth send her death glares* Give her that tape and Mr. Shinnie gets it!!

*smirks and glares back* If Mister Shinnie gets it I lock you up naked in different cells for three years and I'll sell the tape on Ebay!

Marik: but you hate Ebay

*smirks* not if I'm the selling it I don't, I get profits ^^

Bakura: .......What are you going to?

*smirks* make several copies and sell on Ebay however this girl here...get's on for free

Seth: *eyes sparkle with an idea* LET'S RECORD YAMI AND YUGI AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT!!

Marik: *smirks* Or better still Amelia and Millie

*All three freeze as they watch Millie carefully.* I AM NOT BLUSHING AND DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO AMELIA!!! MARIK!!! GIVE ME THAT CAMCORDER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Freddie: yep just another typical day in hell

The plot is unique and I like that. The writing and development of the character's emotions needs work.

Ive seen a picture of Seto in an apron and very little else. And it was pink. Update soon.

Seth: The girl's right beautiful...

Bakura: Hn. I am not beautiful

Marik: *narrows eyes* Yes. You. Are

Millie: Damnit Bakura...if you were a girl...I'd rape you!!

Bakura: You can't rape the willing *smirks*

Damnit!! Oh well

Bakura: *purrs as Seth and Marik stroke him*

Marik and Seth: shhh...

Marik: *pulls off Bakura's shirt and kisses and bites his right nipple*

Seth: That's hot...*takes off his shirt and sits 'cutely' in front of Bakura's penis*

I'm feeling Sorry for Freddie...he has no idea what he is missing xx

Freddie: ..........*runs three miles*

Seth: I think he's homophobic

lol he's not....*whispers* he's a virgin!!!!!!!!!!!