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October 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hi. I'm the same person as the first person who reviewed, but I'm using a variation on the penname I'll probably use on here.
I do agree with the last reviewer that the lack of het fics is frustrating (and it's something I may try to fix), but this is pretty good for a yaoi fic.
I do agree with the last reviewer that the lack of het fics is frustrating (and it's something I may try to fix), but this is pretty good for a yaoi fic.
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October 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
NO MORE GAY FICS
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September 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great!
I love your style.
I think it´s something special!
so keep it up!
~~^-^~~
I love your style.
I think it´s something special!
so keep it up!
~~^-^~~
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September 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love where this fic is going and can't wait to see the next chapter. I already asked you this about another of your fics, when you add to this could you let me know through email?
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August 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I'm loving your story. My only thing is Mokuba should be about 22 years old not 17. I like how you didn't have Ryo and Yuki screw the first chapter, and what is up Yugi hiding himself. I would have thought that he would (and I don't mean to sound cold about it) have gotten over Atemu leaving. Anyway thank you and I truly mean thank you for using their Japanese names and the horrible English dub names.
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June 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is cutely awesome. Please continue.
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June 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
damn right. i wanted kaiba and yuki. ah, i'll be a good girl. one thing. you haven't actually haven't explained why they love each other, how they began loving each other. i don't think you put a scene where they are just spending time with each other. like cuddling or talking or something. it's always some sexual activity. not that i'm complaining. smirk. now if you would pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee update.
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May 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I felt bad that no one had reviewed this after so many chapters, so I decided to fix that.
This is relatively well-written. The grammar is fairly good, which earns bonus points with me. However, there are some things I'd like to comment on:
I'm pretty sure Judai's first name is "Judai". The formal way of writing his name is "Yuki Judai". Plus, in the dub, Jaden's last name is "Yuki". It's just a bit jarring seeing him constantly being referred to as "Yuki".
Seto and Jounouchi are really getting on my nerves. They should not be intruding on Judai and Kaiser's personal business. Now, I am perfectly fine with gay couples expressing love for each other. However, like straight couples, gay couples should not be pressured to go farther than they feel comfortable doing. However, I have found hints in the story that this is the reaction you are looking for. If so, than you have suceeded in that aspect of the story!
Okay, enough criticism! Here's some things I liked:
The romance does not feel rushed at all. It's refreshing to find a story that actually has a plot on this site!
The tours of Domino City are well-described.
Creative names for the amusement park rides! ^^
No Mary Sues! Hooray!
References to Japanese culture! Double hooray!
I'm going to have to get ready for school soon, so I should end this.
P.S. You are aware that Japan uses the metric system, right? Because 8 centimeters is only about three inches. I feel pretty confident that this is not what you meant, though.
P.P.S. Would you mind doing ManjoumexAsuka as a side pairing? Just a stupid request from a fan of that pairing. You don't have to do it if you feel it would be awkward.
I plan to become a regular reviewer on this site, so I hope I'm leaving a good first impression!
This is relatively well-written. The grammar is fairly good, which earns bonus points with me. However, there are some things I'd like to comment on:
I'm pretty sure Judai's first name is "Judai". The formal way of writing his name is "Yuki Judai". Plus, in the dub, Jaden's last name is "Yuki". It's just a bit jarring seeing him constantly being referred to as "Yuki".
Seto and Jounouchi are really getting on my nerves. They should not be intruding on Judai and Kaiser's personal business. Now, I am perfectly fine with gay couples expressing love for each other. However, like straight couples, gay couples should not be pressured to go farther than they feel comfortable doing. However, I have found hints in the story that this is the reaction you are looking for. If so, than you have suceeded in that aspect of the story!
Okay, enough criticism! Here's some things I liked:
The romance does not feel rushed at all. It's refreshing to find a story that actually has a plot on this site!
The tours of Domino City are well-described.
Creative names for the amusement park rides! ^^
No Mary Sues! Hooray!
References to Japanese culture! Double hooray!
I'm going to have to get ready for school soon, so I should end this.
P.S. You are aware that Japan uses the metric system, right? Because 8 centimeters is only about three inches. I feel pretty confident that this is not what you meant, though.
P.P.S. Would you mind doing ManjoumexAsuka as a side pairing? Just a stupid request from a fan of that pairing. You don't have to do it if you feel it would be awkward.
I plan to become a regular reviewer on this site, so I hope I'm leaving a good first impression!