schedule
June 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Lmao, ok I haven't read this chapter yet but I had to comment on you Angsty Goth Emo Teen Poetry A/N. That was hilarious, esp since I have some of that. Every time I read it my first thought is ,"What the hell was wrong with me?" It's so funny, anyways. I really like the story so far and honestly don't have much in the way of concrit being as it's all pretty good on spelling and the like. Looking forward to finishing it, at least what there is up of it thus far. ^^
schedule
June 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
T-T you were gone forever! meanie XD
J-chan
J-chan
schedule
June 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I think I've read this before... do you have an account on Fanfiction? I didn't read chapter 11 though, that's new. Hurray for developments that don't end in character death!
Love the entire story so far; I like how Bakura and Ryou switch personalities. In terms of character development this is THE BEST plot I've seen explain things fully for the- for lack of better words- 'change of heart' Bakura gets. I like your attention to Ryou's character, he often seems to get stuck in the perpetual 'victim' catagory so in most other stories when Bakura 'changes' I can't help but feel as if I'm envisioning the fantasy of a battered wife.
Anyway, your story is absolutely kickass, and I can't wait for the next chapter. I believe there might have been some promise of Lemon pie?~ >3
Love the entire story so far; I like how Bakura and Ryou switch personalities. In terms of character development this is THE BEST plot I've seen explain things fully for the- for lack of better words- 'change of heart' Bakura gets. I like your attention to Ryou's character, he often seems to get stuck in the perpetual 'victim' catagory so in most other stories when Bakura 'changes' I can't help but feel as if I'm envisioning the fantasy of a battered wife.
Anyway, your story is absolutely kickass, and I can't wait for the next chapter. I believe there might have been some promise of Lemon pie?~ >3
schedule
April 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ha ha! Yeah you little shit (term of endearment)! That was the last thing I was expecting! I love it, and keep up the good work!
schedule
April 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!!! YOUR FIANCE'S WORDS R THE SAME WORDS I'M ABOUT TO REITERATE.....WHAT THA SHIT!!!!? wow this was mighty intense. very nice story. i must say this is amazing. it's too bad you don't update all that much. this is an amazing story. and ryou is just fuckin crazy. like god damn, mothafucka has lost his damn marbles!! i still luv him though. i also like the fact that you didn't make the whole story so cliche and typical 'ryou forgives bakura immediatly after 4 years of abuse because he loves him so much'. i think people forget the fact that after abuse, u need a while to heal and the healing process can be quite...crazy. i feel sorry for bakura though. i would like to say that he deserved it but, he has come to terms with what he has done and he knows that he was in the wrong. but besides that, i really like this story and i hope you update more often. and if you ever feel sad, jus e-mail me and i'll give "75 ways to order a pizza" and "30 things to do in an exam when you're gonna fail it anyways" so that way, you'll laugh and feel better.
schedule
March 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really like your story. I swear I felt like crying when all that stuff happened to Ryou. I hope you update this story, because contrary to what you say, this is a good story.
schedule
February 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I just found and read your story. It's pretty good, better than good! I had to stop myself several times from bursting into tears while reading your story. I hope you update this story soon. I can't wait to read more!
schedule
December 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
There's one thing that is annoying me about this story, and that's you beating yourself up. Stop it! I don't write (haven't since my college days which are long past) because I don't have the time or the imagination. Anything I think of has been done before! But I will take the time to review, and beta if anyone should ask. So - anyone that does write and does it well enough to grab my attention gets my praise and admiration because they can (and do) commit themselves and do what I can't.
I did start to read this story a way back, so I started from the beginning again and read it through to the end. It is nicely written, and I'm glad (cheered even!) that Ryou didn't just change his mind at the first kiss - it does take a lot, lot more than that to be convinced that a leopard has changed his spots, particularly after 4 years or so of sadistic, violent abuse. Yes, Ryou got his own back, but strangely he never reported Bakura, possibly because of the threat of the "bind"?. And neither did Bakura split on Ryou after being punctured a couple of times... This is realistic, and once released from the so-called "bind" Ryou did what anyone else in a violent relationship should do and has the strength to do it - he left. However, I see a large "but" on the horizon (and I don't mean the ass kind!!!). Keep going, it's good.
And all hail to sglily!!!!!
I did start to read this story a way back, so I started from the beginning again and read it through to the end. It is nicely written, and I'm glad (cheered even!) that Ryou didn't just change his mind at the first kiss - it does take a lot, lot more than that to be convinced that a leopard has changed his spots, particularly after 4 years or so of sadistic, violent abuse. Yes, Ryou got his own back, but strangely he never reported Bakura, possibly because of the threat of the "bind"?. And neither did Bakura split on Ryou after being punctured a couple of times... This is realistic, and once released from the so-called "bind" Ryou did what anyone else in a violent relationship should do and has the strength to do it - he left. However, I see a large "but" on the horizon (and I don't mean the ass kind!!!). Keep going, it's good.
And all hail to sglily!!!!!
schedule
December 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey Love!
I'm very happy that you have not forgotten this story! I have to say that the parts that you have added past what you had sent me originally... like eons ago now!... were a big surprise! But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I think you did a nice job of showing Ryou's "loss of light" and the level of distrust that he holds for Bakura. Bakura's attempts to be nice and to make amends were rather comical, if not a little sad - especially since all were much too late to make a difference. The scene where Bakura plays Ryou and then crushes him with the "I hate your fucking guts" routine was brilliantly executed. One could feel Ryou's heart shattering into a million tiny pieces as a result of Bakura's cruelty. Interesting that Bakura had kept that slip of paper with Ryou's wish on it all along...
Ryou turned out rather fiesty in your story, able to defend himself, and totally sick of Bakura's crap. Ryou wielding a knife and doing so skillfully was a nice twist. Unfortunately, Bakura was on the wrong end of the pointy blade... and while kissing, in an attempt to show his sincerity, no less.
The hospital scene was pivotal. What was it exactly that Bakura did to "release" Ryou? The part that I was most surprised at was when Ryou walked away from Bakura's hospital room, he kept going... four years later... wow.
And Ryou has grown up and found himself - good for him but sad, too, that it, as in life in general, had worked out the way it did. Ideally, Bakura would have been the love of his life, his one and only, but it seemed liked Ryou had put Bakura in his past to stay there until he was ready to deal with his dark.
The reunion between light and dark wasn't as awkward as I would have thought it would be. Perhaps the cliche would have been if Bakura had fallen all apart but it seems like the dark one has kept it together - relatively speaking. And Bakura a PI? Too funny! I like what you've done with your story and I look forward to reading more! What is Bakura going to do to convince his light of his love? Hmmm...
I'm very happy that you have not forgotten this story! I have to say that the parts that you have added past what you had sent me originally... like eons ago now!... were a big surprise! But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I think you did a nice job of showing Ryou's "loss of light" and the level of distrust that he holds for Bakura. Bakura's attempts to be nice and to make amends were rather comical, if not a little sad - especially since all were much too late to make a difference. The scene where Bakura plays Ryou and then crushes him with the "I hate your fucking guts" routine was brilliantly executed. One could feel Ryou's heart shattering into a million tiny pieces as a result of Bakura's cruelty. Interesting that Bakura had kept that slip of paper with Ryou's wish on it all along...
Ryou turned out rather fiesty in your story, able to defend himself, and totally sick of Bakura's crap. Ryou wielding a knife and doing so skillfully was a nice twist. Unfortunately, Bakura was on the wrong end of the pointy blade... and while kissing, in an attempt to show his sincerity, no less.
The hospital scene was pivotal. What was it exactly that Bakura did to "release" Ryou? The part that I was most surprised at was when Ryou walked away from Bakura's hospital room, he kept going... four years later... wow.
And Ryou has grown up and found himself - good for him but sad, too, that it, as in life in general, had worked out the way it did. Ideally, Bakura would have been the love of his life, his one and only, but it seemed liked Ryou had put Bakura in his past to stay there until he was ready to deal with his dark.
The reunion between light and dark wasn't as awkward as I would have thought it would be. Perhaps the cliche would have been if Bakura had fallen all apart but it seems like the dark one has kept it together - relatively speaking. And Bakura a PI? Too funny! I like what you've done with your story and I look forward to reading more! What is Bakura going to do to convince his light of his love? Hmmm...
schedule
May 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Forgive me for being confused -- Aren't chapters 5 & 6 a repeat of chapter 4? I do love this fic, by the way. :)