schedule
September 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Your plot is interesting, but you need to work on your writing. I hope you don't mind some constructive criticism, but your story seems rushed and you don't have enough descriptions. Try to slow down and mention specific things. For example, what does the room look like, what are the characters feeling, what are they wearing etc. I don't want you to quit writing, especially if this is what you want to do. But, I do want to help a little. It's up to you whether or not you want to use my advice.
schedule
August 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I'm glad that Jou's okay. Please don't let him get hurt anymore. Update soon.
schedule
August 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
awwwww!! that is so cute!!
schedule
June 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I can't wait to find out what happened!!! I can't wait for the next chapter, update as soon as you can!!!!!
~Amheket
~Amheket
schedule
June 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I'm glad Seto found him. Idea have Seto confront and do somnething to the person who did this too his puppy. Update soon.
schedule
June 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It's a good start, and be proud, you got me to review ^_~!!! Details on what happened would be nice, he could be explaining to the stranger with the blue eyes... Ahh, my overactive imagination is spinning. UPDATE SOON!!!!!!
schedule
June 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Who beat up Jou and was that Seto who found him. Please update soon great start.
schedule
January 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Good start, I really liked it.... For ideas how about Seto takes Joey to the hospital, gets his injuries taken care of and then
He's taken to Seto's home for recovery? All the while Joey's depressed so he's not really into any of his favorite things and Seto has to get him interested again
I'll have more ideas for you if you want and if you continue this story. It's good so you should!
He's taken to Seto's home for recovery? All the while Joey's depressed so he's not really into any of his favorite things and Seto has to get him interested again
I'll have more ideas for you if you want and if you continue this story. It's good so you should!
schedule
January 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
that was really good but udate soon is it kieba i hope so they make such a hot and cute couple anyways write more bye
schedule
January 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i love the story
um ideas:
1.go back to teh past , how did this all started? why was jou crying?
2. no more ideas -.-
i'll try and help from time to time ^-^
um ideas:
1.go back to teh past , how did this all started? why was jou crying?
2. no more ideas -.-
i'll try and help from time to time ^-^