rate_review Reviews

Good job!!!! The new chapter is very good!!!! I love how you made Yami the bad guy, he is the dark half after all!! He can't be all good. Keep up the good work:))))

Very nice!! I can't wait to see what Yugi was trying to warn her about. *smirks* It's a great set-up with him being the 'perfect' boyfriend. lolz Update soon!

I like ur begining, its like star wars. "long long time ago in a galaxy far far away...and this is my story" I like ur story and all but to me it's going really slow.

hey, this was really good-- so nice to see het fic on this site (though i enjoy the yaoi also) and a fic with anzu in it that ISN'T bashing. ^_^ especially one that's well written! nice job, i enjoyed reading this and i look forward to the next chapter.

This is a great first chapter. I like the way you have the POV set up. Only thing that would make this better is a bit more description to the setting and emotions. Can't wait to see how it turns out!!

Not bad for a first chapter. I like how this is all from Anzu's POV. And though this will sound odd, I also like how there are breaks in periods of time, like going from one palce to a year later. That usually doesn't work, but for this, it works pretty well, so nice job! My only real criticxm is that (And remember this is just my personal opinion and YOU are the author of this fic meaning only yolu have any right to change anything in it) There isn't a whole lot of vivid, concrete detail. My suggestion is this: When you are writing the next chapter, visualize the actions etc. and see what you can apply to them. Use the five senses. Like if you're saying "He tasts so sweet." step back and ask yourself What kind of sweet? Sugar, chocolate, whipped cream fruit or whatever. Personally, I find this helps me with my own writng. Keep it up, you're doing great so far!
Best of luck go with you, and all the Muses.
ivorycoral