rate_review Reviews

Wow this is really good. Seriously I love it so far and I am sooooooooooo glad your not rushing it ^.^ I can't wait to see what you have planed for the both of them. When Seto and Jou go to Egypt will they beable to use magic? like you know Jou being able to summon the Red eye's black dragon? I would so love to see that. I can hardly wait till the next chap I hope its soon. I 'm excited really that your sending both of them to the past together. When it happens (them being sent to the past) will the get seperated? I know its a Seto/Jou Seth/Jou but will Jou meet Bakura? Jou's a smart character at least smarter then most people think ^.^ I can't wait to see how they both handle being sent to the past. Well Ja till next chap!

Chris: :)
Lolita: Oooooooooooooo!

I really liked it, it's cool!!!!!!!!

You haff my attention.

I like the story so far, seems as though Seto is starting to flirt with the puppy. Update soon, i can't wait to see what happens when they meet Seth.

i like it a lot so far so update soon. and tristan's last name is Taylor.

Nice start. I'm anxious to see where it goes from here.

Just a few things, though.. I'm sorry, I guess I'm still a picky beta reader at heart. >_< Feel free to ignore me, I just wanted to point out a couple of things.
When the names are being called for the assignment, one of the guys lets out a "deverish" noise, which I can only assume you meant "devilish noise." Also, Yami gives Yugi a "sexy patronizing" look - the sexy I get, but I'm not sure "patronizing" is what you're looking for here. It means to behave in an offensively condescending manner towards. So... Yami is being sexy, but offensively condescending? And it's spelled "indignantly."

I hope this wasn't a bother! >_> Anyhow, keep up the good work! Looking forward to your next update.

An interesting idea and a good start. :)
For next time though, please please nix the little random "add-ins". There's no need to have author's notes every few sentences. If you really feel the need to clarify something or add your two cents worth, put in a footnote. Using (1), (2) and so on usually work pretty well. A/Ns all over the place are very distracting. :( Also, as far as (sp?) goes, either use a thesaurus/spellcheck (microsoft word is wonderful for that XD) more or get a beta set up - again, 'tis very distracting and takes away from what otherwise would be a very good read. It doesn't take long to look up a few words, so you may as well, right?

I hope that doesn't sound overly preachy (I really don't want to sound like a flamer or something!), I just really don't like it when a good read gets all broken up by those things. If that's just your style, then just ignore me. ;)

Good start, though if you could lower the amount of author notes or put them at the bottom it would be awesome because they were kind of distracting ^^ Everything looked good though, so can't wait until the second chapter :)

Hey! That's my story challenge thing! You did it! YaY! LoL. Eek! Now I'm all excited. I suppose that means I should take down the challenge from the posts now....