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October 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
RD: what the heck do I have to flame cause as far as I can see theres nothing to flame this is a great stor it just cracks me up the only person I'm going to flame or rather bash is tristen *grabs tristen by his pointing hair then does what Ed and Al's Teacher does on Full Metal Alchemist and beats him to a paulp
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October 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
No flames. I'm enjoying the story so far.
However, I am somewhat curious about what happened to chapter 7.
However, I am somewhat curious about what happened to chapter 7.
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October 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Um very good story but now I'm confused...... What happened to Solomon in the game shop???? It seems like you jumped chapter 7 and went straight to chapter 8. for I went to double check your chapter's and you have chapters 1-6 and 8 no chapter 7 and because of the mishap I'm utterly confused. Anyway chapter 8 was awsome as where your previous ones but please fix the error with chapter 7 other wise reviewers will be confused like I am.
Anyway awsome work please update again soon.
Arainaina
Anyway awsome work please update again soon.
Arainaina
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October 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Grandpa is ok!!! What happen next? And when Yami and Yugi mate? I can't wait for that. Please update as soon as you can. ja
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October 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yaay!!! Sweat and cute Yugi is back! @.@
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September 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
...dude, commas are your friend. Run-on sentences are the enemy. Detail is good, but you sound like you're either on crack, or are a 4 year old with ADD.
Don't take it too offensively, the storyline isn't very bad, just the storytelling is freaking idiotic.
Try it again, get someone to beta-it, and it should be fine.
Until then; story gets a temporary 2 out of 10. (a point for few spelling mistakes, and a point for a good idea) but that's it.
Don't take it too offensively, the storyline isn't very bad, just the storytelling is freaking idiotic.
Try it again, get someone to beta-it, and it should be fine.
Until then; story gets a temporary 2 out of 10. (a point for few spelling mistakes, and a point for a good idea) but that's it.
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September 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Firstly - I really like your story
But - Yugi is starting to get realllyy OOC. You might want to curb his blood thirsty trend....
But - Yugi is starting to get realllyy OOC. You might want to curb his blood thirsty trend....
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September 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Read ZephyrGem's stories, they have great torture scenes in them! rad chappie!
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September 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh interesting please update soon
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September 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
RD: im just loving this more and more hehe I would never had pegged Yugi to be capable of half the things he says let alone does but hmm go figure well keep up the great work and update soon JA NE ^__^