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schedule
September 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hehehe I'm horny now.. oh and one thing, try and change your descriptions more... like on the kissing part. You said something like: "he opened his mouth and plunged his tongue into the younger boy's mouth". The second use of the word mouth could be changed to something like 'moist cavern'.. just a thought. Other than that it was good!
schedule
September 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
RD: its a beautiful love alright almost bordering on divine and most definitly delicious hehe great story keep up the great work and update soon gtg now JA NE ^__^
schedule
September 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Mmm, that was nice *^-^*
schedule
September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
really cute one shot, i'm a die-hard-fan of yami/Yuugi couple, so my opinion may be partial, but what the heck ^^
schedule
September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Awesome first time story! Excellent work. Your name seems familiar to me.... Why is that? Maybe you should write a new story or a sequal to this one. *grins*
schedule
September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This review was born on the love of yaoi! heh. Very very cute story. The day out reminds me of something that happened in Gravitation with Yuki and Shu :D.
schedule
September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
aww! taht was sooo kute! great details too. XD