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for What Were You Doing??

by YamiJounochi

person yellow bastard
schedule May 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I forgot to point out another thing that called my attention. Why would Yugi ask Seto Kaiba? It seemed kind of random... maybe you should explain that in a following chapter.
person critic
schedule May 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
u know that was jsut crappy. the lemon could have been written better and yugi coming in. look, if the kid is in what a freshman in hgihschool i would think he knows what sex is. even if it is between two guys. if this is your first attempt... then you need some more serious practice and i am being truthful. try getting a beta before you post something u suppsoedly call writing.
person J.S.
schedule May 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ur joking!!!
dat cannot b ur first lemon....it was amazing!!!
keep up da gud work
and update soon!!!
i want 2 c how kaiba tells yugi bout da 'birds and da bees' ;)
person Kugatsu
schedule May 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
well YamiJ, it was pretty fast and you switched teh speakers voice around the third paragraph i think... i liked it but it was too fast, and why was teh school locked?

YOU JUST WANTED TO WRITE LEMONY FRESHNESS! FOR SHAME! *giggles* it's okay! Ja!