rate_review Reviews

I like this.
Only wish there were more :3

this is sooooo good I love it...HOT... love it!!!!

mmmmmmm i'm sorry but i think joey being "raped" is kinda hot. i know it isn't really cause i've been raped myself but i can live with it now. i know kaiba is really a stuck-up ass cause he's really not nice but i liked this one... and it turns out pretty good doesn't it? (giggle) i loved this!!!!! poor me... do you know how to fave these things? i really want to fave this!!!!

I know you're just trying to get into Joey's character, but could you not make him talk like a peasant?

I do not mean to offend you in any way, so please do not take this the wrong way but... that was not rape. It was more fantasy rape, or even just soft non-con (a label that is controversial in and of itself, but *is* different from all out rape). I know you spoke of this in your summary, but I just stumbled across the story and I *had* to say it. You have a great idea, but the writing was rushed and the details are a little scattered. Surprisingly, I do not have a problem with not lubing the uke (in all honesty, it can be done without lube, but it would have to be with careful consideration. Very-Slow-Paced. Point blank: with the way Seto did it, Jou should have been torn in several places and in excruciating pain.) I am not saying that a rape victim cannot feel pleasure (or rather, that pleasure cannot be forced upon them) but the way it is presented, I just don't feel like Jou's been raped at all. I agree, if Seto is going to rape someone (esp. if that someone is Jou) then he is not going to use lube, so I was bracing myself for some emotional trauma on Jou's part, but never got it. It seems that you started off good, but at the end you changed your mind and made Jou just forget about his 'rape'. Rape victims, don't do that. Ever. As soon as Seto goes: “Mmmm, I taste good, don’t I, love?” Seto asked. Joey had been reduced to tears, cum all over his face. “Aww, why the tears, sweet? We’ve just shared something beautiful.” ; he could have done an evil smirk and walked away leaving Jou reduced to a sobbing wreck. That way, even if the actual 'rape' was a bit sketchy, it would still leave the lingering idea that this was not at all consensual and even though Jou did orgasm (twice) it was entirely against his will. That would have shown that it was no doubt, rape. But, instead, the ending leaves me thinking, "Why exactly is Jou-chan making jokes with his 'rapist' and no longer devastated?" That reaction in and of itself shows that - No, he wasn't raped. At All.

I have a problem with rape fics in general, mainly because many of them that are labeled 'rape' are hardly ever rape. In my opinion, rape is cruel, violent, sexual oppression; therefore, if it is written with graphic intent, then it should always *always* be written as clinically as possible to show its true cruelty. Many do not do this, instead they call they're writing 'rape' even though the entire scene is way more arousing than it should be. When one reads a rape fic, the only thing in their mind should be 'Please, let it end, I cannot handle this' as they continue to scroll and are mortified at what they read. One should not go, "Wow, I know this is a rape fic and all, but shit, that was a hot image!" something that I sit and find myself idly thinking half the time. I am not saying to not write rape fics, I am just saying to be a bit more strict with your ratings, this is definitely worthy of a non-con label, but in order to make it rape, you have to seriously force home that Jou does NOT want Seto at ALL. Once you do that, I am positive that this will be a very emotional rape fic. But then again, it entirely depends on how far you want this to go. Make it a bit less rushed, Jou much more unaccepting, and Seto a little bit crueller (but still doing this in the name of 'love' in his opinion) and you've got yourself a Grade A rape fic. I hope I do not discourage you (or anger you for that matter), but instead influence you to work harder on this fic, this could be really, really good.

Side note: Oh, and one more thing, you say this is a rape fic, but for the genre you say: "romance, comedy". Rape, Romance, and Comedy do not mix. Unless you are making this fic into a full scale novel, in which the first chapter could be Jou getting raped, and the following (12 or 20+ chapters) can be Seto trying to make up for that heinous crime and Honda and the crew trying their best (in amusing and innovative ways) to bring Jou back to being normal. I am truly sorry if this seems like I am attacking you, I honestly am not. It's just that, writing is my religion and content is my God - if the content does not mix with the point (the goal), then I am left bewildered and unfocused; I am sorry if I seem to be taking this too seriously.

O.o That was weird. Cool!

heh. amusing. not bad.

This is a cute plot bunny...it seemed a little starved of details and flesh, but it has good bones. If you decide to flesh it out a bit I would be happy to beta, or even co-author. Please please don't take that the wrong way...I have NEVER made an offer to co-author before, but I love your bunny and am actively restraining myself from borrowing it. I am not flaming or even being hyper-critical, or putting myself above you... I am just in love with the bunny and I would love to get my greedy little hands on it.

Maggiemay

Well this story has some sirious flaws in it, most notibly how blithly the whole rape issue is glossed over so you can't see it. Anal sex without lubrication, especialy on an unwilling participant can be painfull to a seme, as the penus rubs against dry abrasive flesh, but perminatly damaging to the uke as well.

As for Seto's comment about how Jou couldn't keep it up if he wasn't truely willing, that's pure bunk. When frightened, some males will get hard to a digree something RL rapists use against their victoms to shame them into silence. Also it is possible that Jou's body would respond to stimulation without any emotion attachment.

Which leads us to the final part of my rant, the ending of the story. Either Jou has the quirkest case of Stockhome syndrome (where a kidnapped person idntifies with their abuctor) or his tramatized mind has erased the memories of the last few hours because the jump form "I'm calling the cops as soon as I find a phone and having them lock your ass away Psycho" to "My true love, let's stay togather forever." seems right out of some seedy peice of rape-fantasy porn. No matter how much your are infatuated with someone, you don't just overlook them trying to start a relationship out on rape.

There could be an intersting story inside this plot, and with work you probibly could build an intersting and thought provokig fic with a little work, attention to detail and knowlege of real sex and the workings of a lasting relationship.

Awsome story!