AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Secret

by freewater

person Kodachi
schedule July 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was cute, but sex on the first date?? That was kinda fast, I believe...

However, I thought Otogi getting beaten was hilarious, and he deserved it for that kind of attitude (I mean Duke).
Kaiba getting jealous of Honda is funnier, too. *laughs*

I like this plot. I can't tell where it's going, and that is a good thing. I hate predictable plots sometimes.

Kodachi
person tash922
schedule July 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh please don't make this a short story its to good to end so quickly
person vampslyr
schedule July 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yea Joey! Show Duke what for. I’m glad you showed us why Kaiba didn’t interfere with Duke stealing Joey. Poor Kaiba must feel a bit insecure when it comes to dating if they’re all tramps looking for a sugar daddy.

The two of them having sex seemed pretty abrupt, especially with how slowly you’d been building the tension between them. Talking about Joey and Tristan together helped transition it a little, but it was still sudden.

vampslyr
person yami990
schedule July 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh more please. hehe having sex on the first date is far from the worst thing that could happen. being raped on the first date is much worse. here's cookies and hot cocoa to get you to write faster.
person PW
schedule July 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
She can't stay in the arms of Devlin! Why didn't she slap him, or do something tomboyishy? Well, I like this story, and definately will be checking up on it.
person thegrandfour
schedule July 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow hilarious. please you just have to continue! i beseech you! Look I'm on my knees! Please continue! so funny!
person Draza
schedule July 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*giggles* i've seen Kaiba fuming on TV, but i can only imagine the look on his face as DUKE DEVLIN came and stole his date...*continues to giggles*
person Wicabeth
schedule July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That's pretty sweet of Seto to defend Joey from the snobs. And yay! for actually going out to eat on a date to EAT. *snuggles Joey*
person Maggiemay
schedule July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I've been looking forward to this story all week. I am so happy you updated...good job...now write more

Maggiemay
person Kodachi
schedule July 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Man, this is hilarious! I can't believe that Kaiba is pretty offended about the whole disguise thing. *snorts* What a perfect gentleman!

I am really interested in how things develop between Kaiba, Otogi, and Jou... (Oh, I mean Duke for Otogi). Does that mean Otogi likes Jou or is he just trying to piss off Kaiba?

Please write more and soon!