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March 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh....Wow, wow, and wow again! =D I just _love_ what you've got going here -- especialy the Mokuba/Seto-watch snippet. Tee-hee...Mokuba sure is obsessed, isn't he? Even when he's trying so very hard not to be. Props on having him end up at Kaiba Corp, too. Pure genius! I have nothing really constructive to say other than...um...more please? XD Peace out! =D
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March 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Awww he's gonna cut his hair!! NO MOKIE!!! NO!!!!! Seto's such a jerk! BUT I LUV THIS STORY!! STOP THE SUSPENSE!! YOUR KILLING ME!!
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March 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hello! more reviews... thanks! ah, the hair! i -know-!!! how -could- he?!? let's see what he gets up to in the next chapter, hey? (i'll post it soon, just checking it for typos etc).
praiseofshadows, thanks for the info - i'm so happy that you like the fic! i didn't know about the lj community - i don't tend to frequent it, mainly because my internet connection is really slow, and lj takes ages to load. but bring it on! i'm happy to share the love!
and as today is a lovely day where i am, i'm sending sunshine to you all!
praiseofshadows, thanks for the info - i'm so happy that you like the fic! i didn't know about the lj community - i don't tend to frequent it, mainly because my internet connection is really slow, and lj takes ages to load. but bring it on! i'm happy to share the love!
and as today is a lovely day where i am, i'm sending sunshine to you all!
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March 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hi! This is really good -- it's got all the ambiguity that _is_ Seto&Mokuba (like "White Roses" =D). There's that weird, indefinable current between them, and I love how you make Mokuba half-aware/half-unaware of his more than-brotherly-interest in Seto. Anyway, I also love your Seto/Mokuba "God Drabble." It's so hard to find good Seto/Mokuba fic...umm...I don't know if you know/care, but there's a lj community dedicated to the couple (locketpair). I know there'd be a few people (besides myself XD) who'd love to see both this and "God Drabble" if you wanted to post them there. Anyway, again, this is really awesome, and I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it! =D
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March 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for taking the time to review. Writers like us just crave feedback, right? ^_~
Anyway, I like what you've got so far. I was just a little shocked that Seto treats Mokuba so callously.
Your story is written well, and you really know how to get into Mokuba's feelings, but there were a few typos, and:
"It was as if thinking them all week had given them a body of their own." - don't you mean "will" not "body"?
I'd like to know more about Teresa and Hanasaki. Drop a few hints about what Seto's feeling (even w/o using his POV).
You might also want to consider not having your title in all caps - but hey, that's a style choice.
Good luck!
Ps. I can't find Sleepless I. o.0
Anyway, I like what you've got so far. I was just a little shocked that Seto treats Mokuba so callously.
Your story is written well, and you really know how to get into Mokuba's feelings, but there were a few typos, and:
"It was as if thinking them all week had given them a body of their own." - don't you mean "will" not "body"?
I'd like to know more about Teresa and Hanasaki. Drop a few hints about what Seto's feeling (even w/o using his POV).
You might also want to consider not having your title in all caps - but hey, that's a style choice.
Good luck!
Ps. I can't find Sleepless I. o.0
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March 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey hey! thanks for dropping in! yeah, my seto is a bit mean here - my reason being that this is a very mokuba-centric fic, and mokuba is about 17 in this (i.e. angst-ridden and irrational). So, while Seto might not be very nice, in chapter one, that has a lot to do with Mokuba's attitude, as well. I did write in some more about Teresa and Hanasaki, but it didn't end up making it to the final cut (again, mokuba's pov only). sorry about the typos - there is an issue with the program i'm using.Hey! thanks again! i'm really happy that you reviewed!!!