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July 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It started out as interesting as first, particularly with the mention of going to Egypt. However it seemed to go a bit fast. I know this is an adult site, and the mentioning of detailed sex was fine, but certain events seemed to happen too quickly. Also, you keep saying has instead of as. Try to slow down on your story some and look over it a few times. I'm sorry if I sound harsh. Mainly my mind is boggled at how fast the scenes were, except the sex scene. The sex scene came on quickly, but throughout its course it was relatively steady. I'm also trying to picture two Atemus, the past Atemu and his future self Yami. The story did open up some possibilities to wonder how this could work, and thinking is a good thing. And yes, I actually did enjoy the story. If I hadn't enjoyed it, I would have stopped reading it. But nonetheless, I finished what I could see for a story. : )
schedule
January 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey Ko. ^_^ Great threesome-one shot ^_^. Love em' all. ^_^ I just finished Typing out chapter 8 to Salem Monday, but i won't be posting that until I get out my new fic called "The Wrath of Demolition Man!" It's an EXE fic. ^_^ an indestructable Net navi ^_^. So when you get a chance, and when I post it, do read chapter 8 to salem ^_^.
Talk to later ^_^
Alisi ^_^
Talk to later ^_^
Alisi ^_^
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January 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
... i only have one regret: reading this piece of trash.