schedule
May 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
very good...more?
schedule
May 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Quite quite good. You built things up slo and and obviously put a lot of effort into trying to keep it "real". The writing wasn't overdone (as is often the case in stories like this: Kaibafics bring mel melodrama.) You skillfully worked the "Tristan has a motorbike" fact into an solid story element. You captured emotional states quite well, and I like your handling of the rarely addressed issue of "when semes collide." (As someone who's put a lot of thought into uke!Seto for my own fics in process, i give a hearty nod to your implied psychology.) The end of chapteseemseemed pretty abrupt and a bit non sequiter, especially since previous chapters had ended so grally.lly.
Three story notes/suggestions, one medium, two small: first, I think Mokuba has a level of maturity that - while I entirely realize it's needed for the plot - just seems kinda wrong for a 12 year old. (But on the other hand, it's not like Seto's a realistic 16 year old either.) Next: when writing gets this good: drop the AN at the beginning of the story. Leave your warnings and disclaimers in, of course. If you really can't break yourself of the jokey nervous intro, at least put several blank lines between that and the story. Finally, - and this this is a language nazi pet peeve- men are brunets and blonds. Women are brunettes and blondes. it may look funny at first, but trust me, you'll get used to it.
I'll be interested to see, if you continue this, w you you go. (I do wish there was an "Author Alert" feature here lff.nff.net.)
So, is it pinky/8293's art you had in mind eh? if So, I'll bet I know the *exact* picture ...
Three story notes/suggestions, one medium, two small: first, I think Mokuba has a level of maturity that - while I entirely realize it's needed for the plot - just seems kinda wrong for a 12 year old. (But on the other hand, it's not like Seto's a realistic 16 year old either.) Next: when writing gets this good: drop the AN at the beginning of the story. Leave your warnings and disclaimers in, of course. If you really can't break yourself of the jokey nervous intro, at least put several blank lines between that and the story. Finally, - and this this is a language nazi pet peeve- men are brunets and blonds. Women are brunettes and blondes. it may look funny at first, but trust me, you'll get used to it.
I'll be interested to see, if you continue this, w you you go. (I do wish there was an "Author Alert" feature here lff.nff.net.)
So, is it pinky/8293's art you had in mind eh? if So, I'll bet I know the *exact* picture ...
schedule
May 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
... wow. That's all I can say. I loved the actual story part of it. ( less of the chara/author banter would be appreciated though...)
But that seems like it really could happen. I prefer Tristan/Joey myself, but I like most yaoi Tristan pairings. I want to see more! ^_^
But that seems like it really could happen. I prefer Tristan/Joey myself, but I like most yaoi Tristan pairings. I want to see more! ^_^
schedule
May 18, 2003 at 12:00 AM
wow...........I didn't see that one coming...
:)GRALNAK
:)GRALNAK
schedule
May 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
OHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!!! That was the hottest thing under the sun...*Bakura walks in the room with Ryou in tight pants* *drools* Well...ok....that was hot,too. But yours is hotter!!!!!
Bakurasgirl: Ryou, give Dragondreamer a seto and tristEn plushie!
Ryou: *runs up to Dragondreamer* From me and bakurasgirl. Hope you like!
Bakurasgirl: Bakura, do your special dance for Dragondreamer.
Bakura: *sighs and sings swinging his hips side to side* IF you like my body and you think I'm sexy, baby come on let me know...
Bakurasgirl: Isn't he the cutest dancer?
Bakura: Bakurasgirl, you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dead after this!!! I'm gonna send you to the shadow realm!
Bakurasgirl: Calm down, Ring-boy. You'll be fine. Geeze. Ok. Fine. Yami!
*Yami comes in dressed in tight pants singing like Bakura*
Bakurasgirl: I can't help it if I love bishies singing!!!!!!
Bakurasgirl: Ryou, give Dragondreamer a seto and tristEn plushie!
Ryou: *runs up to Dragondreamer* From me and bakurasgirl. Hope you like!
Bakurasgirl: Bakura, do your special dance for Dragondreamer.
Bakura: *sighs and sings swinging his hips side to side* IF you like my body and you think I'm sexy, baby come on let me know...
Bakurasgirl: Isn't he the cutest dancer?
Bakura: Bakurasgirl, you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dead after this!!! I'm gonna send you to the shadow realm!
Bakurasgirl: Calm down, Ring-boy. You'll be fine. Geeze. Ok. Fine. Yami!
*Yami comes in dressed in tight pants singing like Bakura*
Bakurasgirl: I can't help it if I love bishies singing!!!!!!
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May 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
It's still the same Mystical Dragon.. just a diff email... i gotta fix my profile... but i do have one story up here... hope u read it
Ye Gods!!! Poor Tristian...That would be horrible to have that happen
Ye Gods!!! Poor Tristian...That would be horrible to have that happen
schedule
May 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Karen: I don't know who I hate more, Tristan or Seto... stupid proud control freaks!
LD: Damn it, damn it damn it. Stupid boys. I hate men!
Karen: Well, between Mokuba, Ryou and Yugi, we should be able to get Seto and Tristan back together.
LD: Humph. I am still mad at them. No cookies for the stupid boys. However, we give sugar cookies to YD and DD.
Karen: They are special cut-out sugar cookies that are decorated to look like the YGO cast!
LD: So if Seto and Tristan don't start to behave, you can bite off certain parts of the cookies in demonstration * smirks evilly *
Karen & LD: MUAHAHAHAHAHA
LD: Damn it, damn it damn it. Stupid boys. I hate men!
Karen: Well, between Mokuba, Ryou and Yugi, we should be able to get Seto and Tristan back together.
LD: Humph. I am still mad at them. No cookies for the stupid boys. However, we give sugar cookies to YD and DD.
Karen: They are special cut-out sugar cookies that are decorated to look like the YGO cast!
LD: So if Seto and Tristan don't start to behave, you can bite off certain parts of the cookies in demonstration * smirks evilly *
Karen & LD: MUAHAHAHAHAHA
schedule
May 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
aahhh this is perfect the characters are greatly portrayd ... i would have mahe setto be a little more dominate...a little in the begginig...hehe...this is greate...
schedule
May 17, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Jams: Oh this is getting GOOD!
Seto Plushie: >.> You're kidding....
Neko Jounouchi: ::hides Seto Plushie's torch and pitchfork::
Jams: Ha ha Seto! Now you can't flame them!
Seto Plushie: >.<
Jams: Anywho ::glomps Dragon and Yami Dragon:: This 1's good... so is Stronger Than Before... I look forward to the next updates! ^.^
Neko Jounouchi: Oh here Dragon!! ::gives Dragon a whole crate of Tristan Plushies:: ^___^
Jams: Hey!! Not all ofm!! m!! ::snatches 1 Tristan Plushie for herself:: ^.^ Mine! Dragon can have the rest! ::stern look at Dragon:: If you promise to update! XD
Seto Plushie: >.> I'm sure they will Jams... Everyone likes to make my life a living hell.... -_-
Jams: ::glomps Seto Plushie:: don't take it so hard! We love you!
Seto Plushie: >.> You're kidding....
Neko Jounouchi: ::hides Seto Plushie's torch and pitchfork::
Jams: Ha ha Seto! Now you can't flame them!
Seto Plushie: >.<
Jams: Anywho ::glomps Dragon and Yami Dragon:: This 1's good... so is Stronger Than Before... I look forward to the next updates! ^.^
Neko Jounouchi: Oh here Dragon!! ::gives Dragon a whole crate of Tristan Plushies:: ^___^
Jams: Hey!! Not all ofm!! m!! ::snatches 1 Tristan Plushie for herself:: ^.^ Mine! Dragon can have the rest! ::stern look at Dragon:: If you promise to update! XD
Seto Plushie: >.> I'm sure they will Jams... Everyone likes to make my life a living hell.... -_-
Jams: ::glomps Seto Plushie:: don't take it so hard! We love you!
schedule
May 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Decided to read this one , when I should have been working (as always, but when you work all the time I guess that's how it goes). Wanted to let everyone know that my dear bestest buddy Dragondreamer wrote this little number by herself, I wouldn't have the time to work on two stories.....unless properly recompensated, and I don't think the things that I want are available. What do you think YD, could you fedex one of the men that I am lusting after over here....make it worth your while...Hopefully, no one is monitoring this transmission.....